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loverofsome
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ukStrictSiruk
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I am not exactly willing for this, but I think I am realizing that I need someone who can take full control, micro-managing every aspect.
For now, this is online and I cannot show face. I'm sure that if you are the one, in 3 or 4 months, you will be able to persuade me to pick up and leave, or at least visit.
I'm going to hate that I'm saying this, but although I don't have a pic, I do have a cam. I don't know why I'm telling this.
I don't know how to explain this...I've felt certain feelings that say I should be acting a certain way. But, I can't seem to bring myself to give in to those feelings. I think I over-analyze them. So, maybe the problem is that I need complete power exchange (TPE) with someone who is able to micro manage everything.
I do have a hard limit of no face for now. And, I do have a hard limit of no children, no blood..the usual illegal stuff. But, beyond that, even though I know I'll say something different later. I know I'll try to get out of it. But, still, I think I need someone who will give me no choice to give consent later. I think I need someone who considers this profile to be all the consent they need. Along those lines, I do also have TeamViewer.
In the past, I've been told that I have too much of a problem with saying "no". I was told that real submissives don't say "no". But, I don't know if anyone can help with that, or not. I guess I found it really hard not to say "no" when people wanted me to do things on an open yahoo cam and invite everyone on my list to watch. I REALLY had a problem with saying 'no' when they wanted me to put things in my ass and I didn't think that seemed right. It seemed too embarrassing. But, then I was told that I wasn't a good girl because good girls don't say 'no'.
And I think that for this online part to work, I need someone who reallly knows how to use TeamViewer. This has been tried in the past and I keep changing the TeamViewer or setting it so it doesn't come on automatically. Is there someone out there who knows how to make it so I can't do that? (TeamViewer: 357 907 609 Password: lesson)
Yahoo: NeedsMicro
NOTE: Plus there are things like...I've been told to get off the computer and go to bed. And here I am again today (3/27/2012) at 4:00 am and still haven't gone to bed yet. I'm told that peole who can access TeamViewer have ways to decide when the computer can be used. (And I guess that's besides the fact that I was told not to do this again, and here I am.)
Actually, someone else just told me that I need to be in the sort of relationship where I get in trouble and am disciplined for things that aren't even really my fault, or things that I can't even control, or things that I really didn't even do but the person says I did. They said that sort of thing would be good for me to learn that I have no control over anything -- not even when discipline happens. *shrugs* I don't know, I guess in some ways that sounded logical. But, it doesn't sound fair..or fun.
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Someone just told me that I needed to give all control to one person and let that one person demonstrate my place to me by requiring me to be available on cam, TeamViewer, etc for anyone else. They told me that a good girl would know that's what she's supposed to do. They wanted me to give al control to them. I'm afraid to do that, and I don't know if it's the right thing to do. But, with the balance of the Univrese, if it IS the right thing to do, I supposed there would be someone who can just take it without me giving it to them? I haven't see it, but from what I've been told, that TeamViewer thing would let someone be able to take it without be giving them power.
The problem is that I think I'm always going to say "no", if I'm asked.
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They stil tell me that i'm not being good when i turn the TeamViewer off or kick people off. I don't know...All I know is that don't like it and can't stop myself from doing it. If I'm not being good, then I need osmeone who knows how to stop me from doing it.
As far as that...stop me from staying up all night to be on the Internet, too. |
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| Age: 24 |
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Pennsylvania |
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