Collarspace.com

NoirUMC

NEW AND IMPROVED!

...profile, that is. I think this is my first update since sometime in the middle of college. Personally, I don't think much has changed. Even my photo is still accurate. Except someone actually stole that hat so I'd stop wearing it.

I have a new job, new place, and a new hobby (not that I've kicked any of the old ones), but I'm basically the same, sadistic asshole I was a few years ago.

Maybe now I'm less of a perfectionist. Or lazier. But my car is cleaner now, and my profile has fewer lame jokes in it. (We're not counting the one at the beginning.)

I used to think my tastes would mellow with age, but that doesn't seem to be the case. I'm still looking for a crazy kind of woman--a lady who knows what she wants and how much she can handle.

Ideally, that should involve a lot of pain, degradation, and dominance.

And puns. I've been restraining myself for this profile, but I can't keep it up for long.

[Pun deleted by management.]

See?
10/1/2010 5:17:48 PM

Well, I've just had a pleasant surprise. I set the "max age" slider to a substantially higher number than I normally do (up in the "old enough to be my mother" range) and made a discovery: some of these women simply look great.

Yes, I know, everyone else already knew this from seeing Hollywood actresses who never age, but I always kinda assumed that was fake.

Seems I have much to look forward to.

9/28/2010 10:14:20 PM
What's with this fad lately where instead of simply ignoring you the women here will go out of their way to be jerks? I thought that was -my- job. Once upon a time, a silent delete was enough, or maybe an understated, "Not interested." But not anymore; these days we've progressed to insults and caustic wit. It's enough to make me think seriously about the amount of effort I'm willing to expend on a simple "hello." Expect form letters in the future.
8/4/2010 9:10:52 PM
I love it when people take it upon themselves to decide you're lying when they have no basis whatsoever for believing so.
7/5/2010 9:03:05 PM
So I come back from vacation to see that no less than five lovely young ladies have ogled me over the past few days. How nice to be the center of attention. :P
7/21/2009 1:48:10 PM
So, having observed the type and frequency of grammar errors in more recent crops of new profiles--and also the late rush of profiles in which purportedly American women give their weight in what simply MUST be kilograms instead of pounds--I can only imagine this place is being overrun by spammers. Or do they actually teach metric in schools these days?
9/10/2008 7:58:27 PM
So, who else thinks they could totally kick the Alien Invaders game's ass if it weren't for the fact that they keep realizing this is the internet and they have better stuff to do?
9/12/2007 11:11:12 AM
My name is entirely unrelated to the Marine Corps. I've got nothing against 'em, but the name reads UMC, not USMC. It's a meaningless gathering of letters without any innate meaning unless you count the box I read it from when I made up my name. I've been considering changing it because of the increasing number of misunderstanding that have occurred as a result, but... It's come to have a little significance for me. -sheepish grin-
8/21/2007 7:07:07 PM
Sometimes I find it odd that so many people here try to downplay the sexual aspect of looking for someone. I mean, sure, I'm not just looking for a fuck, so I'm looking for a *person* I can connect with, too... But if all I wanted was a person, I wouldn't waste my time here, would I? Hell, I know where I can find a few coffee shops. ;) Sexual compatibility is a major part of the conversation here--at least if you're seeking what I'm seeking. Any chick who's in denial of that? I'll probably just admit I'm wasting my time. :)
8/6/2007 6:29:45 PM
Just read a journal entry that said, "I deleted all my messages. If you really meant it, send it again. This way I don't hafta put up with all the guys who just sent the same message to everyone." Or words to that effect. Question for this person: who has an easier time sending messages--the guy who sent the same one-liner to everyone, or the guy you want to hear from? Which of those guys just wasted more time sending you a message? Just a thought.
8/1/2007 3:21:00 PM
New and improved! Now gainfully employed following several months of searching. Hooray!
6/17/2007 1:04:49 AM
Is it wrong to cringe when you see someone use the word "dominate" when they mean "dominant"?
6/17/2007 12:13:21 AM
"Hi. I disappeared from your life completely four months ago without so much as a word. I hit my head today and I'm all drugged up and high and bored so I thought I'd drop you a line."

She has no idea why I'm not thrilled to hear from her.
6/14/2007 4:27:16 AM
Oh! Thought I'd mention that I had a birthday. I'm now 23 rather than 22. Age has been updated accordingly.
6/13/2007 2:48:21 PM
I gotta admit... one of the problems I have with the whole idea of a 'munch' is the fact that the word makes no sense. What's it mean? Why's it called that anyway?
6/12/2007 12:25:42 AM
Quoted from a source that shall remain nameless: "Come on now! 20 years old and a Master? Give me a break! It takes years of training to consider yourself with this title!" I wouldn't give a second thought to this, but it's from the journal of someone who--according to their own profile--was less than twenty years old herself. I have not contacted this person and do not intend to. I do, however, have a question for those of you who read: is it genuinely so much more difficult to be a responsible "master" than to be a pleasing "slave"? Can an individual with next to zero experience serve with distinction even while a person with the same level of experience is not worth serving? 
6/11/2007 12:22:43 AM
People really are worthless pieces of shit. This world is full of individuals who fail to see others as being human. Do you understand what this means? Do you understand how fucking disgusting this is? Go ahead. Nod your head. Act like you agree. Now go treat someone like shit, just like you always do. You're one of the people I'm complaining about.
6/4/2007 2:33:37 PM
I was looking at the "Who's Viewing Me" list. pretty much every pink name on it has a profile that starts with the words, "I'm not looking." :)
5/31/2007 2:01:33 AM
Oddly enough, I'm still not convinced that women of the sort I'm looking for do not exist. However, I'm becoming increasingly certain that I'm looking in the wrong place. I feel like the Nazis in Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark.
4/17/2007 9:46:53 AM
On second thought, I've decided that I'd like to have a CM account that matches the e-mail address I currently use. And as my e-mail address has changed recently (the spam-monster caught up with the old one),
this seemed a perfect opportunity to start fresh in both cases. I'm still who I was, complete with grammar and spelling and punctuation. Just labelled differently. (Note the older spelling of the word "labelled." The double consonant is something that's fading away in the current era. That does make sense to some extent, as if that rule applied to every word one would think that "spelling" would be a form of the word "spel." But don't make the mistake of thinking that anything about English is supposed to be sensible.)
ekaywillplease
 
 Age: 26
 Nyc, New York