Well I suppose, now is a better time then ever to start a entry.
Right when things come to a head and I realize what certain people mean to me.

I normally am the type to not let anyone get to close to me anymore. I can't stand losing people and fear all i do is lose people that i get close to. I lost someone that i loved dearly long ago, i lost family, friends, people that i cared for and much more then I ever thought i was capable of losing.

It hurts to lose people, at least for me, it's like being ripped into a million piece and I shut the world out as well as everyone in it. I don't think I'd ever be able to let someone in, someone be there, someone love me, someone to be my strength when I can't.

I've always been the type of girl as well as woman to always defend myself, watch my own back, know that I can only count on myself to be the one person that will always be there for me. I've been unable to let anyone be that person that i could count on, then again, I've learned through my experience in life that it doesn't matter because they all fail me in the end and i'm left to deal with things on my own.

Oh believe me, I've tried to count on people in the past, only to have them let me down and to tell me that I have to deal with things alone. That i should shut up and suck it up. Really? Could you even survive a day walking in my shoes since I was a kid? I doubt it. I know, I've been there and I know what I was thinking as a kid and how I wanted things to be better. Oh how I had wished for a family, friends, relatives, and people to care for me, to love me for who I was.
I was one of the few that actually grew up in this lifestyle. I was raised around this. My biological father was a Dominant, my mother His slave. I knew very early on how and who I was meant to be. Try living in this life as a child, it's not easy.

With that being said, I realized to day that I can, hopefully, count on someone who I have now realized means so much to me. I seriously pray beyond hope that this isn't a dream. It's been so long since I've felt like this for someone, in anyway. It's so hard for me to accept it, but how can I deny the feelings in my heart and soul? I just can't, can I?

Who would have thought that I'd feel like this anytime soon. How was I suppose to know that I'd be so scared to lose someone. How could I have known...But as I laid there crying, fearing the worst, like i had experienced so many times before, but this time started to tear at me worse then anytime in the past. I've cried in the past, yes, but did I feel this way before? No..

Sometimes they say when you come across the right and true Dominant for you, They leave that mark in your heart and soul. A mark that can't be erased or even made to disappeared. It's permanent, and just as much a part of you as everything else that's made you who you are today. It never leaves you, it's always there and always in your mind and in ever fiber of your being.

I honestly feel like this is true with Sir Damon. How He does it, I do not know. How was He able to slip past my guarded shell, crawl inside of me, invade my mind, my heart, my soul, and every inch of me..I don't know. All I know is that I feel that mark on me, that He has left. That mark that no one else has been able to leave on me. I feel as though every piece of me would die and disappear into the nothingness if anything ever happened to Him or came between Him and I.

He is my Sir, My King, and simply everything to me. He owns me in every way..mind...body...heart..and my soul. Everything I am is His. He is the one that I can count on to be there for me, be that person I can look up too, that Dom that will be gentle and firm with me. That Dom that loves me dearly and treasures me endlessly. That One that commands me to be all that I can be and more.

All I can say is Thank You..Thank You...My King....