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| My name is Leah and I live in Elkridge, MD. I have been in the lifestyle since my teens and was taught from an Old Guardsman.
You must love and admire the fuller shape of a woman.
I am currently seeking submissive men & bi curious female submissive for training in all areas of servitude, mannerisms and behavior, public and private. You must be willing to learn and grow as one with me as well as be disciplined when needed.
I am a firm believer in a friendship that is built upon trust and honesty. Trust & honesty are extremely important and I will not tolerate people who insist on playing head games or treat my lifestyle as simply role playing. Submission is not an hour long session, it is a hunger deep within.
I am a BBW, laid back and do not believe in wearing a costume to entertain you, such as lingerie with 6 in heels. Dominance is not about the clothing, it is about the mind and how the mind works. If you are seeking costume Dommes, please look elsewhere, I am strictly jeans and t shirt type of gal and refuse to change my way of dress to please a sub.
I am in a relationship with a man who understands my needs and desires and does not interfere in any way with my goals. He is supportive and encourages me often to pursue what I wish. If this bothers you, then move on.
The submissive I choose to serve me shall be everything all wrapped up into one precious package. Kneeling on command, servitude, privately and publicly, chores around the house, giving long massages, learn from lectures and discipline. I do not seek money. I do not seek role playing. This is my lifestyle and how I want to live so please make sure this is what you want.
If you are interested in setting up an interview, please feel free to contact me. I feel it necessary to inform readers that I am a smoker and drink 2-3 times a year. I am drug free and disease free. As for the smoking, I do NOT smoke around non smokers. I do this because I respect people's right to clean air. I do not smoke in my house. Just to clear that issue up.
I am a huge Nascar fan (Jeff Burton #31) as well as the NFL. I follow the Redskins mostly but also enjoy the Seahawks.
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I was asked recently from a male submissive in VA if we could "bypass" all the training and get right to the sex. After several minutes of laughing and trying to regain my composure, I began to think about all the people whom I have ever met who felt that training was a very non-essential part of the lifestyle. For them, it was all about the sex. Perhaps this is why it takes an extremely long time to run into anyone who actually cares about Old School.
Twenty years ago you had basically two groups of people in the lifestyle. One group was hungry to learn and grow and the other group basically were free spirits who could win a grammy for their performances in role playing skills.
Thirty years ago, I can really only recall a few people who were more or less swingers who did the role playing thing to get their rocks off and the rest were very much into the lifestyle, waiting for a very long time to even have any sexual contact with their Dominants.
Interesting how times change and for those who have committed to the lifestyle and believe in the "procedures", this has become a make it or break it type scenario. We ever have to give in to the submissive and play by the rules before us or stick to our guns and wait for that person who really wants to walk that path.
I would rather walk away from the lifestyle if all I had to choose from was weak ignorant minded people. Role play is not something that interests me. I want to be able to see the changes in the person, physically and emotionally. I want to see the growth, courage and willingness. I want to see the pride and abilities, the ultimate of sacrifices.
I live in a real world not in some pretend make believe world. I am sure that not all old school members will agree with me and that is their choice to go soft. I will wait and wait ... and wait until that special person appears. |
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It has been a very long time since I last posted and a lot has occurred in my life. I have moved from the DC area to a small quaint area in Howard County MD. I am roughly 16 miles from Baltimore.
During my time away I had interviewed many applicants but none panned out. I am still seeing many who feel the life style is about instant sexual gratification and role playing. This is not what I seek. I also have found that many from out of town coming to the area just want a few hours and off they go to another destination--again, NOT interested.
In September of 2009 I will be seeking a live in who will pay rent and serve on a 24/7 basis. This person MUST meet all my requirements and be willing to explore the lifestyle in which is was meant to be. You may be male or female, even though I do have a preference for a female at this time. You must have a full time job and your own transportation. Many times when posting for a "live in" many who are jobless and transient apply. You will be denied.
From now until September, I will be interviewing and starting formal training for those who qualify. Look for more journal entries in the next few days. |
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Has been quite a day here in DC. Had some time to roll over some ideas in my head as I enjoyed the wonderful thunderstorm this afternoon. I love a great storm.
My thoughts seem to move around a question I was asked several weeks ago from someone asking me if I held training classes. I had at one time, many years ago but once those initial classes ended I found myself involved with other activities and could not make the time.
