I still introduce myself as a beginner, although for me personally that's not the whole truth. I played the dominant role also in vanilla relationships, which made me look for and find submissive partners. Some experiences I made in those relationships would easily be called BDSM experiences by some, even if those relationships lacked the "official BDSM label". Well, today I know what I want, but the congenius partner hasn't showed up yet. But I am still confident... ;) Anyway, thats why I feel more on the beginning of a journey, not on the end of it. I consider that a good thing. It leaves much potential to grow and to some extent potential to develop towards the needs of my future partner.

So my dominant side exists for a long time. My sadistic side is much less prominent, it manifests as a means of my dominance, but not the primary means. It basically serves my dominance, but wouldn't arise (nor arouse me) if it wasn't in the context of domination. Therefore I am not the right partner for a primarily or purely masochistic bottom.

If your lust stems from submission and devotion, if you like to be picked up whereever you stand, and be lead to where things feel good, then to contact me would be a logical step, so go ahead already! ;)

I am not looking for ONS or a pure play/sex relationship. If it would turn out to be, that's alright, but what I seriously look for is a committed, long-term relationship with an open end. I made most of my positive experiences in such relationships, so I have no reason to change that. Maybe that notion is uncommon in a man, but just playing every now and then would simply not satisfy me in the long run. If I am interested in someone, I usually want to get closer than just sex, if I am not, I am not interested in sex with that person either. Besides, I love to fall in love! Therefore a pure play-relationship á la "2 or 3 hours every second saturday -- and I don't need to know your name" is simply not my kind of party.

On the other hand, I learned the hard way, not to use the R-word without explanation. Just like there are a zillion definitions of BDSM there are a bazillion definitions of the term "relationship", so I fear I must put you through my own one:

Basicaly, to me it means, that there's love, fascination or at the very least a high degree of sympathy between two humans, and that their being-together isn't a single occasion or tagged a priori with an expiry date. Other than that, the rules of engagement are arbitrary, as long as both are willing to mutually abide to them. So to me, it's more the commitment that counts, or call it some grade of significance, and much less the "when" and "how", or any kind of mindset of "what has to be".

I crave intimacy, yet I don't *have to* do everything with just my partner. Neither do I lock my partner up. I can "hang out" with anybody, including my partner, if she wants. But theres some intimate space that is only to be entered by this one special person, who is the only that knows my true self, and that's the constellation I call a "relationship".

In a relationship however, I love to be a man, your man, and sex sure has some significance for my species, as we all know. And not for one second I'd think about apologizing for that fact. You would hate me if I did. That said, I'd easily overcharge women that "like _rare_ sex" as well as those that "rarely _like_ sex". ;)

I want my sub not to be purely passive. I like to see initiative from my sub, too. I can't have a sub whose only thing she does real well is to wait for my first/next command (possibly with quite some hidden frustration already). I want a partner in crime, not a stupid, selfless pet. I love to be ambushed, love to "let her do", closing my eyes and cherrishing what she's offering -- without loosing my or her stance or role. That is the reason I do not consider me to be a switcher (no hard feelings, dear switchers, it's just not for me). The bottom line is: I consider it a significant aspect of a grown D/s relationship, that subbie is able to read her dom just as much as vice-versa.

I am quite exacting on the attitude towards sex practices. She should love (not "stand") (sensible and careful) anal intercourse, giving oral sex should be a pleasure to her (not "actually squirmy"). To taste me should (honestly!) turn her on, not (secretly) gross her out or repel her. I will not have or tolerate (meaning: ignore) that, if I sense any hard problems in that regard, I will rather let you go, than to try to change you, as it's pointless. This is not meant to scare away those who are new to any of this -- quite on the contrary. I don't demand perfection, I demand openness, willingness and unquestioned (i. e. permanent) consent to being kinky and sexual -- for both of us.

I do have lots of faults, one of them being that I don't want to list them here, out of pure vanity (read: for marketing reasons ;). Whether some of them would bother you or whether you'd lovingly oversee them as they make up my distinctiveness, is yours to find out...

I deliberatly pass on romantic skirmish, nice quotations, song lyrics, and the like. In my experience, there's not much behind it once you look behind the mirror. To find out if attraction, romance and love set in, one has to engage in getting to know someone new, even if one experiences a dissapointment, or wastes some time. That's life! What's possible to find out here, is whether (real or imagined) inclinations and kinks fit together, if a foto catches one's eye, whether subbie is lightweight enough, so I can catch and carry her on my arms, whether age ranges fit, etc. The rest is a story we'll eventually live to tell.

I search via the net, mainly because it allows me to see exclusion criteria early on. I can't use a sadistic Domme, as my masochism has very tight limits. Passive submission may be a nice adventure for once, but not my role in a relationship. In the wild there are 95% vanillas, most of them not very open-minded from my point of view, many of them actually grossed out by themselves or their partners, rejecting anything than the practice suitable for reproduction. Been there, done that. 'Nuff said. Uninteresting for me. But until you realize the potential, or lack thereof in someone you met in a vanilla context, often enough you're trapped, as you might duely have fallen in love with that person, BDSM aside. You're trapped to either want to change your partner to something she just isn't, or having to accept that something important to you is missing, tuning down one's needs. Both strategies seldom lead to the big happiness...

I am offering responsibility for trust, attentiveness for devotedness, welfare for respect, experience for openness, consequence for (dis)obedience ... Love and tenderness for free! Are you interested? Then grab me, before someone else does!

And yes, that's my splendid backside on that photo. And yes, I will send a portrait on request, and no I will not show the anti-shot of that one, unless you're viewing it on my lap. ;) (Might take a few days for CM to approve the pic).