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OMGigi

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nyctartanSlutWalkNYC

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Please read my profile. I wrote it for a reason, people. I've decided to completely change the entirety of my "About Me" section. It's been far too long. Ever since I started this profile, I always thought I knew exactly what I wanted. I'm so way off now. I'm not inexperienced anymore, but you know, I'm still learning and growing. From that, I've learned that I'm so super turned on by intelligence. "Sapiosexual" is what it's called, folks. Now you know, if you hadn't already. I like to think that it helps to also weed out the creepers, which is nice. The few main criteria that I have for a Dom would be, obviously, intelligence, strong, mentally and physically, and needs to have damn sense of humor and likes to have fun. I can't tell you how many Doms were just too serious and completely dullsville because of it. The oldest that I like would still have to be 36 years old. I'm not willing to relocate, I don't do long distance; the most we could be apart is half an hour tops, I'm not into Polygamy. It can be as casual as you want it and if it turns into something more, so be it. My hard limits are already listed below. Motorcycles, tattoos, and piercings are totally acceptable. Just sayin'. As for myself, I just love to have fun. I like to consider myself super outgoing, almost to the point where I'm ridiculously friendly. I read, write lyrics to beats my friend makes, and draw a lot, and am currently trying to create a comic book, as odd as it may seem. I feel like I can be bratty when I want to be, sometimes even just for the punishment I'd receive from it. I'm definitely not as bratty as I used to be; I've calmed down some since then. Man, I just absolutely suck at writing about myself. I like in-line skating to groovy-shaky music? Anyway. . .please don't hesitate to message me, even if it's just to chat or for a friendship! xoxo P.s. I should probably mention that I delete messages that don't have some type of substance to them. Generic messages are boring, write me a funny story or something. ANYTHING other than "Hey sexy", "what's up?", or my favorite "hey how are u?" Ugh. I can't stand that. TYPE LIKE A NORMAL, LITERATE PERSON. Addendum: If you'll notice, my profile now says I'm a Switch. I've decided that I really do wanna try being a Domme out. Hopefully I can find a sub who's similar to me, personality wise, and can be super understanding when I take everything slow, being a beginner and all. I don't think I'm comfortable enough yet to really deal some pain out, so bear with me? Maybe teach me a few things, help me understand what it is you want.

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10/21/2013 8:11:03 PM

I really wanna sign up for the Run or Dye 5K, but they haven't posted anything for my area yet and I just wanna be showered in colorful dye while dressed as a unicornnnnn ughhhh my life. The struggle is so real.


10/21/2013 4:47:02 PM

I've been thinking about this for a while now, actually ever since doing research on the BDSM community a few years ago and stumbling upon it. I really would love to do erotic/fetish photography. It seems like a lot of fun and definitely something I would enjoy doing. I would need models. Or really awesome friends.

Just a thought.

xoxo


10/7/2013 9:36:45 PM

I'm really good at forgetting about this site for lengths at a time. I do this a lot. It's weird and I need to stop. I'll try to get on more frequently. Sorry, y'all.

xoxo


9/17/2013 11:22:29 AM
I really wanna go apple/pumpkin picking something fierce. #realtalk xoxo

9/16/2013 10:21:02 PM

Passing the fuck out.

xoxo


9/16/2013 8:13:12 PM

Oh man, so many messages are in my inbox right now. It's so daunting just looking at it. I. . .I think I'm going to make some tea and watch an episode of Boardwalk Empires before tackling this task.

 

xoxo


9/12/2013 11:17:51 AM

I wonder what the going rate for being an escort is.


9/11/2013 8:03:38 PM
Man, I need money. I've interviewed for over a dozen office jobs. Nothing. Aughhh. I just need to keep trying, I guess. Gina xoxo

9/2/2013 10:18:01 PM

Man, I still think I might want a sub. But the sub in me is all like, "Yo, motherfucker, what are you? An idiot? You don't know the first thing about being a Domme!"

Aughhh.

Gina

xoxo


9/2/2013 9:37:25 PM

Is it weird that I prefer using CollarMe's journal to. . .well, journal? I don't like posting shit on Facebook, Tumblr, Twitter (I don't even have one), Instagram, etc. I feel more comfortable revealing all the crap that goes through my head on here. Like tonight, for instance.

I don't know why I feel the way I do. I've been feeling this way for months now and I think it might be an accumulation of things. Around friends and family, I hide behind sassy comments and laughter, but in my mind, I feel. . .numb? Sad? Lonely? Frustrated?

All of the above, actually. I've cried more times in the past few months than I ever have in my life. More often times than not, it would happen at night, when I'm alone in my bed (sometimes after consuming too much rum). But every now and again, I'll be out with a couple friends, driving around, and they'd play a song I definitely wouldn't want to hear at that time, and silently cry in the back seat. It really sucks. I have no idea what I thought I would gain from writing this post.

 

Gina

xoxo


P.s. My tests, for the most part, came back fine. My GI is having me take pancreatic enzyme pills? Anyone wanna explain in non-doctor terms what that means? He said my pancreas is fine, so why do I need the pills?


8/29/2013 8:52:05 PM

So tomorrow I get to go back to my GI doctor and find out the results of all those damn tests I had to take over the last few months are. All I want is for what's wrong with me to be fixed. I miss eating like a normal person and actually enjoying what I eat. Soon, hopefully, I'll be better again. I swear it's always one thing or another with me. You know, I never get sick with like the cold or sore throats or what have you. My body's all like:

"Pst. Hey Gina."

