Before reading any further, please note that I identify as a masochist/bottom. While I enjoy some aspects of D/s, I am NOT service-oriented. I’m entered in the database as a "submissive" only because this service provides no bottom equivalent.

If you are looking to connect with a full-time, service-oriented submissive or slave, please seek elsewhere. It will save both of us a great deal of time and word wrangling.

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Moi in a nutshell

Who is this strange delite? Feisty, adventurous, playful, enthusiastic, and passionate are good descriptions for starters. Oh yeah, and I'm smart and cute too. Not to mention demure and modest to a fault. ;)

This attractive, classy, fit, blue-eyed redhead lives to indulge her kink for real-life conflict fantasy role play. I grew up reading "true crime" fiction, and somehow my sexuality got all tangled up with bondage, abductions, force/resistance play, hostage scenarios, shredded clothing (mine), corrupt paramilitaries, seized arms caches, sharp knives, strong hands, duct tape, and all sorts of other fun evil things that can be done in a dark alley. A mind is a beautiful thing to f#$% with, no?

I identify as a masochist/bottom, one who thrives on intense styles of psychosexual erotic play that are not only interactive, but physically and emotionally challenging as well.

I am not a submissive -- at least in the classic sense. While I do enjoy a narrow spectrum of D/s, I regard submission (and dominance, for that matter) as more of a scene-delimited state of mind than a full-time lifestyle or orientation. I value peer-peer adult relationships, and have no interest in extending the D/s power dynamic beyond play-space.

I'm interested in meeting EXPERIENCED tops/dominants who also enjoy exploring power-based role play and other creative expressions of real world BDSM, and who seek a knowledgeable, safe and sane partner with whom to explore their fantasies.

Although heart-pumping play, erotic adventures, and genuine friendship are my primary goals, I am also open to a possible LTR should the right person come along.

San Francisco Bay Area only, please. While I do enjoy occasional travel to other parts of the country, I'm not much of a gypsy and prefer to socialize with folks on my own home turf.

Because I receive a lot of mail from folks whose BDSM "experience" is largely confined to their own keyboard, it's important for me to make my limits known in advance so as not to waste either my time or theirs. So, please....

No Starry-Eyed Newbies

Fascinated by BDSM, and looking for someone to show you the ropes? Sorry, but I'm not that person. You might wish to make the acquaintance of other newbies like yourself, and cautiously explore your fantasies together.

No Cyber/Chat Folks

Is your exposure to BDSM largely confined to erotic fiction, the chat room, or online role play? If so, I'm not your girl. I enjoy my kink in the real world of human relationships, flesh and blood, passion, fear, pain, heat, and sex. A world where poor choices are often accompanied by physical, emotional, and legal consequences, ones that can't be resolved by a casual use of the delete key.

No Swingers, Bangers, or Slave/Slut Trainers

Are you looking for casual sex with a bit of kinky window dressing? Not really into play that can often be far more mental than physical in nature? If so, you might try one of the many swinger or "adult friendfinder" resources available on the internet.

No Chameleons

If your heart's desire is to serve a dominant woman while naked and on your knees, please do not portray yourself as a top/dominant merely to capture my attention and get your foot in the door. Seriously, it won't work. Why not save us both a lot of time by simply being honest about your needs, and the type of partner you are truly looking for.

No Lone Rangers

Are your BDSM skills and experience verifiable by others? Like any other craft, the hard and soft skills which constitute experience cannot be learned in isolation, without access to a knowledge base and peers who can provide ongoing inspiration and feedback. If you claim "experience", yet don't know anyone who can speak on your behalf, I'm going to wonder why.

Regarding references

In order to feel safe letting down my guard with you, I require meaningful references who can vouch for your sanity and character, and verify the experience which you claim. You really don't think that I allow REAL ski mask clad strangers to stuff a rag in my mouth, bind me with telephone cord, toss my body into a car trunk, drag me off to an abandoned warehouse, hold a knife to my throat, and worse... do you?

To insure your own safety, I am prepared to provide you with similar references in return. If you don't understand why this reciprocal gesture is important for your welfare, then you may wish to reconsider playing these sort of games with women you don't yet know well.

Whew! Glad that part is over

Please accept my apologies for the dry and cautionary nature of this profile. Not very sexy, is it? I think of it more as a filter, one designed to attract only those folks with whom I share common kinks and a compatible world view. I would far prefer to receive only a handful of quality responses than wade through an overflowing mailbox containing hundreds of letters from an alternate universe.

And because this is the internet, the reality is that any woman who posts a sexually-oriented profile is likely to be deluged with responses. Lots of them. Sadly, most of them from hopefuls who never even stopped to read her profile before adding her name to their bulk mailing. Do you think a savvy woman can't spot a form letter at a thousand paces? Think again.

Personal definitions vary widely, and one individual's idea of "experience" may be 180 degrees off from that of another. Online players, whose exposure to BDSM has been largely confined to the world of fiction, often have very different goals and sensibilities than those who interact in the real world of flesh and blood.

The bottom line is that the nature of the BDSM "lifestyle" tends to attract a myriad of folks, including its share of the clueless, the lost, the abusive, and the needy. Along with a variety of other social misfits and anachronisms too numerous to mention. And thanks to the media, we occasionally even hear about a real weirdo or two.

Please visit my website

So if you're still with me, please take the opportunity to visit my website to learn more about me and the type of partner/s I'm looking for. My home page is a lot more fun to read than this profile, I'm sure you'll agree.

If you wish to contact me

I welcome sincere, personalized letters of introduction describing yourself and the interests we may share in common. Because I receive a lot of mail, I focus my attention on only those letters which make a genuine effort to establish our common ground. Not just as potential sex partners, but as people with common interests and viewpoints. I want to know that you are selective in making connections, and that you are willing to make the effort to demonstrate it.

Please note that I do not respond to lazy form letters, one-liners, inappropriate (for our level of familiarity) lifestyle-ese, sexually-explicit photos or fiction, or letters which clearly indicate that the writer did not take the time to read the content of my website.

If I sound too dominant for you, perhaps that's because I'm a real live multidimensional person who has her act together, and expects the same of you. If what you seek is a cartoon caricature of a submissive female who will attend to your every need while forsaking her own, then please look elsewhere. As much as I might enjoy hand-feeding grapes to my partner, you can best believe that I'll be expecting my fantasies to be indulged as well.

A few thoughts on dominance and relationships

Anyone in search of an ego boost and a bit of kinky sex can call themselves a "dominant" or a "master". So what? Such labels are free for the taking, as anyone who browses this forum can attest.

Confidence in oneself is sexy, and those who project the Real McCoy have nothing to prove to anyone. They have no need to hide behind big Lord and Master titles or otherwise strut about all important-like, dispensing with courtesy and social graces. A big ol' title and a whip dangling from the belt does not a dominant make.

Nor do they feel the need to proclaim status over another in order to elevate their own self-esteem, instead realizing that dominant/submissive energy is a dance of equals not unlike the complimentary yet opposing qualities of Yin/Yang energy.

Masters and mistresses who are strong in themselves are able to approach relationships in a manner that remains open, honest, vulnerable, accountable, and aware of their limitations... without sacrificing one iota of dominance. They can even laugh at themselves on occasion, for we all know that they too are just as fallible as the rest of the human race.