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The pages of the old year close as the pages of a new year open. May your story bring you happiness,peace and whatever else you need.
Stay safe and be blessed. |
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I've been home from the hospital for about 4 days now plans I'm still adjusting to everything. You really don't realize the small things you take for granted in day to day life. I am currently on oxygen at home (2 liters(and have noticed I can get winded easy doing simple everyday tasks like cooking or simply washing dishes. I know I will be on the oxygen once the blood clots ( thankfully small) clear up in my lungs.
Being on blood thinners brings on a whole new realm of being careful. Something as simple as bumping your arm a little too hard can bring on serious bruising that you need to watch like a hawk. Brushing your teeth needs to be done a little more gently, shaving with a razor it out of the question, electric shaver only,if at all.
I fully understand there are many people who are on blood thinners or have had a seriously close brush with death. I'm not sharing my story for sympathy,I'm sharing it in case anyone in a similar situation needs to know they are not alone.
If nothing else I have learned one lesson extremely well...I cannot and will not put anything or anyone in front of my needs again
Sif I don't take care of myself the way I need to,the way I deserve to,how the hell can I take care of anyone else.
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On Sunday,May 28th 2023, my life changed completely. My left leg was( and still is) swollen,I had an extremely large reddened and painful area on the inside of my thigh, just above my knee area. My leg felt as though it weighed 3 times as much as my right leg. The leg was hot to the touch and painful. A friend brought me to the ER and I'm grateful we came.
After an ultrasound of my leg, my worse fear was discovered, they found a very large blood clot in my leg. They immediately sent me to have my lungs checked with IV contrast and they found a blood clot in each lung. I'm not going to lie, I was scared shitless, but thanks to an amazing Dr and amazing ER staff, they caught it in time. They started me on heparin immediately and I'm grateful and lucky that it's working well enough to avoid surgery.
It's going to be a while before I'm 100% back to myself, but a lot of things are changing.
For here( this site) I am not looking for anything other than possibly friendship. Let's be real...I'm going to be on blood thinners for at least the next 6 months and there is no way I'm putting myself at risk for anyone.
If you think something is wrong with your body, get it checked out, don't play hero because it could be the last time you do. |
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I need to step back from everything and focus on healing myself. I'm dealing with severe numbness in my leg and waiting for a referral to a neurologist.
Hopefully I will know and understand more once I see them. |
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May everyone have a gentle Christmas |
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Still healing... walking extremely well with a cane and am starting to walk short distances in the house without the cane.
I am able to drive short distances (automatic only can't drive my standard yet).
Physical therapy is getting a little harder but I'm feeling really good about the progress I am making.
I hate grocery shopping...the shopping itself isn't bad, it's trying to bring the groceries inside that sucks. What used to take me 1-2 trips now takes me 7-8 trips.
Sleeping is still troublesome at times especially when the nerve pain won't settle down...naps are now an almost daily occurrence but I'm ok with that.
It's taking time to heal and get strong again and for myself it's all been worth it. |
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I am 1 month post-op from a total knee replacement. Physical therapy is going well. I still have no feeling in a lot of my leg.
The only real pain I have is nerve pain from healing and both my Dr and physical therapist say it should improve in time. |
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Home from a total knee replacement. The pain is beyond belief. I know this pain will go away but for now it hurts bad. |
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Went to the podiatrist and was hit with news I was not ready for.
Need to think seriously about what my next steps should be. Very unsure right now.
Do I keep pushing forward working myself past the point of pain or do I take early retirement and concentrate on fixing what's wrong.
This is not an easy decision for me and there is no quick fix.
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I hope everyone has a gentle Christmas. |
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It's been almost a year since I moved from NY to AZ. There are people and places I miss and will be seeing soon, but I have grown to truly love where I am now. I feel blessed and am finally able to live and not just survive. |
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Let me make this easy for you. If your wife doesn't understand you, then find a way to explain it to her. I have never been and will never be anyone's dirty ,hidden secret.
On a brighter note I hope everyone has a blessed day. |
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One day people will finally wake up and realize they really do matter. Don't let anyone steal your shine or happiness. |
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So many positive changes happening, new year, new job, new sense of self and a new move on the horizon. |
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My Christmas wish for the world is for people to finally open their eyes,and minds and understand we are not all that different from each other.
Take the time to either call or spend time with loved ones because one day all you will have are memories, so build the best ones you can.
Happy Holidays,stay safe and be blessed. |
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...perhaps one day people will wake up and no longer be afraid to speak their own truth instead of a ed truth handed to them.... |
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Why are you so afraid to remove your mask? Are you afraid of what others may see, or worse, what you may see looking back from your own mirror.
Why are you playing games? Are you hoping for some prize for being the "best"?
Why are you pretending that you are so tough and mean? Do you do it to keep people away, or is it what you think others want to see.
Speak your truth and be who you really are. Some people may say " but if I speak honestly people wont like me" Think about that for a moment....which is more important..to be liked for who you are not...or let the fools who have issues with your honesty walk away and you stay true to who you are inside.
Take the time you need to figure out what you need and want in life and set realistic bars and don't settle for below that. |
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I feel sad when I see people put themselves down or devalue themselves just to make someone else seem better.
Think about it...If they really were a strong person it would show in the way they deal with people and themselves.
Anyone can beat their chest and yell and scream and belittle, but it takes a stronger person to quietly get their point across and do what is right, especially when no one is watching.
Before you jump at a choice ask yourself three things...
Is this what I really need/want in my life?
Am I doing this out of fear or desire?
Am I taking my time and ensuring I am asking all the questions I need to ask?
Any time you are told you should never ask questions is when you should immediately stop all communications with this person. You are responsible for your self above everything else. Don't be goaded , pushed or bullied into anything you are not ready for.
Have a great day and feel free to share your thoughts. |
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What drives you? Is it power, greed, lust, curiosity?
What motivates you? Is it strength, fear, a reward or punishment?
Do you appreciate yourself for the things you accomplish no matter how small, or do you beat yourself up over the fact things didn't turn out perfect?
Remember that no matter what anyone else says, you matter.
You deserve the best life has to offer. Don't make yourself small because someone can't handle your strength.
Listen to your own rules and convictions not to what some "cyber" expert says you should be, or behave. |
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