"What?"

"It's been a few months of pure health."

"Yeah. . .and?"

"TIME TO BRING THE PAIN."

"Auuuugghhhhh!"

"GO BIG OR GO HOME, GINA. THAT'S HOW I DO IT, BABY!"

Exactly like that. Every few months or so, I get super sick. Nothing with anything conventional, mind you. Shit that I need surgery for is what I get. I hate it. So hopefully this visit is where I get medicine to fix me.

 

Gigi

xoxo


7/3/2013 7:39:54 PM

Yesterday was my birthday. It was. . .pretty uneventful, if you ask me. I just haven't really been in the spirit lately about anything. I'm not depressed. I'm just. . .sad?

I need to just vent my emotions. Being stuck in a house all day kinda breaks your spirit down.

Gina

xoxo

 

P.S. I hate the assholes setting off fireworks behind my house and scaring my dog. IT'S NOT THE FOURTH OF JULY YET DICKWEEDS.


6/1/2013 8:30:22 PM

Boy howdy, has it been a fucking minute since I've been on here. Man, I wish I could tell you about all the fun and exciting adventures that I've been on, but there has been none. None whatsoever. My life is pretty damn boring as of late. I've been scouring the interwebs for jobs, for the past 12 hours. There has been one change to my life, I suppose, though. I got a new bed. Queen sized, thick ass mattress that feels like a cloud. Och, it's amazing. If I were to die, I'd wanna die on this bed, it's that comfortable. I got flip flops? That's not really exciting news, though. Oh well.

 /sigh.

 Dull life.

 Gigi

xoxo


9/13/2012 4:50:35 PM

This is how I feel when I get angry messages:

http://imgur.com/ELZPY


9/13/2012 4:03:38 PM

Give me something to draw. I'm taking requests. Only because I want to draw, but can't think of anything. Message me your ideas!

Gina

xoxo


9/12/2012 9:39:07 AM

And this is the result of not sleeping:

My friend Michelle.

http://i.imgur.com/iIaMz.jpg

 

And some bitch with freckles. Bitches love freckles.

http://i.imgur.com/pwpX1.jpg

 

 


9/12/2012 3:00:42 AM

I need to sleep, but fuck it. It's 6 in the morning. No point going to sleep now. I'm just going to draw to pass the time by. Nothing else to do to get my mind off my stinging eyeballs. Ugh.


9/11/2012 11:56:18 PM

Listen, I don't normally do this. Actually, I never this, but dammit I'm just sick of it. I hate a book. This is not possible for I am an avid book lover. But this book single-handedly has set my blood boiling for some time. In fact it shouldn't even be called a book. It's an overgrown child's view of Twilight. It doesn't even do BDSM justice. It makes it seem like because this guy was abused when he was younger, he acts in the present day like a "Dom." That puts a terrible light on all Doms in the community. No, this guy is just a stalking dickwad who STALKS HIS LOVE INTEREST. That's a red flag right there for one thing. If some guy began to stalk me, I'd probably call the local police. He was stalking her! Did I mention the stalking? Ugh.

Not to mention the horrid writing. You're how old? 30-something? YOU WRITE LIKE A TWELVE YEAR OLD. Fuck, the first paragragh is about how the main character can't get her hair to work and dammit why did her friend just HAVE to get sick? God-forbid, her best friend gets a cold. And how the hell did her friend get away with having her interview that crazy stalker? She's not even apart of the school paper. She has no writing experience whatsoever. IN THE REAL WORLD, THOSE THINGS DON'T HAPPEN. I'm completely disgusted by the book. I agree people should be more educated with the BDSM community to extinguish stereotypes, but not like this. Jeez, has anyone seen the new COSMO edition? It talks about spicing up your sex life like 50 Shades. It was horrible. And now the damn series has its own magazine. Because not only should you read these books, but damn if you miss those drinks with the titles like, "The Red Room of Pain." WTF world? They're also going to be releasing a movie. If I could facepalm any harder, I'd be shoving my brain right out the back of my head and on to the floor in a bloody mess where it would then facepalm itself. I know and have read a fuck-ton of better books that should be made into a movie. The Anita Blake series is a better source for BDSM than 50 Shades of Grey. That series deserves a movie. I've been hoping and waiting for that. But no, a story that was a TWILIGHT FANFICTION gets to be a movie. ARGERRRRRRRBLLAHBLAHHH! There's just no winning.

/End rant.

xoxo


5/22/2012 4:32:40 AM

Also, I'm so so sorry for not replying. I'm normally really good at that, but I've been busy as fuck as of late. Anyway, I pinkie promise I'll get to replying soon!

Gina

xoxo


5/22/2012 4:25:31 AM

Is it weird to lurk your own account hoping no one will notice and just continue to think you're still taking your break, even though you wanna see what's going on up in this shit? I hope it's not weird. Well, since some of you caught me in the act, I might as well just come back. I missed ya'll sexy bitches anyway. Couldn't stay away for too long, you know? But anyway, I put up a new picture and was hoping for some feedback. It's looks sketchy and rushed because it was. I thought, "Hey! Not only will FL like this, but I'm pretty sure CM would too!"

By the way, for those wondering, the quote in the picture is from a song called Break You Hard by Natalia Kills. I felt it was fitting.

 

Gina

xoxo

P.S. The guy and I didn't work out. He was a tool.


