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Quiet, confident, dominant.
I have been passionate about what I do, and submissive men have been attracted to that. Thank you.
I came here looking for mind-blowing play. It's based on honesty and vulnerability. Most of the men I've talked to (>80%) have been dishonest or mentally not well. I simply have not been able to find someone who can avoid both of those. WTF?
I don't respond to one-liners or people with no narratives.
Adore my feet.
I love my feet and the pleasure they give me. Lick them, kiss them, massage them, suck them. I like other things - read the interests - but this is the itch I want to scratch at the moment.
I am firmly oriented toward reality. I am sane. I'm cute. I am a well rounded human being. I am looking for someone to date. I'm not TPE. There are too many other interesting things to do in life, and I'm too many different things to maintain that. Give me my sidecar of BDSM and let's keep moving. First dates or meetings with me typically include little or no conversation about BDSM. To appropriate a quote about tantra, BDSM begins with everything outside of BDSM.
And to be practical and a wet blanket ... I'm here to find sizzling, hot, in person kinkiness with one or a few people, but not to talk to everyone about those things. It's a drag having to act like a prude. Don't be a dong. Literate, thoughtful emails get responses.
I like a man who is devoted to feet and my pleasure. Simple. I like a man who is a pleaser. If you feel good giving your partner copious orgasms, we need to talk. I appreciate a man whose agenda is similar to my own - my feet - and who doesn't .... tediously, odiously ... push some other agenda. Oh. Love giving oral. Love. It. An ideal partner doesn't have a conflict between being chivalrous and kind and being submissive. A submissive can, and the one I like should, have a robust ego. A mousy person submitting is gratuitous. A strong man submitting is hot. People who are overly obsequious or grovelly in a first email just kind of send me around the bend. Really, no need.
Being overly intelligent is always a good thing. There is a certain politeness and subtle deference while still being eager that I get wet over. You may not even recognize it in yourself (but I surely will). Complexity, texture, responsiveness, restraint are hot, hot, hot. Beautiful kissing is important. BDSM rides on sex, yes, but I am drawn to men who feel moved emotionally by this, who long to experience their vulnerability. The word "yielding" makes you flush with desire. You are like a vibrating, plucked cello string when it goes right. You like psychological aspects of play. And you make me laugh.
I'm perfectly fine with you addressing me "vanilla" in an email. If you want to know the preferred honorific, it is Ma'am.
Being submissive and being dominant are more similar that dissimilar. I'm interested in the person first - the play and the desire flow from that.
You know who you are. Now. Get in touch. *smiling*
Amor fati.
Be a reasonable human being. This would include:
being respectful
writing in full, grammatically correct sentences - really
living within an hour or so of me
being reasonably near me in age (40-47)
wanting to meet
being single
NO chat - boring
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Friend in Maryland, you inadvertently blocked me. |
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Ask not what a dominant can do for you, but what you can do for a dominant.
Thank you, JFK. |
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Bildungsroman
Vocabulary hotness. Who doesn't love To Kill A Mockingbird? |
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I love kindness.
One of my neighbors has an aged black pickup. On Sunday, he stopped on the way down the hill to talk to me about my cute puggle. His elderly mother was in the passenger seat. We waved and smiled. I imagined him taking her out to do errands. And as he rolled away I read his bumper sticker: "Be kind to animals." What a doll. What a man. |
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Chilled black cherries on a hot summer day. Bliss. |
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Looking for someone within 45 minutes of my location, with some photography experience and space to take photos of my feet and my sweet back tattoo. Be literate and amusing. |
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What kind of lover are you? Do your strip me out of my clothing slowly and teasingly, enjoying the revelation? Are you strong, gentle, perceptive, ardent, long-lasting? You love the taste of my sex and the saltiness of my skin.
Happy first weekend of summer. |
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A few bucket list items:
Orgasming from foot worship. I've gotten close.
Whipping someone until they bleed ... and being thanked for it.
These two quotes came up while talking to people today: "May desire take you where you least expect it," and "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."
The first one gave me goosebumps and second one made me giggle. Clearly I'm feeling a little restless and looking for the universe/god/the kinky trickster to throw something crazy and delicious my way. |
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Sapiosexual. Who knew there was a word for it? *shivering* |
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If you've watched Gosford Park and gotten a little hard, you know something about me. |
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I want to sleep next to someone who feels familiar. |
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It's spring. Looking for a darling, funny, intelligent man to say yes to. |
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On Deference ... (an excerpt from a letter to a submissive man)
Opening doors, asking (your) lady to go first, what is more natural than that? Whether you place it in the tradition of courtly love, chivalry (a distinct notion), submission or the pagan idea of reverencing the goddess in your partner, it's a beautiful way of enjoying each other.
