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| Can I trust You?
Ceding control to a Dominant Woman who can help me become a better person than I am, along with a better servant/submissive—that is what I seek.
My goal is to please you—your praise (or lack of punishment) will in turn please me. On the other hand, when I eventually fall short of your goals, your painful punishment will make me feel whole, that I have atoned for my failure. I hate to fail. I won’t mess up in order to get you to spank me (etc.). I prefer to have you praise me. But I am human, and thus imperfect, and inevitably I shall fall short of your desires. When I do, atonement through punishment will make me feel more balanced, particularly when you let me know that it is for our mutual benefit rather than a prelude to abandonment.
There are many irons in my fire: working at a challenging career, learning a couple of new languages (for both fun and professional purposes), becoming certified in software for work/career, re-learning to play guitar (I used to be good), maintaining my house, getting into shape, watching out for an elderly parent, and trying somehow to keep up with vanilla friendships and current affairs in the world. I don’t know how people with children do it all! (I have no kids.)
To me, it does not seem mutually exclusive that I can get better at these things and also become a good submissive/servant to you. On the contrary, it seems to me that the discipline required to become proficient at either these vanilla activities or at BDSM service should help one become better in the opposite areas.
To those ends, I desire a BDSM relationship with an intelligent Dominant/Switch Woman who knows what She wants and is willing to train me to deliver that, plus to hold me accountable for my personal goals along with Her goals for me.
What can I offer to you? Well, as a single man living alone, I have a grasp of house-cleaning and laundry. I’m gradually learning to cook. At general organizing, I’m great. I’d be happy to pick up your groceries and/or dry-cleaning, or to do other similar errands. I’m pretty good at computers in general, as they comprise a great deal of my work, and I’m learning to program in XHTML. As for fetishes, I love chastity, so I’m willing to help you cum without having an orgasm myself. And I’m quite willing to let you take out your frustrations by beating me. Taking a strap-on from you would be a pleasant reward, I think (as I have yet to do this). In general, other than hard limits such as tickling or electrical play, I’m willing to try what You want.
I am a submissive. That means sometimes submitting my will to yours and doing things that please you rather than me. So be it. I want it that way. You decide the fetishes, if any, within limits. Of course, it will help if our fetishes are similar. But Mainly I want to please and I want a disciplinarian to help me reach my goals.
All of this will definitely require trust and ideally friendship, but will certainly be an ongoing situation, rather than a one- or two-time service situation. If it leads to the equivalent of a vanilla boyfriend-girlfriend situation, then that is fine, but I am happy either with or without that. I would just like some stability.
Your age and body type are much less important to me than our ability to get along and the compatibility of our locations and schedules.
As a very private person, I prefer that our relationship appear “normal/vanilla” to outside doors, but incorporate Domination and submission behind the privacy of our closed doors.
Given my life schedule, I need to plan our get-togethers in advance. There may be times when I can get together on the spur of the moment, but I don’t count on them. On the other hand, with enough notice, I can plan for time together. Weekends generally will work best.
If you are interested in taking control and being served please message me.
Thank You.
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Some thoughts on D/s relationships:
Service ought to come first:
▪ Ways I could be of service to you:
⁃ Listening to what you have to say, without judgement
⁃ Engaging in intelligent conversation about current events, or topics that interest you
⁃ Learning a foreign language together
⁃ Accompanying you to places where you want a companion (parties, concerts, theater, museums)
⁃ Running basic errands (for example, dropping off/picking up dry cleaning, picking up groceries)
⁃ Performing basic household chores (for example, dusting, vacuuming, sweeping, washing dishes, ironing or folding laundry)
⁃ Picking up dinner, or perhaps cooking
⁃ Giving shoulder/back rubs
⁃ Thought: wouldn’t you love to come home to a clean and organized house, with dinner prepared, pleasant music playing the background, your clothes for tomorrow morning ready, and someone willing to help you relax as you see fit?
▪ Skills that you might enjoy, which I’m working on improving:
⁃ Body massage
⁃ Foot care/pedicure skills
A D/s relationship is an un-equal relationship:
▪ The Dominant has the final say, and the submissive need not always like the results
▪ There can be non-reciprocity, such as the Dominant having the submissive perform tasks for her that she will not perform for him. And that is okay. No guilt.
▪ The Dominant has permission to say and/or do things that would not be acceptable in “normal” society, whatever it is she desires
▪ The submissive ought not to be mindless: the Dominant may delegate certain decisions or major tasks to him, and at all times he ought to be attempting to anticipate her needs
A D/s relationship is not PRIMARILY about kinky activities, but it won’t be fun without them. That being said, the following apply:
▪ It’s up to the Dominant to decide what happens, along with when and where (of course, respecting limits)
▪ Kinky play is secondary to providing service |
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