10/5/2011 12:43:12 AM

I'm most likely be getting off here for a while. Not sure when I'll be back, but it probably won't be any time soon. I'm pretty sure I've found a great Dom. The one I met at the college I go to. Remember I mentioned him once? Mhm, so hopefully it goes well. If not, I'll be back on here, doing my journaling thang. Good luck and have fun to all of you!

Gigi

xoxo


9/21/2011 8:42:25 PM

I have a job! :D At this big place called State Fair. It's like a every holiday emporium. Now, hopefully they don't fire me after Halloween.


9/19/2011 8:40:42 PM

School is officially running my life. No time for anything, plus I need a job desperately.

Although, it's not all bad. I met a guy there. He's really nice and into the kink so that's a perk. I hope it works out with him cause I really like this guy.

/crosses fingers.


9/2/2011 2:40:09 PM

Oh man, another entry within the span of less than an hour? Jeez.

Today's such a pretty day. I was about to forget about electronics for the day and grab my mat, go on my back deck and meditate. Then I remembered, "Oh yeah, mo-fuckin' wasps are straight chillin' back there in my brother's grill." I hate wasps. They fuck shit up wherever they go. I don't want them ruining my relaxing time. So, I guess I'm gonna have to do it in my room, which I'm not a fan of. There's not a lot of good juju in here seeing as how a room got boarded up for mysterious circumstances and the only way to get to that room is through mine. Fuck, there's even a window into that room if you look on the side of my house. Creepy ass shit.


9/2/2011 2:24:35 PM

It'd be nice if my WebAdvisor would let me sign in so I can register for classes. Although, it might be my fault since I waited last minute to register.

I just wanted to take a couple classes for my Vet. Tech. major this semester anyway. Ah well. I guess I'll go for it in the spring. Family won't be too thrilled, though.


8/31/2011 2:32:50 AM

Man, I'm in a weird *Harlequin novel kick. I really want to write one, but dammit, it's so hard to start one. I mean, yeah, it's easy to make a plot and a theme all up in that shit. Hell, I could easily write it about BDSM. Lord knows I could get information of a bundle of people on here for it. But, it's starting it off that's the hardest for me. I have a jubilee of ideas in my noggin', but I can't seem to put them down on to the computer. I'm in a rut and it's not a good place for me to be in when I'm inspired to write.

*For those who don't know, Harlequin novels are basically erotic novels.


8/30/2011 8:35:37 PM

Did I really just drink two nights in a row? Yep I did. Maybe I'm gonna drink tomorrow, too? Jeez, am I becoming an alcoholic?


8/28/2011 2:28:59 AM

I'm now declaring war on Hurricane Irene. If I could defeat Poseidon, this ho shouldn't be too much trouble.

Did you know duct tape isn't very effective when wet? 'Cause it isn't.

Jus' sayin'.


8/27/2011 11:30:51 PM

This bitch Irene just knocked out my window. Nice breeze, though. <3


8/27/2011 10:31:32 PM

Temporarily borrowing my mom's laptop charger.

Currently outside on my porch, smoking a cigarette and sippin' on some wine, watching Irene's bitch-fit. Pretty interesting, really. Hope everyone in the path of this hurricane is safe and okay (and enjoying it cause I know I am).

"It's about to be a champagne monsoon." -Champagne Showers by LMFAO [ft. Natalia Kills]

Fitting and ironic.


8/24/2011 2:01:38 PM

A quick note:

I love getting really deep and inspirational messages from people on this site with off-the walls crazy usernames. It makes me feel like there's hope in the world after all. You're all the best and in a weird way, I love ya'll. Thanks for everything; the kind words, advice, your own personal stories. They're so helpful.

<3


8/24/2011 1:48:09 PM

One of the very few hateful messages I get from the every endearing truesadist20.

"you are a man under a fake profile! I will keep reporting you and you will be banned soon! JERK"

I responded with, "...I'm a woman."

His response? "can you be verified on cam? skype?"

Now, I'm not an idiot. You just wanna get me on cam and make me show my womanly bits so you can jerk your joystick like the sick pervert you are and blah blah blah.

Oh yeah, you sure fooled me.

And besides, what difference does it make if I get banned? It's an effin' BDSM site. I'm sure there are tons more where this came from. Oh jeez, what ever shall I do without CollarMe? Dumbass.


8/22/2011 8:51:42 PM

I'm thinking about seeing a doctor. My depression is getting worse.

The other night I was with a few friends and everything was okay, but earlier that day my one friend, Cory, chewed me out for not telling people what's bothering me. So that had been plaguing my thoughts all day. Let me just say, it's not that I don't like telling people what's bothering me, it's just hard to. And when I want to, it seems like someone else has issues at the same time and I don't wanna be a dick and just take the attention from them. So, flashforwarding to that night, a girl I know named Stephanie (everyone calls her Loaf for some reason, I don't know) was having classic 14-year old drama with one of her guy friends and I and my friend were trying to calm her down. At the same time, a friend I've know for a long time, Becky, was having actual problems. Like some serious issues. I've always been a good friend to her, even though she's a "wayward" friend. Comes and goes from our group when it's convenient for her. I still care about her, though.

Now, not only has all this been going on, but it hasn't even been a month since my uncle passed away. The only time I cried was the day my mom told me and then later on, my eyes watered when I left the wake. But that was about it. Since then, I've been dealing with family problems and friend problems and now, more recently Becky's problems. So, you can understand that I haven't had the proper time to grieve yet.

