Okay.  I guess, by now, pretty much everyone on CM knows about the coup d'etat that took place yesterday?  Well, at least those who use the message boards/forums will know about it.  

Oh wow, I was going to put a link in my journal to the new FL group where CM users are gathering, but this site won't allow it.  IF I can squeak out the name of the group it's called Those in Exile.

I have news!!  I have reconnected with NorthernTsar, a submissive gentleman I was with before.  We had parted ways mostly due to bad communication issues I think.  

As it turns out, in the interim he has started seeing another Domme, Mistress65, who lives in his home state of Alaska.  So, now, I am sharing him with her, or she is sharing him with me, whichever way you want to look at it.  Most of the year he resides in Alaska and is with her and he is in my home state of Washington less often.  So he is with her up in AK and with me when he is down here in WA.  It works for all of us.

WooHoo!!  I am HAPPY!!!

You know, I'm not sure what the deal is but this former play partner of mine looks at my profile every so often and, when I write to him to ask how he's doing, I will check my Sent Mail and the letters never get sent to him.  He must block me from contacting him so I can only wonder why he continues to check out my profile.

What is wrong with some people?!?  

I make a point in my profile of saying things that are important to me, such as what age parameters I use when I'm searching (40 to mid-60s) and that I don't EVER do online-only, things that will make a difference in whether we're compatible or not.  

Then along comes some nitwit who's clearly 27, 32, or something similar and he gets all whiny and verbally abusive when I tell him he's too young and that I won't date someone who's younger than my own kids(35 and 33).  Or someone in Bumfuck, Egypt, will write and practically beg to be my cam slave.  What part of "I don't EVER do online-only" don't you understand?

Now, I'm a pretty easy-going person most of the time but, it's not my fault if someone chooses not to read my profile first and he gets all butthurt  when I won't make a wide-ranging exception to my search criteria just for him.  I'm always gentle at first and say something to the effect of "Thank you for writing to me, but you are way too young for me(way too far away from me and I don't do online-only), but the best of luck in finding what you are searching for."  Everything would be cool if they would just accept that but, no, they have to get angry.

I'm not heartless and, yes, I realize that, for male submissives, it really can be a dog-eat-dog world out there.  There are so many more male subs than there are female dominants.  But listen up, guys, choosing to write to someone when it's obvious you don't fit into her clearly stated search criteria/personal preferences is just increasing your chances of getting shot down and disappointed.  Why do people do that to themselves?

It's been quite awhile since I made a journal entry, so here goes...

Well, I had a birthday a couple days ago.  I'm 56 now but what is that supposed to feel like?  I still feel great,  I actually feel better than I did in my 30s.

As of today, since my gastric-bypass surgery on September 16 two and a half months ago, I've lost 48 lbs!  WooHoo!!  I have a certain lbs mark that is my next goal I'm shooting for and I'm only seven lbs away from that right now.  As the saying goes, it's so close I can almost taste it.  lol  

Well, I've been doing a lot of thinking about my D/s role(s).  My default setting is "Domme" but I also have a "little" in me.  She is not submissive at all in the adult submissive sense so she would not take very well to being Dommed....at all. She does have a Daddy, but Daddy/girl and Dom/sub are two separate things.  A Daddy doesn't have to be a Dom to his little, it just so happens that most of the time that's what happens, but it doesn't have to.  

At one time, I was going to call myself a switch in order to explain both my Domme and little selves, BUT I decided that, since my little is not submissive at all in the adult sense, it would just be misleading and create more questions than it answered.  So the switch label is not an option.  It's easier to just explain that my default setting is Domme and that I also am little sometimes and I bottom for certain sensations at times also, while retaining my Dominance.  Bottoming and retaining my Dominance is different than submitting and giving up my personal power to another.

I'm still looking for a submissive gentleman.  He should be between 40 and his mid-60s in age and he should live within reasonable traveling distance of me.  I do not do online-only, and I mean I don't EVER do it.  I'd like to be able to share vanilla and kinky times with him, and to have D/s both inside and outside of the bedroom.  I'd like for him to accompany me sometimes to munches and play parties too so, if he is unable to be seen at kink events, that's going to be a problem.