The classes were held once a week for two hours. I had a class limit of 6 per class and 3 classes per week. 12 weeks. Busy busy. I did this in my living room. Very casual, laid back atmosphere. The first class was a very basic one, get to know you type. Students were instructed what to bring to class, such as note book, pencils etc. Sorry, no sexual activities evolved. This class was about the basics and how to find out who you are and what your limits are as well as basic behavior. I only had 2 people out of 18 asked to leave. I really enjoyed sharing stories and events with the students.
I am sure that I would ask many more to leave now a days. But it is good that there is an initial mix of people for the first class. The novice RT people get to see how the lifestyle has crumbled by the sex starved players. This helps build a confidence right away by seeing others there who do not belong.
I may consider holding a class later in the summer if I have a student base interested in attending. If you are, please let me know. |
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It has been quite a few days since I last posted a new journal entry. I tired quickly of the bogus emails and constant ignorance of the people on this site. Finally, I believe, people are finally reading my profile and perhaps understanding that I live this way. I do not role play my life away nor sit late at night finding instant gratification via cyber sex. I rather have an empty in box than it being filled with crap.
I received an email from a gentleman near me asking to be interviewed but he felt I may be on the way too serious side and he felt that maybe he as was not "worthy". It is not so much about coming off as serious as it coming off as in real. I am extremely laid back but I also know who I am, what I want and how I wish to live my life. Some like to play games, some like to really experience life. If this makes me on the serious side, then so be it. Everyone has some sort of standards in which they live, mine just happen to be very high. I am sure I am could gather 20-30 subs in a day, play head games but I would not be happy. People do what makes them happy.
You may ask if I judge people. I like to think that I limit that but I am only human and there have been times that I have been quite judgmental. I find it hard not to judge people on this site and others like it mainly because you really only have their words and lack of decent picture or no picture at all. This site provides a wonderful outlet by allowing journal entries. I rarely see any entries and if I do they just suck.
One of my pet peeves is having to ask millions of questions about a sub. It is more or less like pulling teeth at times. I do become quite annoyed by having to do this. Plus it can be a total waste of time not only for me but for them as well.
Perhaps my words will encourage others to start a journal so others can learn about them and it may help them to even learn more about themselves. |
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Are you a slave or submissive? How does one know? Is there a test someone can take to determine this?
First, you must know the definitions of both before you can even try to figure it out. I believe that people who are generally very passive tend to fit more in the "slave" category rather than "submissive"
Each of us will come up with varying definitions to the words and often will find ways to justify them to suit our lives.
I personally know slaves who absolutely love their lives. They serve humbly, often living in separate quarters, 100% relying on their Dominant for any necessities they my need.
I see names here that have those words in it and the people are not even close to the definitions I have seen my entire life.
The best way to find out if you are slave material or more submissive is to ask yourself several dozen questions concerning yourself, how you want to live and just how important is it to sacrifice to give to another.
I guess people think that a slave is someone you can order around and they have no say in the matter... In a sense this is correct BUT only when the relationship is 100% real and both people in that relationship have built a foundation of trust and love. You would be insane to hop into a relationship without know every detail of the other person, especially as a slave, where most feel slaves have no rights, no say, no nothing.
I have enjoyed very much training slaves throughout my years. Especially when you come across someone so dedicated to the lifestyle, they have waited their entire life to be in that moment. I have also trained several hundred submissives. Both groups were equally challenging and also extremely rewarding.
I often will challenge someone calling themselves a slave. A slave is a special title only deserving of those who choose willingly and unconditionally to surrender themselves to another human being, not for a few hours and back off being vanilla.
Some folks feel that they feel they are superior and bossy they can call themselves a Dominant..
And often times, unfortunately, they feed off those weaker more passive souls, abuse them, break them and destroy people just to gain a tad more superiority. It is an awful shame that this goes one everyday and people get away with it.
I personally enjoy a mix of servitude, a enjoy a sincere submissive and I am very happy with a 24/7 slave. I have had the pleasure of having both groups serve me at once.
Please spend the time and discover who you really are before you label yourself incorrectly. |
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Have been reading through some of my more interesting emails this morning. Had been asked by two people about Old Guard recently. I found it extremely interesting that a young person has done massive amounts of research on the topic and actually understands the concept. Someone 20 years old, spent the past 4 years researching terms, asking questions, learning beside another submissive. Image that. Now this person is headed out into the unknown with vast amounts of knowledge and she is determined to create a haven for the right Dominant. Then of course, i read through all the crappy emails about how this person wants to do this and that... "Delete". I wish the submissive who spent several weeks chatting with me a very successful and fulfilling life. There is hope... |
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Today's journal entry is about Glorified Profiles. Why do people insist on making up things that they never tried but yet claim to have years of experience? Where is the benefit in it? Not only is it falsifying who you are but can be dangerous. Perhaps, I am just out of the swing of things, too much Old School in me but I just do not understand people today. What would happen if you claimed to have all this experience and you get yourself into a situation with no way out except going through it?