Until the other night. I don't know what it was, but when we left (it was my friend Dani driving, Becky in the passenger seat, Cory to my right and my other friend Cody to my left. I was obviously in the middle) my eyes started watering. Like there was no preemptive warning. Cody was trying to get my attention, but I turned my head so he wouldn't see. Unfortunately, Cory saw and pulled me into his chest and that's when it happened. All my emotions, all my anger, all the pent up frustration and sadness just exploded and I began bawling. But, because the music was loud, no one else noticed until we dropped off Cody and they asked me if I was gonna go home or not. I just couldn't stop crying. It was as if someone turned on a faucet in my brain and wouldn't turn it off. Dani pulled into a nearby parking lot and everyone sat there patiently listening as I just wailed and cried and sobbed about my uncle.

You have to understand something, and I'm not trying to gain pity. Quite the contrary, I hate pity. I'm relaying to you readers a story; an unfortunately sad story, but a story non the less. My uncle had been the sole father-figure in my life since I was 10 because of my father's passing. So when Uncle Mazz died, my world pretty much shattered. I always believed him to be indestructible. He was a healthy, old man. Albeit obese on the outside, his insides were like a horse's.

I've been trying to reason with myself all this time, but I still can't help feeling like a shitty ass person. I abandoned him when he needed me most. Do you understand what that's like? To abandon someone and then them dying? I hadn't spoken to him in months. I never said happy birthday to him or happy father's day. What makes me feel worse is that, even though I completely cut him off from my life, he still loved me. My aunt, his wife, told me. Right now, until I can finally come to terms with all of this, I'm going to be in the worst mood ever. I feel lower than dirt and nothing really can make it go away.

I'm sorry at the length of this entry, I didn't mean to make it so long. I just needed to get some things off my chest and tell you that story. Thanks for reading, I appreciate it.

<3


8/17/2011 9:22:30 PM

I'm in a funk.

I have no energy or the want to go out and have fun, hang with friends, ect. I can hardly stomach food and I just want to sleep all the time. I don't know why I feel this way, and it's been going on for a couple weeks now. Ugh, I wish it would end soon.


8/16/2011 9:12:32 PM

Some Doms on here that I talk to are cute as a gosh darn button. Just felt like it was necessary to say. Gotta let them know what I'm thinking.

Night, sweet dreams! :D


8/16/2011 10:56:38 AM

LaCoqutte and myself are going to be participating in the SlutWalk in NYC on Oct.1st at 12pm.

"SlutWalk is about expressing our unity, fighting to shed the stereotypes and myths of sexual assault and supporting a better understanding of why sexual assault happens, putting the blame where it belongs: on those who perpetrate it."

 "Society teaches, "Don't get raped" rather than "Don't rape." It is time to stop blaming the victim!"

 SlutWalk is a campaign designed around rape and why blaming the victim is not only wrong, but disgusting. It doesn't matter what you wear, your gender, age, race, ect., rape is rape. Join us in this cause if you're in the area and can attend.

 http://slutwalknyc.com/

 

Hope to see ya'll there! :D


8/14/2011 9:32:00 PM

You know what I never really understood? Cybering. Yeah, I did it when I was younger, but seriously. I was a pre-teen. Stupid and not understanding of the world around me. Like back then, it was fun. I see it now, I get embarrassed for the person doing it. Especially if a Dom sends me a message starting it off with not a, "Hey" kind of greeting, but more of a weird scene in a bedroom kind of greeting. Like I get so completely turned off by it, it's not even funny. More often than not, I just don't even respond to them because I just don't know what to say.

I don't know. Just the ramblings of a confused girl, I assume. Shed some light please and explain why some Doms do that?


8/11/2011 1:28:50 PM

I tried, but old habits die hard.

I've started smoking again. Ugh, not only is this addiction disgusting, but it's costly. Cigarettes are practically $10 now. And the smell doesn't leave my hair or clothes for days. Don't even get me started on smoker's breath. I hate iiiiit. Jeez. I need like Nicorette or something to stop these cravings. It's like I'm sick of smoking while I'm having a cigarette but I won't willingly just toss it until it's finished.

Someone give me tips on quitting. I know it's hard but it needs to end. Asap.


8/10/2011 3:14:37 PM

Still haven't been able to get adequate sleep. Mo'-fucker. No matter, I can deal with it. I've realized it probably has something to do with my internal self telling me that I need to stop holding so many emotions back around family and friends and just let it out. I don't wanna do that for a handful of reasons. There's things that close ones just shouldn't know about.

I'm currently trying to stay awake, writing out an application to this cute sounding cafe called Sugar and Plumm and desperately holding myself back from shattering my iPod to pieces. Stupid, piece of junk. Can anyone tell me why it keeps white-screening and whenever I try to restore it to its original settings so it stops being a dick, it goes white screen again and just stops restoring. Please, inform me. Am I doing something wrong? Not loving it enough? I know it gets pretty beaten up in my purse, but to fry on me is a little extreme.


8/1/2011 2:49:48 AM

I need to stop greeting the morning. I swear my sleep cycle is more fucked up than Whitney Houston after saying something wrong in front of Bobby Brown.

Too soon?

Regardless, it's been a week now where I've been up until practically 10am. It's getting a little ridiculous now. I need to fix this somehow. If I tried to just stay awake all day until an acceptable time, like say, 9 or 10 tonight, maybe my cycle will be better. Although, I'm most likely going to crash halfway through it. Dammit. Maybe it's my body's way of telling me that all the stress in my life is actually really affecting more than I let on.