Well, now, my play partner of four years announced he is moving back to the East Coast so now I am without him also.  That means I am officially totally single, no partner(s) of any kind right now.

I am looking of course but I know that, to find the right one, it will take time.  And that will all depend on the ability to be friends first, having common interests, attraction, chemistry and, of course, honesty and trust among other things.  

We will need to be within reasonable driving distance of one another also and it needs to be real time, not online only or long-distance.  It sure sounds like I'm asking for a lot.  I really do think I'm being reasonable though.

Yes, I am looking for a submissive.  My previous submissive and I mutually agreed to part ways, as I said in a previous journal entry. 

I'm looking for a male submissive who's between about 45 to 65 years old, who is not in a monogamous relationship with someone else.  He will be within traveling distance of me also.  That means our dynamic will not be online-only or long-distance, as neither one works for me.  We'll both have our own residences as I'm terrible at living with someone else, but we will be together when we want to be and not when we don't.  I hope that makes sense.

I am hoping for someone who can go to munches and sloshes with me and an occasional play party also.  I'm very active in the local BDSM community and hope my partner can be also.  I go to munches, sloshes, discussion groups, play parties, and other assorted kinkster functions as they come up.  He will want more than just kinky sex.  Not that there's anything wrong with kinky sex, but I want more than that.

Eventually, as time goes by, I hope there will be affection between us also, as I'm hoping ultimately for a complete relationship with my submissive, as well as having a D/s power exchange dynamic with him.  Of course, the love and affection will take time to develop.  I believe a complete relationship that includes D/s power exchange and love and affection can be had, given the necessary time.  

If you are at all interested, please write to me and tell me more.  I would love to hear from you.  :)

Why, oh why, can't people read my profile?  It very clearly says "I'm looking for a real time submissive, within traveling distance, who is approximately 45 to 65 years of age.  He should not be in a monogamous relationship with someone else.  Online-only and long-distance where I see him only a few times a year will not work, I've discovered that already."

I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings or make them feel bad, but when a 20something or 30something writes to me, or someone who wants long-distance or online-only writes to me, I'm forced to remind them of what my profile actually says.  I'm sorry, but those people are just not in my search parameters and I'm very clear on what I want and don't want.  If people would read my profile before they write to me they would know that.  That being said, best of luck to everyone in their searches.

I just let my submissive go tonight.  I really did care a lot for him and it saddens me greatly.  But, it was for the best I think.  

It was to where we were seeing each other every, say, eight months or so.  And there was nothing for sure about when we'd see each other the next time either.  

He lives in AK and I live in WA, so it's not like we lived in the same town, but every eight months is just....NOT enough.  The nice part of it, if there is one, is that every time a relationship ends, I find out more about myself and what I'm looking for when it does.

I don't know what's going on w/ collarchat these days.  Sometimes it just won't let me log into it.  There's no pattern to it either, just sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't, it just goes willy nilly on me every so often.  That does kind of suck because the forums are where I spend most of my time on CM.  I'm no longer "looking," so I don't spend that much time on the profile side, except to keep in touch with friends via cmail.

I am so so much looking forward to Spring.  That's when I get to see NorthernTsar again.  He's snowbound in Alaska right now and he said Springtime in Alaska comes around April, that's the soonest I can hope to see him down this way.  I am soooooo looking forward to that. 

You know, I never thought I'd say this, but....I like my feet!  To say that is a big deal for me, I never thought I'd ever say that.  They are big and wide, but they are mine and I like them.  I'm on another kink site, FL, and I started a thread in a foot fetish group asking if there was anyone out there that likes "not-so-dainty feet?"  There were all sorts of yes! answers.  That made me feel so good!  I never dreamed in a million years that someone would find my big feet sexy, but now I'm not so self-conscious about my 13.5W feet.  So I'm going to spiff them up some...soak them, lotion them, and paint my toenails.  :)

Well, I've been dating a wonderful man and we've decided to continue on and have a D/s relationship with each other.  I have a submissive now.  Did I already say he's wonderful?  :)  He's smart, handsome, fun to be around, I'm totally comfortable with him, he's a perfect gentleman, and just plain....WOW.  So many other things too, but I just can't put them into words.  Right now, we are long-distance from each other but we do see each other every so often.  Since he is in my life, I am no longer "looking."  

