Life is a gentle teacher but sometimes it takes a whack with a baseball bat to get one’s attention.  Recent experiences have me rethinking my position for the age requirements on which I base my search.  I have come to the realization that I cannot expect to find what I am looking for in those who are much younger than me.  Changing my desire for someone a bit younger has not been easy.  Let’s face it – youth has its attraction and a person who is younger is pleasing to the eye.  What I seek is not so much a physical connection (although that is nice) as a mental/experience connection and I am not finding that in those who are more than a few years younger than me.  I am not a ProDomme and I am not here to fulfill your wants – I am searching to fulfill mine.  Thanks for reading.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and expecting a different result so I am being challenged to look inside myself today. A good friend told me recently that I need to accept that I may be alone for the rest of my life and find peace with that. That is my challenge. It is the thing I most do not want to be. I cannot change my age, the way I look, my past experiences in life but I can change the way I look at tomorrow.  

The next part is thinking that others have control to change my actions. That is where I am today. Whatever happened to pursuing what you want?  I have discovered that being rejected is not easy but I am willing to take a chance over and over because I just might get a yes instead of a no. It is extremely disappointing but each time it happens I somehow have to muster the courage to pick myself up and move on to the next.  

As an old style Domme looking for an acceptable slave or submissive in a field of new age people who barely know what the words mean, it makes me exhausted to attempt to educate someone enough to determine if there will ever be a value reward for me.  People seem to know really well what they want but have no idea that they should offer something to get what they need. I have had a large number of people contact me stating they wish to serve but when I ask them to do the simple task of calling or meeting me they don't follow through nor do they have the courtesy to say they won't.  It is inconceivable that someone could not grasp the concept that instant gratification is not as important as a relationship and the lifetime of gratification it can yield.  

I am not giving up – just yet.

For some reason I seem to get a lot of mail here on Collarspace that is either a two or three word greeting or a one liner.  As far as I am concerned, these are time wasters and I cannot for the life of me understand why someone does this.  Is it really so much trouble to write a small paragraph to introduce yourself and tell me why you are contacting me?  I made an effort to write a profile that would tell a little about me, what I want and what I don’t want.  I don’t expect anyone to memorize it but I sure would appreciate someone taking the time to read it before sending me the obligatory “Hello, how are you?” e-mail.

By the way, I never mind answering questions.

You are the one that can determine whether you would fit my requirements.

I am looking for someone who is into service. Equate "service" with the thought of one who cares for me. Service does not mean fucking, queening, or sexual touching. That, for me, is something separate from the lifestyle aspect. This is very difficult for some to understand because most think the lifestyle activities are all about sex. To me, they are not. Probably the only exception to this is my enjoyment of chastity. I enjoy knowing someone is totally under my control for their sexual releases. Service is performed because the slave needs to make me happy and feel comfortable, and the reward (for them) is in doing the best they can do. I also want someone who is not afraid (ultimately) to make a permanent 24/7 commitment. That last one is the one that is the hardest part of all. Most of the people I run across on this website can't even make a commitment to come to an initial meeting.

Now, my question to you is: Do you think you would fit the requirements?

After being on Collarspace for a while I have found that there are some truths here that should be evident.
 
There are a good many people who have no clue what the lifestyle means to some of us.  This is the way we live our lives.  When we make promises or commitments, we keep our word.  Because I do that I guess I expect everyone to do that.  A wise man told me that we cannot expect others to have our moral values.  While I wish he were wrong, he wasn’t.

Most people who do not have a picture here are closeted for a myriad of reasons – they are married and cheating, they are in a committed relationship and don’t want their partner to find they are surfing the net for online sex, they have kids that could be hurt by the kinky truth, they are not who they say they are, they have not accepted their body size or appearance and on and on.  It is also interesting to note (because I am seeking an older person) that those who do choose to add a picture sometimes select a view which is obviously that of someone much younger and very much in physical shape.  While reality bites, it is much more acceptable to me than a picture that does not represent real life.    Pictures speak volumes.

It is apparent there is an extreme age bias on this site.  I cannot tell you the number of people who have shaved 5 to 15 years off their age.  I am absolutely positive they are not so computer illiterate they do not know how to edit a profile.  Older people are sexy too.  We have orgasms and sex and sometimes (as our bodies permit) dress provocatively.  I am no longer 20, thank goodness.  Every wrinkle and gray hair came from the experience of life.

Experience means real life experience not “fantasy” time.  When I tell you I can do something it is because I have done it and not thought about doing it.  It took a good many hours of classes and practice to learn my crafts.  When I don’t know something, I say so.  There is no shame in being uneducated but open to learn.

I respectfully request that you please have some consideration for my feelings.  I want to find a person who will value my feelings and make me their priority.  If you are unable to understand this writing, you are probably not what I am searching for.

It is very interesting to have so many people contact me and then just disappear. Apparently this is play - something to hold one’s attention for a moment but when it comes time to commit, it is just too difficult. This is absolutely why I prefer to meet a person face to face. Your body language will give you away if you are not serious.