I'm pretty sure I had a therapist for that at one time.

Ah well, I'm gonna figure this out one way or another!


7/29/2011 5:57:38 PM

I cut my hair today. I swear, I could have made a rug with what was in the garbage. I learned that it's just easier cutting hair with a shaving razor instead of scissors. One, you get layers and two, it looks like messy, but neat.

Unless you like having straight ends, I wouldn't recommend the razor.

I'll post a picture soon!


7/29/2011 2:38:25 AM

So, I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've finally decided something.

I'm going to give myself a haircut.

Yes, I'm aware I'm not a professional and it might end up getting botched but hey, it's hair. It grows back. It's not like someone waking up one morning and saying, "Wow, I have this strong urge to just chop my hand off. Hey Mom? Where are the hedge clippers???" No. Completely different. Currently, my hair is about an inch past my boobs and don't get me wrong, I wanna keep it that length because I don't have the face for shorter hair (I'd end up looking like one of those scary lumberjack lesbians - no offense). Maybe I'll just layer it like there's no tomorrow. I'm thinking I want my shortest layer maybe like four or five inches long, but I don't know.

Have any of ya'll ladies cut your hair yourself? And if so, how was the end result? Also, do you have any tips on how to go about doing this? The right scissors, wet or dry hair, ect.?


7/28/2011 10:44:00 AM

Okay, this is something that really ticks me off anytime I'm on Facebook.

There's this girl I know named Jackie who's 18, has okay proportions, was REALLY into being a guidette and was alright looking. Anyway, when I first met her, she was a fun person. I liked her, thought she actually wasn't a complete bitch. But then she said something to a friend and my best friend Justine overheard it and that's when we realized how two-faced she was. Our friend John liked her and wanted to go out with her (he's a biiiig beefcake, who's sweet and adorable and unfortunately, a guido). So they did. We kept telling him that she was no good, that she was gonna hurt him. Guess what she does? Hurts him. By cheating on him. Even though before him, she was a virgin. Pack of lies. She's also banging all of John's friends. So you understand where my deep seed of resentment comes from with this little trollop.

Now for some weird reason she still thinks we like her, even though we obviously don't. We've told her that we didn't like her but I guess it didn't process through her brain. So I saw that she made a status and it said like "Why do guys, especially the one's with girlfriends, keep poking me? It's weird and annoying." Or something like that.

MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE DRESSING LIKE YOU'RE A TWENTY-FOUR YEAR OLD HOOKER AND THEY WANNA "POKE" YOU.

Jesus. Start dressing your own damn age and stop being a slut. I'm 19, do I dress with the intentions of street walking? No. It's easy. You can do the same, Jackie.

Okay, my rant is over. To sum it up: Don't fuckin' complain when all types of guys give you attention, whether you want it or not, because it's most likely because you dress like a hooker and look easy. It's your own damn fault.

Kthnxbaiii


7/22/2011 8:25:55 AM

Fuckin' spiders.

Just when I thought I was gonna get a reprieve from those stupid little baby spiders that are in like everyone's home in the summer, it gets worse. Last night I stayed over my best friend Nic's house because I didn't feel like going home. Around three, he was playing Diablo 2 and I was lounging on his bed, watching. Out of the corner of my eye I see something, but like in my mind, I'm thinking, "Oh, just my hair. No...no...that's definitely not my hair. It's moving." So I jerk away from whatever it was and brush my body and head off of whatever it could be and I turned and looked down. A giant ass mo-fuckin' spider was chillin' on Nic's blanket. Needless to say, I freak, grabbed Nic's shoe and proceeded to beat it dead. Didn't get to sleep until almost 6 in the morning because of that.

So, it's safe to assume the Spider Mafia has a hit on me.

This is also why I hate summer.


7/21/2011 1:36:30 PM

Who told God to put the Earth to 400 degrees? Today is a day where it's just too hot to do anything so I'm currently sitting in my cold room, fucking around on my laptop. One thing that came out of this day that's great: Watching Angela Anaconda on Youtube.

That show was my life when I was little. And now, I'm rewatching it. It's like I'm rewatching my childhood. Epic. Also, have any of you guys heard of G+? It's apparently going to murder Facebook like how Facebook murdered Myspace. Right now, people can only get invited. You can't make an account willy nilly. I got invited and I gotta tell ya, it's a hell of a lot better than FB. It's so simple and straightforward a baby can navigate around it. What sold me was that you can edit your status. For example:

"G+ is the best!" And if someone +1 (likes) it, you can easily edit your status to, "+1 this is you hate puppies, kittens and rainbows."

Trollin'~


7/20/2011 12:52:40 AM

It just came to my attention that apparently people are thinking I'm a man an I might be banned because of it? I'm aware this site is filled with scammers and scummy ass people, but seriously? Don't group me in with them. I was born a female and have a vagina and boobs. In fact, a few Doms on here can vouch for me considering they've MET ME before.

Stop ruining other peoples' lives because yours is shitty or that I never responded to your message. Quite frankly, I couldn't give a shit. If you have a problem with me, address me about it and not the mods of Collarme. What you're doing is really shady and underhanded and people like you won't get very far in life. Jus' sayin'. I honestly hope you do report me because then I can prove without a doubt that I am who I say I am and have people attest to the fact that I am a woman and get you in serious trouble for being dirty and completely disgusting for your slandering.