WoooooHoooooo!!!!!  I am sooooooo happy!!!  :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A3yCcXgbKrE

  

Wow, I had spanked and cropped the ass of a friend's slave, something she regularly allows me to do at the play parties and he loves it.  Then something new happened at the one last Saturday night before I left.  I was just getting ready to leave, and her slave whispered in my ear, "I'd like to lick your feet before you go."  Of course, he had asked her for permission to do that beforehand.

 My oh my.  What a compliment coming from a foot fetishist that wasn't my own sub/slave.  I was SO flattered!  So I sat down on the couch, he took my shoes off for me(I wasn't wearing any socks) and got down to business.  First, he took a foot in each hand and put them soles to his chest.  Then he lifted them up and licked them, each in turn, along the soles and along each side.  Then he nibbled them at the ball of each foot behind the toes.  After that, he pressed one against each cheek, hugging his face with my feet.  Finally, he put them to his nose and breathed in deeply.  After he was finished, he told me they were delicious, he thanked me, and placed my shoes on my feet again.

Then his Mistress pointed at his crotch and kind of laughed.  He had a huge and massively hard woody in his pants.  So I said "See what a pair of strange feet will do to you?" and  winked.  He got so embarrassed he was beet red.  lol  He is SUCH a nice guy and I was SO flattered that he would do that for me, as normally he just does her feet.

I have to say, it DID tickle at first and I jumped a little bit.  lol  But I'm sure I could really get used to that.  I'm sure, after it was done a few times and I got used to it, it wouldn't tickle so.

So that was my new experience.  I always wondered what that would feel like, and now I know.  ;)

Why do male Doms write to Dommes and expect us to switch for them, like each of them is a special little snowflake and they expect we will make an exception for just them.  Would THEY switch for US?  Not very likely.  Well I won't switch either.

Well, my roommate has moved out and I am now living alone again with my cat.  And oh how I'm loving it!!  I am SO loving it.  It's so tranquil and serene around here now.  I think this place was just too small for two people, no matter how good they got along.  I'm really enjoying my personal space.  :)

Something happened yesterday that just caused something to snap in me.  It hit me all of a sudden after this occurrence.  From that point on, I'm going to be like a mother bear with any submissive of mine.  I'll be damned if anyone is going to put a sub of mine in danger or take advantage of him/her. Fuck with my sub and you fuck with me.  Do you really want to do that???  I thought not.

Can you believe the ridiculous things we get in our inboxes?  This really shows what's most important to this guy....even BEFORE he says "Hi" he's totally wanking.  This is the entire letter, verbatim, except I changed the name to something generic.  That is NOT his real name.  *rolls eyes*

From: StupidXXX

Dated: 3/11/12  3:40 AM

swm 50 NJ here, new to sub side, think you can make me jack n slap my cock, and make me eat the cum (i never ate my cum before) HI

My answer to his question is, (1)I don't want to, period, and (2)not from across the country.  *rolls eyes again*  I left the letter as is, other than his name, because there's no way anyone could tell who he is with his name changed anyway. 

Thank GOD/DESS for the with-it nice guys that also write to me.  This guy I quoted here just make the with-it nice guys all that much more impressive to me and I'm so glad I hear from some of them.

NBMG

I've never tried to make it a secret that I am the same person who used to be under the username Hisprettybaby and had a switch profile before I created this one.  The reason I changed usernames is, I started out as a sub & then became a switch.  Now I've become totally Domme and discovered my sadistic side, so I wanted a new name to go with my new role.  

But CM doesn't allow me to change names without creating a whole new profile, so that's exactly what I did.  I created this one.  For some reason, CM is not deleting the old one I had before even though I asked them to way back in November 2011, and I'm not sure why.  Maybe not deleting old profiles even though they've been asked to inflates their membership numbers and makes it look better or something.  I don't know. 