I chatted with a sub female in the DC area who wrote to me telling me she was the one for me. I asked her how this could be.. She rattled off all the things she can do for me and all the experience and training she has gone through etc.
Come to find out through various and perhaps devious ways, she finally admitted to lying about everything BUT she felt seeing pictures or movies on the topics made her an expert. It is easy to look at pictures of women bound and gagged and seeing welt marks across their bottoms but to experience some like a hard core spanking is not easy. The only way someone can claim to have experience is to actually have experience.
Lying will get you no where my friend and often Dominants will not allow a second chance. Therefore, you have wasted everyones time, including your own. How does one get experience? There are several ways that Dominants and submissives can achieve this. One may ask a trusted friend to tie you or to spank you. Just to see if you are going to like it. There are also BDSM groups everywhere that welcome the curious and within those groups you will find men and women of all status who are willing to show examples of different activities, in a trusting atmosphere. You can find a sub in your area who has some experience and talk with them, meet with them experiment with them on a non dominant level. There are so many resources out there for the beginner and there is absolutely no reason why anyone should glorify their profiles or bold face lie about anything. |
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Is exploring the lifestyle considered "cheating" in your vanilla relationship?
Many would agree that it is cheating while others say a night out with your favorite Pro Dom/me is like bowling a few games with your buddies. Many claim chatting with the opposite sex while your wife/husband or significant other is not aware, is considered cheating. Some think cheating is only when there is sex. I know people who feel if they pay for the lifestyle activities via Pro Dom/me, it is cheating while those same people feel if you are not paying for it, it is not cheating.
This whole entire topic can be solved by just being open and honest with your partner. Give them the opportunity to understand what it is your need in your life. Would you not expect the same from them? You might even get lucky and your partner is fascinated by it and wants to learn along side of you.
Like anything in this world you have the professional and you have the wannabe. Both can charge you an extreme amount of money per hour or per service. What are you getting from it though. Well, there are many types of people. There are people that desire complete privacy because of their career. While others need the secrecy in order not to hurt their personal life & family. Other just get a rush from having to pay, and the in & out service they get.
Are Pro's considered prostitutes? Even without any sexual contact? It is odd how society is ok with people paying 200 an hour for a back massage at a spa but not ok if someone gets a 20 minute, non sexual spanking. You are still paying for a non sexual service so why is that one is legal and the other is not? Even if there is no nudity, like a bare bottom, jail time or a fine can occur.
When I was Pro, I did not allow anything sexual, because my feel on things is that the lifestyle is not about sex. My sessions were based on training. Mannerisms, behaviors, specific ways of serving their future Dommes. I did spankings, I did bondage, I did the humiliations. But I knew at that time, I could be arrested because I was not part of the "Norm". Almost all of my clients needed things to be secretive. I held classes for those who wanted to let their partners in life know about them. I did couple counseling and found that at least half of the partners were ok with things as long as no sex was involved. Sure there was some break ups but the important thing was that the sub or Dom/me that I was teaching, was free. Their soul was able to breath in the new life, a fresh beginning. I would think it is very close to how a gay person comes out of the closet. I totally admire people who can step up and express themselves to others and be able to live the way they want, freely and unconditionally. And after all the fallout, you definitely know who your friends are.
I do not hold judgement on anyone who sees a Pro, whether sex is part of the session or not. People need to do what they do in order to play out a fantasy or obsession. Pro's do not do it for satisfaction, they do it for the money, that is why they are Pro's. Bottom line is you are only cheating yourself when it comes to this way of life. Be honest with yourself. Talk to people that can help you discover a whole new world. Stop hiding. Start living. |
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This entry deals with in person interviews, which I have had several in the past week. I never expect miracles when initially meeting someone and always expect them to be completely different than who they say they are online.
Three submissive men were scheduled. All of the three were late by atleast 30 minutes without a phone call to me expressing their tardiness. One even admitted that he was purposefully late so I would punish him. He never got an opportunity to interview because I sent him on his way after his opening statement about why he was late.
One submissive had claimed to have 15 years experience as a sub. Well, he was clueless when questions were asked of him. The third one said he was novice and never had any experience but yet when he started opening up about his likes, he got tripped up in his lies and all the sudden the man had dozens of Dommes.