7/20/2011 12:30:13 AM

Of course a friggin' spider decides to dangle its way down above my bed when I'm about ready to go to sleep! Of-friggin'-course! UGHHH! I hate spiders, I absolutely loathe them and one decides to infiltrate my spider-free room?! Great. Now, I'm not gonna sleep at all tonight and vigorously clean my room tomorrow to make sure no other spiders decided to make my room their permanent living space.

I. WILL. NOT. SHARE. A. ROOM. WITH. A. SPIDER.

I had to sidle past it to get my hairspray and kill the bastard. Ugh, so disgusting. Now I feel like they're all over my body and I fuckin' hate that stupid heeby-jeeby feeling. Someone keep me up so I don't fall asleep and a spider crawls up my vag and lays spider eggs in iiiiiiiiit! PLEEEEEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE????


7/19/2011 3:20:28 PM

Sitting in my room, music playing from my iTunes and the A/C whirring in the background, I'm reminded that there's always some sort of peace in the world no matter what's going on outside. My dog - Reilly- just let out the cutest dog huff and plopped his heavy head on my thigh. D'aww. So adorable.

I wish life could always be this simplistic. Not having to worry about anything.

Unfortunately, that's not how things work. There's always going to be some sort of cacophony surrounding you. Which honestly, is never fair. I don't know, I'm just rambling what's in my head at the moment. Pay me no mind.


7/18/2011 2:48:55 PM

So I was thinking last night and I might just wanna try having a sub again. I'm still on the fence only because there's no doubt I'm a sub and honestly, I really wouldn't get off with a sub of my own. The biggest factor is that I'm not used to being in control at all and if I did have all the power, I wouldn't know how to use it lol it'd be bad. I'd have to call a Dom I knew and ask them for help.

Also, I'm 5'2". I'm short, so having a sub who's most likely going to be much taller than me is weird. Like just imagine me giving some giant guy orders and having to look up at him while doing so. I'm not threatening at all. I'm pretty sure I'm the least threatening person I know.

I'm just gonna mull this over for a while until I make up my mind. Either way, for a sub, I'd want a guy probably in his twenties who's close to my area and not completely ridiculous with the sub thing. Like no painwhores, no foot worshiping (I hate feet and I hate people touching my feet), no fluids of any kind besides cum and spit, ect. You know?

Ahh...whatever. I'll figure this whole thing out.

 

-Gigi


7/16/2011 9:19:30 PM

Dear Diary,

Today was friggin' sweet.

That's it.

 

-Gigi

P.S. Thomas is an ASS LANCING WHORE! :D


7/14/2011 4:01:22 PM

I was hoping that it wasn't until much later that I'd have to ink his dates in my skin. It was my third tattoo and it was the worst one. I never cried so hard like that in almost 9 years. It wasn't even because it hurt, it was just so permanent. He's never coming back. It had been so long since a death occurred in my family that it felt so foreign. I wasn't even in touch with reality. I couldn't believe it. He was the closest thing to a father that I had and then poof. Gone before I knew it.

I'm wracked with so much guilt because I never got to tell him happy birthday or happy father's day. I never got to say that I love him. I'm a horrible person for not even visiting him when he was sick. Even now, three weeks have passed and still, it feels like Mom was telling me yesterday that he was dead.

I don't want any kind of apologies, or sympathies. I just need to get shit off my chest and this is the only kind of journal I keep.

I love you Uncle Mazz. <3

-1942-2011-

 

-Gigi


7/2/2011 9:45:17 PM

Two things:

 

One, I finally got my braces off after like 7 years with them on. I now look like I'm 16 instead of 14. Yeah! I look older! :D Even though I'm 19...bitches.

 

 

Two, I got my tongue pierced liiiiike three weeks ago! I followed in my oldest brother's footsteps and got it done in the village and not tell my mom about it. Unfortunately, my family is really Italian and there are never any secrets that can be kept. Sooo my other brother told my mom and when I went home after I stopped sounding like there was a dildo in my mouth, the first words out of her mouth was, "I know what you did, Gig." She wasn't mad though, which made it funny. In fact she laughed when I brought up my oldest brother having done the same thing. I can't wait to change the ring though :D

 

Oh! I lied, I have three things to share lol

 

Three, yesterday was my birthday for the people living in the US/east coast. July 2nd :D I can buy cigarettes now! Too bad I'm quitting lol

 

That's all for now!

 

-Gigi


5/26/2011 10:11:58 PM

Whoa. Has it really been that long since I've been on here and updated shit? Pff. Damn.

 

I'm currently not owned anymore, due to his working so much. Anyway, so I've finally finished my first year of college and gotta say, it was hard. I'm trying to major in Veterinary Technology but I don't know anymore. It's ridiculous how hard it is. And all that memorizing! UGHH!!! My brain has never retained so much information before.

 

Ridic.

 

In the next few months or so, whenever I can get the money, I'll be moving to Alabama to go to JSU or AU, so if any of ya'll Doms are there, shoot me a message and tell me what it's like. I wanna know what to prepare for, being an average 18 year old girl from North Jersey with a view of the city (NYC) in her backyard.

 

Biiiiiig culture shock, I'd imagine.