But, someone wrote to the Hisprettybaby profile, which I hardly ever check anymore but I did because I got a notification in my personal e-mail, and asked if it was a fake profile.  It's not.  It's just an old profile that I wish they'd get rid of because I don't like having multiple profiles.

Okay.  My partner & I went to an after-party this last Saturday night.  It was really cool and all, except there was one thing that really bothered me.  

A very good friend of ours, who is a master at ropework, came over to our apartment and tutored me on some basic knots and ties.  I'd asked someone to be my stand-in rope bottom since I don't have a sub at this time, and he had fun too.  Then afterward we all had coffee and some interesting conversation, as well as "show and tell" about what's in all our toybags.  lol  I feel much better about my ropework abilities now.  I may not be a master at it, but I can do some basic ropework that is both functional and pretty, and that's what I'm after.

We also looked at the apartment and we all decided that a lot of my furniture are actually "pervertibles."  lol  The recliner and the love seats would make excellent spanking/flogging benches and a person could be tied in bondage to the room divider between the kitchen and living room areas.  Also, in the bedroom, the bed has O-rings screwed into each corner.....perfect for bondage.  hehe  There're also two chairs that'd be great for tying people to.

C'mon guys.  When you write to me....say something, for crying out loud. Give me something to go on here.  I know that, in my profile, I say "...by all means drop me a line.  However, 'hello' and nothing else might not get you a reply."  I just double-checked to make sure it's there and it is.  

Whenever I get a cmail in my Inbox, before I even begin to read the letter, I look at the sender's profile and read the whole thing.  I want to find out something about the person writing to me.  Especially if the profile is nearly blank, all I have to go on is what you write in your letter.  If all you say is "Hi.  How are you?" then that tells me nothing.  Say something, anything, to pique my interest enough to make me want to write back.  Chances are that, like my profile says, "Hello" and nothing else will not get you a reply.

It’s a warm and beautiful summer evening and we’re going for a walk in the woods. The air is fresh and we can smell the trees and all the other forest scents. The twigs and such snap under our feet as we walk. I say “Come here, I want to show you something” and we walk a little further. “There’s a little spot I’d like to show you.” We arrive at our destination. Unknown to you, I’ve come here earlier and hidden my toy bag and supplies among the fallen branches and ferns, so they will be at the ready.

We stop, lean on my favorite tree and we kiss for a bit. Then I tell you to strip and wrap your arms around the tree trunk and you do. I get some white cotton rope out of my toy bag and secure you by the wrists with it. I bite you on the ear and you startle a bit. “Your MINE” I say. “I own you.” I start to massage your shoulders with my strong fingers and you begin to relax, leaning onto the tree. I reach into my toy bag and pull out a flogger, slowly dragging the suede falls across your back. Half the falls are braided with knots on the end and the other half are plain. You shut your eyes and just feel. Thwap. I hit you with the suede, gently at first to warm you up. Thwap. Thwap!! You moan as the intensity increases. I grab you by the hair and kiss you on the lips, checking to see how you feel and you smile. I feel your skin and it’s warming up nicely. I continue to flog you and you gasp as my flogger meet your back. Your moans and squeals of delight fill the air. Whack!! I flog you harder. You push your butt toward me. Whack! Whack!! I hit you on the ass cheeks with the flogger. Then I start to slow down and stop. I rub your back and then kiss you again.

I get my wooden paddle out of the bag and, when it meets with your ass cheeks, you twitch a little as you didn’t expect it. I spank you until your ass cheeks are a nice rosy shade of pink. Then I lay down the paddle and put some lube on my gloved fingers, slip one into your ass and work it, then two fingers, then three as your ass relaxes and loosens a bit. I grab you by the hair as I whisper in your ear “I’m going to fuck you like the little bitch you are.” “Yes Ma’am” you say.