When I met h1 (my first husband), I was quite the early 20s hothead feminist. I felt insulted (but secretly loved it), when he opened doors for me. He was persistent on this score. He actually growled when I strode forward and opened a door for myself. I soon realized he didn't open doors for me because he thought I couldn't, but because he knew I could and preferred to do it for me. After that, there was *never* a time he didn't open a door for me. We could be having a disagreement, and he would open the door. I adored it every time, and I knew he would always do it. It made me feel cherished, protected, a woman.
He was a self-contained man, so I do not know all the ways in which it affected him. He didn't spend time asking me to reflect on it. He didn't want strokes for it. As a side-note, he did not have a BDSM bone in his body. How is it that he was more submissive than any submissive I’ve met?
If I have to require someone to do this, even having to remind him, it changes the dynamic. It’s a gift, a deference, bone-deep and reflexive, freely given. That's critical.
Interesting how this one, small, nearly invisible act, offered consistently, had so much emotional resonance. |
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I want someone amazing and dynamic, who gets hard being deferential, and feels most natural putting his partner at the center of things and himself at the periphery. It's not a loss for him. It feels good. I don't even know if that's BDSM. Is it power exchange? Chivalry? It's sexy and subtle. And it's my responsibility to accept that and treasure it, exploit it, but not take advantage of it. |
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Dipping my dainty little toe in the pool. |
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Do you have a heart that can be touched?
There, we already have something in common.
*smiling* |
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Thirsty for intelligence and heart. |
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Looking for someone local to learn Argentine tango with. |
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Is there a better way to start
the (Valentine's Day) weekend
than jumping in your car after work & hearing
The Clash, "Should I stay or should I go?"
I don't think so. |
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Martin Buber du jour:
The world is not comprehensible,
but it is embraceable;
through the embracing of one of its beings. |
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I saw something today that just melted me. I was in one of those big box stores and looked up to see a couple leaving. As they approached the door, the man opened it, and did this reflexive gesture where he put his hand behind the woman's back, this little guiding thing. It was ... protection, symbolic embrace, care. It was tender and manly. I loved it. |
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If I met my ideal man, would I, also, be his ideal? Would I be ready for him? |
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Intelligence,
and an open heart,
is my aphrodisiac. |
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I struggle with this idea of looking for and finding a partner, as if it's a shopping excursion. How can we know what we really need, and who can move us toward it?
Like many people, I have an idea of what qualities I want in a partner, but I also realize that those things may get thrown out the window when I meet the man who is right for me (and who I am right for!). This fragment of a poem by Robert Bly spoke to this:
The arrow of longing
hits the target
before we take aim.
The answer sleeps
in the question. ...
The problem of the meaning of life
is solved by the mystery of love. |
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This morning I woke up to dazzling white light instead of the usual pale gloom -- our first snow of the season. I love the hush and the sense of enclosure that the first snow brings.
I.
Among twenty snowy mountains,
The only moving thing
Was the eye of the blackbird. |
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Love is our soul responsibility.
I saw this bumper sticker today,
and nearly ran off the road with joy. |
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Our bond is no little economy based on the exchange
of my love and work for yours, so much for so much
of an expendable fund. We don't know what its limits are--
that puts us in the dark. We are more together
than we know, how else could we keep on discovering
we are more together than we thought?
You are the known way leading always to the unknown,
and you are the known place to which the unknown is always
leading me back. More blessed in you than I know,
I possess nothing worthy to give you, nothing
not belittled by my saying that I possess it.
Even an hour of love is a moral predicament, a blessing
a man may be hard up to be worthy of. He can only
accept it, as a plant accepts from all the bounty of the light
enough to live, and then accepts the dark,
passing unencumbered back to the earth, as I
have fallen time and again from the great strength
of my desire, helpless, into your arms.
-- Wendell Berry
Is love like this possible? I want to be able to give without counting, to grow into a relationship with someone that is like this, where we feel comfortable enough with each other to drop our boundaries, to feel *lucky* to be with each other, to move to new places that we didn't even know we were going to. One of the things I love about this poem excerpt is that it is not a first blush of love poem -- at the time Wendell Berry wrote this, he had been married for 15 years. That is awe-inspiring for me.
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"When two people relate to each other authentically and humanly, God is the electricity that surges between them.”
Martin Buber
Is this too much to ask for? |
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The erotic is a measure between the beginnings of our sense of self and the chaos of our strongest feelings.
Audre Lorde |
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Though I do not believe
that a plant will spring up
where no seed has been,
I have great faith in a seed.
Convince me that you have a seed there,
and I am prepared to expect wonders.
Henry David Thoreau |
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The first step in attaining your desires is to abandon them completely.
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| Age: 32 |
| Cleveland,
Ohio |
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