 

-Gigi


12/23/2010 12:41:43 AM
I'm owned now and Sir and I were chatting last night and I asked him if it was alright if he would allow me to have a male sub. He said alright but asked why. So I responded that I'm curious to the Domme aspect of BDSM and was hoping that I would be able to see if I'm really a sub or possibly a switch. I guess I want to get a feel of it from the controlling part of it, instead of the controlled. The only exception Sir said was that I can't have sex with the male sub. Which I'm perfectly fine with.

So just message me if you're alright with all that.

-Gigi

12/14/2010 9:23:37 PM
A few new things in my life! One, my tonsils are out and my throat has never felt better (: yayyy! :D

Two, Nic moved back to Kearnnyyyyyyyy! He used to live there, until he moved out and to his aunt's house in Parsippany. But now my biffle is baaack <3333 And I don't have to kill my gas to get him anymore! Yay!!

Three, well...after 6 months of being a free bitch, I finally liked someone. He liked me first! In the previous entry, I talked about a guy I fucked for my own gains. Remember him? Yeah, that guy. Well, he asked me out that night and I turned him down gently. I was happy with that until a few days later when I realized that I liked him. Soooo I told him and I guess I told him too late because he said "I realized that I don't want to be in a relationship and get hurt."

I never drunkenly cried so much in my life. Sober crying is different. Compleeeetely different.

So, I was hurt. And upset. And pretty much every emotion I can think of. But now I'm over it. We don't talk anymore.

I still think about him though. Which sucks.

Anyway, that's pretty much it I guess. Time to go back to studying for my finallll <33

-Gigi

11/27/2010 2:20:17 PM

Don't you hate it when some sort of guy crisis comes up and you realize deep down you like that person even though you REALLY don't want to and then to prove it, you go stay at a different guy's house, which this guy likes you A LOT, and then you fuck him and wake up with next morning filled with shame because you most likely made him like you even more and when he gives you a "good morning" kiss, it tears you up because you used him for your gains?

Yeah. I hate that too.

 

-Gigi


11/20/2010 3:26:43 PM

It's a sad day when your mom can bribe you into getting blood taken...with a McDonald's breakfast. Now, I'm not one to eat fast foods, but occasionally like, once a month I indulge. And it just so happens that my favorite would be the Egg McMuffin from McDonald's. I hate just about everything else from there. So when I was begging and negotiating my way out with her to let me leave the room and almost bolting, it seems she HAD to pull out the big guns and say "Gigi, I swear to you, if you don't say anything and DON'T BREAK MY HAND, I'll get you and Nic McDonald's breakfast."

I did try to be silent and good. But when that needle went into my skin all I could hear in my mind was curse words that'd make a sailor blush. In fact, it'd make anyone blush. I did squirm around a bit...too much. The nurse had to stick me three times to get the blood because of my...uhm, hesitation? Wariness? Unease? Trepidation?

Whatever the case may be, I wasn't too fond of it.

After it was over, the nurse gave me a Bugs Bunny band aid and then Mom got us McDonald's. Needless to say, I was content.

 

-Gigi

 

Btw, 9 more days until my Tonsillectomy!


11/16/2010 4:20:14 PM

Yeah! I'm excited! Monday the 29th at 7:30 in the morning, I'm getting my tonsils removed. :D I've dreamed about this day for so long and now that it's here...

Well...

I'm a little worried.

Actually, I'm apprehensive.

No, I strike that. I'm freaking out.

What if I wake up during the surgery? What if something happens and they can't stop the bleeding?

Oh jeez!

For those of you who had your tonsils removed, do you remember anything you did to calm yourself down before the procedure?

 


11/7/2010 9:54:29 PM

Well. That settles it. I quit. I've tried all that ya'll have suggested to me, but not even ice seems to help. Although, coincidentally, I did find out that I can eat (force) ice pops and (scarf down) lettuce. (I'm like a rabbit!) Which in itself is an odd spectrum.

I'll be happy to inform you though that slowly my throat is getting better thanks to those crazy Superman antibiotics. In fact I finished off one prescription already! Two more to go....ehh....Wednesday is my appointment and hopefully then I'll find out when they'll be scheduling my surgery date to get my tonsils removed. :D It still hurts when I sneeze though...really bad.

Anyway, thank you all for the suggestions and advice! It made me feel really happy that ya'll actually took the time to read my journals. :D

 

-Gigi

P.S. This entry probably seems all over the place right? Well that's cause I'm just writing what I think as I think it.


11/5/2010 10:14:05 AM

I AM UPSET!

And yes, the use of Caps was necessary. I apparently have a "resistant strain" of Strepp Throat. That means that normal antibiotics won't work. No, they had to give me the "big heavy duty guns" of the anitbiotic world. On the warning it tells you that there might be BLOOD in your stool. THAT'S. NOT. A. GOOD. THING.

Anyway, my current diet of water and pills is torture. Anytime I try to eat something, not even heavy things, just like apple sauce or chicken broth or fuck, even just apple juice, my tonsils burn so much that I start to cry. It's bad. Thankfully though, I'm going to an appointment on Wednesday where they most likely will take blood samples...-shivers- and then then next day or a few days after, I'll probably be getting my tonsils removed! :D Like, you have no idea how excited I am. I've dreamt of this day since I was little. It's like a goal in life. The reason behind that is because on a normal day, when I have no sore throat or anything, my tonsils are already the size of golf balls so you can only imagine when they're swollen.

They touch. -__-'

Last night, my doctor looked at them and his first reaction was "God DAMMNIIIT! Can you even breathe?!"

