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I'm a bitter 84 year old man trapped inside the mind of a strong but tortured young bisexual German woman, who shares her psyche with a carefree, lackadaisical youth who secretly covets beauty and struggles with self-image.
All of these conflicting qualities are crammed into a rather average looking, decidedly female body that comes equipped with two of everything there should be two of, one of everything that comes in a stand-alone package and a whole bargain-bin full of dry witticisms and raunchy one-liners. Sprinkled with cynicsm, mixed with a generous portion of logic and served with a slice of reality for garnish.
People without a sense of humor need not apply.
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Oh me, oh my.
On second thought, I am unposting the picture. Thanks to everyone who's read my profile all the way through (sense of humor attached) and was nice enough to strike up some friendly conversation.
I do have some pictures and I am willing enough to share, but for the moment I think I'll do so on a case-by-case basis.
Oh. I am adding to the list on the journal entry below!
7.) Offers to hypnotise me via internet connection might be ignored. I only say might because there may come a day when I'm in a particularly mellow, easily amused mood and thus could agree simply to have a laugh at your expense. If that doesn't sound like fun to you, no worries. Just don't offer. :) |
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So, here I am, on my second alternative dating site. I feel like I'm about to address myself to an Alternate Lifestyle Anonymous group.
Hi, everybody, my username is OneJinxedMinx - you can call me Jinxy - and I am a mind-f*** addict. *everybody* Hi, Jinxy!
In the interest of self preservation (conversations of the increasingly moronic variety tend to make my cheese slide off the cracker) as well as sparing a few people from my not-so-friendly side, I'll just jot down a quick list of everything that made me delete my account on the other alternative dating site.
1.) I am not a cyber-conquest. See these words you're reading? They are written by a real person, with real feelings and reactions. Please treat me accordingly. If you met me on the street, you would not say, "Hey, I like your looks (profile), I wanna dominate you behind those benches over there," do so, and then leave.
2.) I am a situational submissive (dominant). Bless me, I'm stuck somewhere in the middle in happy neutral la-la land. When I meet someone, I am respectful, but I am a button pusher. I can't help it. Don't expect instant anything from me. If, after a period of getting to know one another, it is evident through conversation that I am the weaker link, my submissive side will pop out of the woodwork like Jay Leno's chin on a cracker. Likewise, if it is evident that I am the stronger personality, my assertive and more domineering side will not hesitate to come out.
3.) If you feel like you are a dominant, but find me after a time not to show submission, don't take offense. You may very well be a dominant, even a very good one, but for whatever reason, I am not the submissive for you. And, you guessed it, that means you're not the dom for me. That doesn't mean there has to be any flinging of insults, just a simple acknowledgement that our conversations/relationship/etc. is not going anywhere, our ties can be severed neatly, or our relationship can be redefined as friends only.
4.) I am not here to get your cyber jollies off. Something about the internet, being harassed all the time for cyber, etc., etc., has turned me off to it. If I get to know someone through enough conversation and sharing, I can open up to erotic discussions, scenario envisioning or roleplay, but if the issue is forced or redundant (meaning every conversation after that point takes on an erotic nature) I will clam up faster than an altar boy's buttocks at confession time.
5.) I ignore idiotic insults. I don't give them, and I don't want them. This is an 18 and over site. Let's all act like it.
6.) I do not rush into anything. I've been happily independent for over 2 years. I'm not going to break out of what has become a very comfortable zone for me without being fairly positive it will be a long lasting and rewarding experience.
That's all for now. Hope I've deterred the wrong people without boring the tears out of the right ones. :) |
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