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| i'm new to this, in a sense. i've been deeply involved with a number of extraordinary women in intense, monogamous relationships in which our dynamic drifted from vanilla (with D/s overtones and undertones) to hardcore roleplaying, psychodramatic programming, rough sex, humiliation, living under assumed identites for days and weeks at a time, playing out turgid psychosexual scenarios in public and private. despite all the safewords and the mutual devotion and the trust between us in each of these relationships, we'd get to a point of no return (repressed childhood memories bubbling up, a building resentment of the process that freed them, etc.) , where we could either keep going into new fractured and reconfigured forms of love and sex and communion, or drop everything and retreat into a "safer" and more static connection. re-repression. the great leap backwards. i feel like the abyss could be safely, ecstatically integrated if we both go in with our eyes wide open. i'm not interested in bondage per se. or whips or chains or paddles. though i'm as aroused by fetish gear as the next demon, and any tool can become an instrument. i'm looking for a bratty bottom dolly who wants to be broken, knowing that it's her doctor daddy's greatest bliss to play with her beatific bits and pieces. i'm looking for someone to go all the way with. is that you?
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