I drop my pants to reveal the strap-on harness I’m already wearing, grab the dildo portion out of my bag and put it on. I slather more lube on your ass and press the tip of my cock onto your hole, easily entering you. Your muscles twitch and relax to accommodate it. I reach around and rub your nipples. They begin to harden and you moan contentedly. I bite that special spot on the side of your neck and, as I thrust faster, I grab your now-erect nipples between my nails and I pinch them….first softly and then harder. Your moans and screams fill the forest but I know you’re a huge masochist and you’re loving every bit of it. I pinch your nipples and fuck your ass harder with my strap-on. My strap-on has a vibrator that rests against my clit and I can feel the tension building. As my cock massages your prostate, your own cock begins to harden. You thrust your ass up to meet me and that vibrator presses hard against my clit. I feel the waves of impending orgasm wash over me and I moan as I spasm to release. I withdraw my cock from your ass, wrap it in a towel and put in in the toy bag.

I grab a soft blanket from the supplies I have and spread it out on the ground. Then I untie the rope around your wrists and say “Come over here and lie down” so you do. I climb above you and we 69. As your face is buried in my pussy, I’m sucking and nibbling at your cock. I can feel the tension building again and you do also. You’re very hard and now throbbing. I squirt on you and howl as I cum. I can sense you’re very close also, so I replace my mouth with my hand on your cock. You spurt your hot cum several times into my hand and then I tell you “Lick it clean,” so you do. I kiss you again and then we cuddle on the blanket for awhile, sipping and nibbling at the snacks I’ve brought along for just this moment in time.

Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving.  I did.  :)

I must live at the end of the earth!  lol  Because there are really NOT very many people writing to me here that are local to me.  If I were into online only, I'd have WAY more than I could possibly handle, but I'm not into that.  I'm looking for a sub that I can touch, smell, feel, see and all that in real life.  Without all that, there is so much missing.  Talking on the phone and seeing someone on cam is just not the same at all.  The thing is, with online only, there really wouldn't be any REAL D/s except in each party's own mind.  I realize there are people that are totally great w/ online and that's cool....for them....but it just does not work for me.

To be fair, there are people that say they're willing to relocate.  That's cool and all, but I would want to have some realtime face-to-face meetings first to see how we click or not in real life and to find out whether or not there's any real live interest or chemistry.  I would not want someone to move over this way without that, only to find out that it was not going to work in reality.  I'd feel awfully bad about that.  Also there is the issue that I have a modest income and could not afford to finance a move.  I also live in a less-than-large apartment with my also Dominant partner so there would be no way we could have someone stay here temporarily either.

I had a fun night last night.  We went to a play party and, although I don't have a sub at present, another friend showed up who was in bad need of some flogging.  I'd promised him one whenever he wanted to collect, so he did.  I flogged the crap out of him and then he asked a little later if I'd like to spank him, so I did.  Boy, his ass was red still this morning.  Fun was had by one and all.  lol

Well, I had a perfectly fantabulous afternoon.  I have a sub guy friend who doesn't have a Domme right now.  He's actually more of a do-me sub type guy, BUT he likes pain and I was itching to hear someone scream.  So the other day we set it up and he came over today.  I made him scream.....a lot.  :)  Oh yes, the sweet sound of screams in the afternoon.  It was wonderful.  Totally.  He was so funny, he didn't think I was sadistic, but I was actually up to his standard and then some.  hahahahahaha  We're planning on doing it again sometime.  hehehe

Oh for crying out loud.  I went to meet a submissive today, and it was all cool at first.  We had coffee at Shari's and we were talking, and then....THEN....he tells me...."I'm MARRIED and have four kids."  It took me a minute to process that.  I mean, the four kids part is all cool.  There are all sorts of single parents out there.  But he said "We can't play at my place" and I said "Oh really?" and that's when he tells me he's frikkin MARRIED.  Oh hell no!!  He says "Does that make a difference?" and I say "Does she KNOW?" and he says "No."  I told him "Hell YES it make a difference!!!"  And with that, I left.  LIAR!!!  He was lying to his wife and he didn't tell me either until he thought he had a chance with me regardless.  Oh HELL NO!!!!!

Hi there.  I'm new here.  Just saying "Hi."  There isn't an option in the interests for it, but I love flogging.  Just love it!  AND I am learning how to make my own floggers too.  

Our local munch group is having their holiday gift exchange next month and I'm not sure whether to (1)make a flogger for it, (2)give one or more gift certificates, or (3)give a gift certificate for a flogging, or do something else.  Any ideas?