Having a healthy blend of mental and physical D/s and bdsm is ideal. I'm sure there are many things I have yet to learn and I suppose there are some I could bring to a situaion as well. It also takes learning what works best for whoever I'm with at the time. I have tried many impact and pain related tools as well as a decent spectrum of D/s mental work but have yet to venture far into bondage since I have done my research and decided not to let anyone tie me up that I haven't had two scene with first untied. It takes trust and I just haven't had the opportunity to build that level yet, although I'm open to it. There was one couple I was with for a month that let me try restraints and a rope harness but that was it basically. I have also had some simple hog tie sets or rope for that, but I'm a stubborn sub at times, a strong woman with a mind of her own that finds it hard to submit but find the reward much greater under the right Dom. I rarely use my safe word, and don't if I can help it, but I will use yellow to let him know to slow down or check in.... I guess I'm just stubborn that way, although recently I've learned its ok to use it and in one case I had to three times...lol

I suppose this is when I learned that my ass and back can be pushed and pushed, and I'll just beg for more (they are my reward areas, while my breasts/nipples and clit are highly sensitive and more punishment areas (the pain there does not bring me pleasure in the same way, although it can serve to sometimes push me up a level if I'm resisting the intensisty) Although those level transitions can be tricky because I can break into them somewhat fast and need an experienced Dom to calm me a bit as the high gets too strong (often just a soft tool, or making me kneel, or placing a hand on my head, or even oral helps).

I need very little empathy and prefer simple questions when I'm in that endorfin state to haveing to answer anything more... and aftercare...all I need is a small amount of time to feel my high and collect myself and then time to simple rest with him or not, perhaps just placing my head on his chest or kneeling next to him with his hands on my hair. I am not a big kisser on the mouth anyway, I get claustrophobic when it comes to other people having control of my air, I like kisses just not alot, neck is great. Same goes for breath play, I panic. I had pneumonia 4 or 5 times growing up that hospitalized me and after surgery on my sinuses at 12 its been better but sometimes I still can't use my nose so its personal. I can use ball gags, because I still have control over some air at least. Its only when others control my air that it makes me not able to trust them.

Other hard limits: I learned the hard way knife play is not for me, I left the bdsm world for almost a year due to that, until my body craved it strong enough to overcome my fears. Breath play of course, not into fisting or ass to mouth, won't do water sports or scat, and not into the pony girl thing although its fun to watch.