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i guess i need to take a little time here. Life keeps throwing me curves bigger then my own. i first want it to be known that when i write to someone that i won't be conned or bullied or just claimed as someone's own slave. i am naturally submissive with very strong slave tendencies & i need to learn a lot. i have been finding out that everyone here is different, just like the vanilla world & has different outlooks on how to treat others. Some of the Dom's here are very informative & really make me think about what i need to be happy in my choices in life & how i want to spend the rest of it. i am not here to be abused or ridiculed. i have been trying to find the right fit for me & for a Master. my past is my past, my present is a bit of a mess right now & i am trying to straighten it out & seen as i have done everything on my own all my life, i don't expect someone i don't know to fix it for me either. Point being if a Master thinks i should focus on them & just set my stresses aside as if they don't exist, well sorry they do. i am looking now & unless a miracle happens for the moment i am just looking. i can't concentrate full time on what i want in life, my vanilla life is holding me back for now. If that is not understandable then i am again sorry. i am not a pain pig or dog or cow or piece of mindless meat. i will submit to the Master who deals with the fact we are not all perfect straight out of the gate & transition from vanilla li of servitude does not happen in a day or two & that things can not be left unfinished from one stage to the other. i don't need to be beat down for my spirit & independent past, i do need a little understanding & patience. i don't need to be coddled or pampered, i never have been in my life so why would i now. i have very few friends in my life & don't need them knowing or being questioned about my past, present or wants & needs. If someone is not willing to ask my & get my literal & honest word, opinion or answer then again i am sorry. i am a nobody, i have depended on no one my whole life because they always let me down. i have some trust issues that i need to over come & if that's too damaged for you, we don't need to know each other either. i am a tough, brave woman who puts up with a lot, am never an embarrassment around ones who count. Have a lot of common sense & a little class, even if i have no real training as a girly girl. All sub/slaves need to be trained by their Master even if they go from one to another at some point & should not be expected to be a mind reader. i have stated my outlook on how a Master should be looked at by His servant & i stick by that. But all things take time & a little patience. |