THAT'S NOT SOMETHING YOU WANNA HEAR FROM A DOCTOR!

To end my pathetic rambling, my question for ya'll is when you have a sore throat and it hurts to eat anything, what do you tend to gravitate towards?

 

-Gigi


10/31/2010 12:18:10 PM

I'm alone it seems. Literally and figuratively. Coquette is off with a guy she really likes and Nic is also off with a guy he really likes. And me? Well, I'm still at the house, working on an essay for my writing class and listening to the depressing Taylor Swift songs from her new album Speak Now. The essay involved me reliving an experience or place that I had to describe in vivid detail. I chose a moment in my life where I felt like the happiest girl in the world and then have that happiness just crushed a day later.

While typing it, I realized that no matter what, I'm going to be alone. Coquette and Nic have people they can be happy with and what do I have? A teddy bear, this journal and my dog to comfort me. Tell me how pathetic that is. I understand my commitment issues aren't helpful, but they don't overrun my life to a point that I can't be in a relationship for over a week. I want that security and the feeling of knowing that I'll always have someone to go to if I have a problem. And yes, Coquette and Nic are always there for me, but sometimes you just need to hear the advice from someone a little more special to you.

I don't know. Maybe it's just my ramblings. Am I alone here on this thought?

 

-Gigi


10/24/2010 6:23:27 PM

Oh Coquette, I see right through your shenanigans. And because of that, you know what's gonna happen? NO IPOD FOR YOU! I will keep it until I feel you're mature enough to use it. Also, I'm still sick. I had a cough for a couple weeks now and this morning my body was like, "Hey, I'ma gonna sneak some achy muscles and a fever up on ya! MUAHAHAHAHA!" And now, I'm sitting in my warm house, freezing my ass off because I'm cold because of my fever.

Bitch move body, bitch move.

Anyway, I haven't had much time to Journal so I'm gonna tell you a story. A Ke$ha story. Involving Coquette and our friend Nic...and abandoned train tracks. And vodka. And...anyway, as I was saying, it started off like any other night, I had just called Nic to let him know that I was coming to pick him up. Of course, I pick up Coquette first. Because of that, Nic was like "You better make up for the hour and a half that I've been waiting for you." And so I said, "Nic, listen. This is going to make up for that and then some. We're drinking tonight."

To which he responds with an outburst of joy. I laughed and proceeded to call Coquette to let her know of the alcohol. She too responded with an outburst of joy. After I grabbed them both, we went to a parking lot which, if you walked through a little dirt path through the trees, you'll find the tracks. They took you far down, maybe half a mile, and opened up to a small bridge area, which was were everyone was. And by everyone, I mean three other people. Nic's nickname for them: "Hatty", "Spicky" and "Hairy." We all took a shot of vodka and then began drinking screwdrivers (which, by the way, the orange juice is STILL there). After making out with each other (the irony is Nic's gay) and making out with me, Coquette and Nic both were drunk before I was and they both puked and fell asleep on the tracks for a while. I, however, was much more productive. I hooked up with every person there. When we were all good and shitfaced, we decided it was time to leave, mostly because Nic was crying cause he thought he was going to die and Coquette was consoling him.

 We all laid down in my car for a while, until it was about 4:30 in the morning. Then I said, "I'm driving. I'm the most sober one here." We drove to my house, which I'm proud to say, safely. After we all got inside, we made a makeshit bed on the floor and just conked out. Although, Spicky and I hooked up most of the night to even try and sleep. At around 7:30-8:00, Nic woke up and went into the bathroom. He was missing for an hour. We all worried until we found him passed out on the bathroom floor. When he came back out, he didn't say anything, just grabbed a pillow and went back into the bathroom. Later, we'll come to find that he slept in the bath tub. Just like Ke$ha. From what he says, apparently my bath tub is really comfortable.

Anyway, that's my story to sum it up. There's more to it, but I don't remember much.

-Gigi


10/23/2010 7:15:09 PM

This is TheCoquette:

Just like how Gigi left her FL account on while I was around, she was also careless enough to leave on her CollarMe. I'm invading her journal to see how long it takes for her to notice that I wrote in it. If you also want to screw around with her, tell her something like "nice journal" but then be really ambiguous as to what journal it is.

Later kinky people,

TheCoquette


10/16/2010 7:27:17 AM
This morning I woke up Coquette by being a creeper and leaning really close into her face, both our stale, sick breaths mingling, and said in a low, whisper, "Good morning starshine, the earth says hello." To which she furrowed her eyebrows and went, "You're such a creep." But my desired affect worked. She woke up. -Gigi *One should note, we are not a bi couple but we are the female equivalent to a bromance.

10/15/2010 11:46:07 AM
Do you all remember on Christmas day when all you could think about was waking up on a snowy morning, memories of what day it was surfacing to the fore-front of your mind and quickly jumping out of bed, inadvertently waking the family dog and said family with your excitement? Do you also remember running down those stairs (or out into the hallway if you had a ranch house/apartment) and coming to a stop in front of that glorious tree with those almost delicious presents underneath? And don't forget the rush of adrenaline you had tearing into the closest wrapped box, expecting a new jump rope or the My Little Pony that just came out that you wanted so bad...only to discover in disdain, it was just a pair of socks from your Aunt Sue. Now, not to say this was a true story, which it easily could be, but I feel this is a good way to parallel my feelings for CM. -Gigi

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 Age: 25
 New york, New York