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Once again, we put our own selfish needs before the children. this started out about them, then turned into our squabbling and our buttons being pushed. it was suppose to be about them, not us.
There is no doubt, that we are not capable of hearing one another. if we were , i think you might of heard that i am not negotiating with you, but attempting, on the advice of sean, to see how far apart we are in coming to an agreement. maybe i should have told you that. do you think, you would have heard me? more importantly, what did i not hear
We seem to squabble a lot about trust issues. Here is my take on trust
Trust has to be earned : I don't think either one of us ever earned that
Trust can not be tricked: I think, I often went this route
Trust can not be broken twice: We have two more chances to attempt this very difficult task.
I know you are being advised no contact. I have been told the same.
I need to know that you want to do therapy and this is not the same game, her played with mediating.
You had your individual therapy and so did I. Now it's time we have it together. we cant go backwards and repair anything. But we can move forward so that our children feel safe. anytime a car comes down the driveway, all eyes are watching to see who it is. I need my children to feel safe in their home. I need to feel safe in my home.
I am going to need help with the kids, and myself, I am asking you for that help.
I would like for you to consider working towards a friendship, for now.
The time has come to acknowledge the hurt our misdeeds has created and look towards making positive steps to making amends. Blaming, self pity and avoiding each other are indulgences we can not afford .
Let's agree to disagree on who caused the pain first.
Let's agree we BOTH caused pain to one another
Let's agree we Both caused pain to our children
Lets agree we Both still put ourselves ahead of our children.
Let's try to agree we both want our children to feel safe, loved by both of us and wanted by both of us.
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