Why is not important to be open and honest with someone? Do you honestly think that the words on your profile are your selling point? Or is it the Q & A at a face to face interview? I guess if I did not have such high standards I would have a submissive by now. But unfortunately, I require someone who is very open, honest and sincere to even begin to think about pursuing a relationship.
I do not want you showing up at an interview in a 3-piece suit, that does not impress me. Jeans are fine as are shorts. I am all about being ones' self. But I do expect for the person to be polite and has some type of manners. Please and Thank you. Subs often walk in and plop on the couch and say retarded things like, "So you want me to get naked now?" My response is instructing them to leave. No second chances when it comes to total stupidity or lying.
My tips for a good interview are to always ask the Dominant what is the proper attire, some may require more than casual wear or a specific type of clothing. Secondly, I would highly advise driving past their home or meeting place the day before so you know exactly where to go and not be tardy.
Thirdly, I would advise for you to be polite and allow the Dominant to lead the discussions and respond in sentences not "Yeah". Fourthly, Keep eye contact unless otherwise stated.
Always answer honestly. If you do not know anything about what is being asked of you, you need to express no knowledge of that topic. Questions are asked so the Dominant can see experience, knowledge, and get a feel for personality.
If meeting in public for lunch or when ever there will be a bill, always offer to pay. In most cases, the Dominant will take care of it. But if you proved to less than who you said you were, be prepared to pay for that lobster lunch.
It is expected that the sub will be nervous, we are fully aware that nerves can throw a person of keel. But often, when a person is nervous this is a good sign because it shows that the person is there and has desires of wanting this lifestyle. My opinion.
Please be fairly specific when answering questions. "UMM" is not a good response. "OK" is not acceptable as well. I would advise using the word "Anything" at any time. Keep in mind that "anything" includes death, disfigurement etc.
When the interview is done, you should inquire if the Dominant was pleased with the interview. I would not rush home and email the Dom/me asking for a collar or if they are going to choose you. This would be a huge strike against you. Allow them to contact you at their earliest convenience. By the way, saying that you have several more interviews with Dommes, gets you a n invitation to look elsewhere. We are not buying a car, so threats of having other interviews is a turn off. If asked if others are interested, then that is the time to express interest from others.
Good Luck !! |
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After chatting with a novice sub and asking him to choose a topi, his answer was one that I am sure most newer people would want. That is, how do you approach a Dominant. But after speaking to him, a better topic would be how do you really know if you are submissive and what you should know before pursuing a place in this lifestyle.
Please keep in mind that this is my opinion and not opinions of others. I have found over my life time that at times, people do confuse depression or loneliness for feeling submissive. Medical research does show that a vast number of people suffering from such illnesses do tend to be on the submissive side. For others, it is purely a fantasy that they can never live up to. That is why I feel the entire lifestyle has gone down the toilet. There are more people interested in fantasy than actual full blown experiences.
A person who is considering this lifestyle should ask him or herself several questions and do a lot of research on their own to figure out what is right for them. They need to find a BDSN checklist and slowly go over each activity an talk to others who enjoy that experience and who do not. You can not simply approach someone and not have a clue. Submissives are pretty much a dime a dozen and are treated that way by many. Having the knowledge and correct information can only be a plus when seeking experience.
My tips for approaching a Dominant would begin with research. Terminology is key as well. Simple terms such as CBT. How can you chat about something that you have no clue what it is. You do not go on vacation without researching things to do and what to see, so why would you step blindly into a totally different life style?
Once you have completed some research and found several people who help with questions and sort likes and dislikes out, it is time for a letter of introduction. Your letter should include various information such as name, location experience hard limits and perhaps your availability, as well as part time or perhaps live in. Do NOT litter this letter with 3rd person statements. No one likes to read that. You have the opportunity to make a great first impression by following simple rules. I do advise as well that you read the Dominants profile carefully before you send off any message. They may want something very specific from you or perhaps have you send to another email account.
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What a very long day for me. I have about a million topics I would love to write about. I mentioned pet peeves in an earlier journal and lately, I have become increasingly annoyed with behavior on this site as well as other sites pertaining to this lifestyle.
What possesses someone, who claims to be experienced, to send a message containing half ass sentences, horrible spelling, or the entire 20 word message is all abbreviated. Perhaps I am too much old school, but too me that is rude and disrespectful. Not because I am a Dominant but because I am another human being. These types of messages are strikes against that person in my book. In all fairness, I always offer them another opportunity to redo the message correctly. Most times they do sometimes they do not. Another peeve I have is messages containing role play. For example: *may I kneel* *may I kiss your feet* For one, if you live in NYC and I reside in DC, how does this work? I never got into online crap like that. It is a total waste of my time and a complete turn off. Lastly, I have encountered numerous messages stating payment can be sent by pay pal if I collar them??
