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I'm so tired of feeling this way! I have no motivation am depressed, scared,and most importantly I don't want to die!!
I'm moving down to Georgia trying to better myself and my life. But all I hit are road blocks! I am not happy here. I hate Illinois and all it's politics! Im not moving to get away from family or friends. I've come to the conclusion that my life is not here! Not with people killing people daily!! Not where everything has to be done yesterday and if it's not the world might end! Tired of being around people that are miserable and refuse to do anything about it!
Im empathic and this is why I chose to buy a big camper and live in a campground hopefully 5o down size n get a class C motorhome so I can travel more. I can't have negative people around me all the time or the doom n gloom peeps.
Yes I still am fighting stage 4 cancer and kidney failure and I 95% of the time am more positive than everyone around me
Sorry for ranting on but I really don't have anyone to talk to about this |
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Well it was only a matter of time that the carpet would b pulled from under me 😢
Yesterday I was told my cancer is back! I am now stage 4 metastatic breast cancer. Right now I'm Terrified n my head is spinning. But I will fight with everything I have to stay alive!! |
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Omg people!!! READ MY PROFILE BEFORE MESSAGING ME!!! |
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So I moved campgrounds and pop up camper is trashed. :( I am sleeping in a tent for now. I don't know what will happen if I can't get a camper to sleep in by Nov 1st |
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Been dealing with a lot of pain and no sleep the last couple of days. Ran out of my medication but can't get refill til Thursday!! Over all I think I'm handling it OK. I think if I would have to go to work it would b different! I decided to go to the pool do some light swimming and float on raft for a bit! Shower time now!! Then dinner! I CAN DO THIS!!! |
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When is it time to just say fuck it all!!??? I'm at the end of my rope |
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At first the communication is great, you talk text or email every night. Then after time goes by you talk, text, email every other night, then 3 times a week, then every other week. Eventually that relationship you built starts to make you question your worth. Till one day you realize you were nothing more than a play toy. And after 4 years of being with each other only to find yourself starting your long search over again just to find that right one again if he even exist. And you wonder is anyone really worth putting you through that self doubt again? Are they worth making you guess at your worth? IDK If i really want to go thruogh all this again. Been hurt too many times 😢 |
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