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NoxRaven

NoxRaven - photo 1

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Greetings, I never really know what to say on these things without sounding a bit long winded. I'll try to keep that down to a minimum. I've been in the lifestyle for many years. I've made a study of the philosophical and psychological aspects of it. Every day I consider to be a learning experience. Only a fool claims to know it all. I am looking for one that is willing and ready to walk the path with me. By that I mean beside me. Not in front of me or behind me. I won't say that I'm completely into the mental aspects only. However, in my view, to bind the body and the senses is easy. The rest..not so much. I would be happy to speak with anyone further about it or about any other topic that may come to mind.

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2/28/2017 7:08:44 PM

What does one do when the pieces of what is fall through the fingers and become what was?

It is a question that no one wishes to have to ask themselves. Yet in this lifestyle, it is an all too frequent an occurrence no matter how unfortunate. We strive to keep that which we keep gripped tightly in our hands. Only to see it vanish like smoke on a breeze.

Of course, doubts arise on such occasions. Even as Dominants or Masters we have doubts. We are not perfect by any means. Most of the time we simply do not show our thoughts or emotions on such things. Yet in our private moments and in the depths of our mind these doubts and questions arise.

While yes the arguments are made and things said such as. "The two were not compatible." Or "You were not walking the same path." Or the obvious of "It was not meant to be." and "These things just happen."

These pat and indifferent answers do not assuage or make the doubts irrelevant We ask ourselves. "Was there something more I could have done? Did I try to approach it from every angle possible? What I clear enough in my words and meaning when I spoke?" All of these and more go through our minds. We are not infallible as Dominants. We make mistakes, we screw up. We have doubts every step of the way on the journey. Not about any one thing or that we doubt the relationship is a true one. We look at ourselves in the mirror of our own mind and we ask. "Am I able to carry not just my own weight, but the weight of the one in my collar? Am I strong enough to do so?" These are only a couple of the large list of questions we ask ourselves on sometimes a daily basis.

Yet when all is said and done. When ways must be parted and we must pick up what is left and carry on. Where do we lay the blame if there is any to be put? When does the mind finally accept that nothing more could be done and that there was nothing left to accomplish for either person other than anger, heartache, and grief?

I think I've rambled on enough for the moment. These have been my thoughts as of late and I thought I would share them as food for thoughts of your own.


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violetteeyes
 
 Age: 24
 San Diego, California