I am not in this for money. I was at one time a Pro Domme but it was for experience. This activity lasted 3 months and I was so burned out over the coldness of the whole thing. I performed on that level mainly to see how others lived, and it was extremely popular in the area I lived at the time. I do not regret doing it but it is not for me. As for sending me money for my panties or to beat your ass the good ole cyber way.. Not interested. Plus I do not wear panties :) I totally understand though, that some people crave this type of behavior and it is something they must do for themselves. Perhaps a sickness of some sort.
Oh, I forgot one of my all time worst pet peeves..
woman coughing up a glob and spitting it out on a sidewalk or other public place. Good heavens..
Enough journal for this morning.. Have a good one.. |
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Writing in a journal has many benefits as well as downfalls. I have read many journal entries only to find in almost every case, that the person repeats themselves and bores the reader to death. I am sure that my entries have done the same to some. Reassuring readers that some people are actually RT and know what the lifestyle is about and coming down on people who have not a clue in what they are doing. I had a few interesting messages in my inbox today. Most from states away from me. I am a firm believer that long distance relationship rarely work out. How does one have a lifestyle relationship online? Sure there are audio and visual aids but really, how does this all work out? Long distance relationships are for those who want the quick stimulation and then sign off and go to bed. Not sure what the lingo is currently but years ago these types of people were called players. I have been trying to figure out how one disciplines a submissive.. a cyber belt? Watch on a cam as I send the sub to a corner? This is not for me. As any human on this planet, I desire a physical relationship where not only do I see the belt welt redden the flesh, I feel the belt, I smell the belt, I physically see reaction to the belt.
I am not putting down this behavior, obviously it is favored to RT or I would not be asked 40-50 times a day to sign to yahoo and discipline someone. I do answer all my mail except for those who insist on being stupid. |
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I am amazed at the email I have received in just two days. Mostly players who don't have a clue about the lifestyle. They simply want something that ends up with an orgasm. Funny how times have changed since I was a youngster. I recall going to Ds events after I turned 18 and not once did I see any sexual activity. It was all about exploring the equipment provided, spankings, suspension. Now a days you see more sex than anything. I guess that is fine if that how you see the lifestyle but it is hard for people mentored or brought up Old guard. My opinion anyway. I stopped attending those meets basically I was bored and also frustrated in how times have changed. Priorities in the lifestyle have changed a lot. I often skim through profiles and rarely do I find anyone with sense enough to know what they are checking off as likes or dislikes. And how many times do I have to read that the sub will do anything... Well anything includes mutilation, dismemberment, loss of vision, all that hard core stuff.. I believe that all those things fall into "Anything". And as we all know, there are people out there that are extremists and do some unthinkable things to others. Subs need to rethink their limits but also allow for exploration. I have seen some branding at a private club, I was amazed at how the sub would lay perfectly still, calm, eyes closed but only until that piece of red hot iron burned their flesh away. It's not the movies people. Think Think Think..
I also wanted to mention that when people write to me they forget their name or speak as a third person. This is not acceptable to me. Everyone has a name, use it.
Go through your limits and really think what is being asked of you. Research words to make sure you fully understand. |
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I was very delighted indeed with all the messages I have received over the past week but I was also slightly disappointed as well. Seems that most of the people who responded did not fully read my profile to see likes and dislikes. This of course, not only wastes my time but theirs as well.
Perhaps, I should also take some blame for not being extremely specific in what I am seeking. I will take some time now and give you more information that will help you to decide to send a message. I am seeking a male submissive, experience is not important to me. What is though, is your willingness to learn from me and not tell me what so and so did in your last relationship. Truth and honesty are extremely important for any relationship as is sincerity. The submissive I seek is one who desires a strong force, authority and can laugh at my not so funny jokes. I seek to teach and to guide. Mannerisms and behavior are instilled as well as mastering goals set by me. You must be willing to kneel and bow your head on command, you must listen to instructions and complete tasks this would include housework if that is what I desire to be completed. The lifestyle is not based on sex and sexual needs but it is a part of the experience when deserved. So please do not introduce yourself and tell me how horny you are. If you are seeking strictly sex as an outcome to each meeting, find someone else to bother.
I would enjoy finding a submissive who gives wonderfully long massages and admires a larger woman. One who is laid back and not carrying a ton of baggage from past relationships. |
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| Age: 18 |
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New York |
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