So let me tell you why I don't want to be in service to you. It's because you're not man enough and you don't have your shit together. 

Yeah, and don't send me messages trying to prove that you are. Here's the truth, that vision you have of the D/s life doesn't exist and can't exist unless you're independently wealthy and have no family and ties to the outside world. 

Why I don't want to be in service is because I do and you don't have what it takes to makes that work beyond 3 months. Why do I know that? Because that's the shelf life of your interest in the rules you set up. Oh sure, its all hot and what now, and there's that rush when you start out and your little creation (me) is doing quite nicely. Then you get complacent and bored with it. So do I. Following rules for the sake of following rules is not hot and sexy. You get bored and lack creativity and cannot manage an evolving dynamic 

I've done this many many times and it always goes the same way. And I'm not interested in that any more. 

I have Dom men on this site telling me all the time that I'm not a proper submissive and some even think I'm a Domme in disguise. I do not dominate but I do get shit done. I get no sexual titilation in telling you what to do. I tell you want to do because that's what needs to be done and you're the person to do it. And that is the true definition of power - the ability to manifest a creation in reality with speed and without the use of force. By that definition, I have more power than you do and that's actually a great thing when you're in service because shit gets done. Its a terrible thing in a power dynamic when you realize the submissive is better at this than you are and doesn't need you. 

I don't want to be in service to you because when the submissive is almost always more powerful than you are, you only have force and manipulation to rely on and that isn't true power and is in no way fun. 

Who am I?

I'm complex. I know, people say that a lot without giving thought to what that means. My interests, and passions and facets of my personality are often radically opposed and somehow all work and make sense. I'm a technology geek, and yet I make my own yarn on a spinning wheel. I'm an introvert, yet thrive on a stage. I have been a diplomat, shop girl, fundraiser, spokesperson, and now I run marketing company. I spend large portions of my day telling other people what to do. And yet, here I am having clicked the "submissive" tab. So reading this, you'll assume that I'm some sort of cliche, looking to step out of my suit and into a collar. It's much more, dare I say, "complex", than that.  When I have a strong personality in my life, someone bolder, and bigger than I am, things just work better. 

Who are you? 

You are a man's man. Which means you open doors, you say please to waiters, you care for everyone in your life and you stand by your word. You're successful, tall, 35-45, not married. You crave creativity and passion.

You get that this isn't about force or fixing someone. In the end, it's about love and taking care of people. Yeah, sure, awesome crazy sex should be sprinkled about. You should know that pain and pleasure are just two sides of a spectrum, and you can master both. And you know that the sexiest thing in this game is trust.

I took a poll of my vanilla and kinky girlfriends. Not one, not a single one, said they enjoyed receiving a dick pick from a random stranger on a dating site, kinky or not. Take note boys, and reign it in. 

Just to clarify what I'm looking for - I'm interested in dating someone within 10 years of my own age, and who is currently single. 

I have met very few people in this life who can command authentic authority. You enter a crowded room and there is an automatic bubble of space around you, that you command out of respect, rarely fear. You tell me to "stay right here" and we both know that it would take mortal danger or cataclysmic tragedy to move me from that spot.

I refuse to be someone's afterthought. I want to be your only thought.

"What are you seeking?" why does everyone ask that? It's pretty obvious considering this is a kinky dating site right? Maybe I get activated because I don't have a really good answer. I've been in the scene a long time and I find it full of terribly over dramatic people who wouldn't know authenticity if it was sprayed in their face. I once had the reputation of being a type-a service submissive. I've taught classes, demo bottomed, have been known to be whipped till bleeding and was in 24/7 ownership relationships and at the end of the day, I still lack the sort of connection that makes life juicy and delicious as everyone is caught up in playing these roles that they think they should play in the scene. I discovered an inherent inauthencity in my original desire to be in a kink relationship, that being living in a context driven by comfort and no responsibility. Now that I've dealt with that and stepped into this vast ocean of personal power, I don't know where kink lives for me. I enjoy bottoming, sensation and pain play with the right partner, and you know, rough and aggressive sex in general, but I don't know where D/s falls anymore. That could also be because I haven't met a man in ages that could dom his way out of a wet paper bag. I'm not looking to be broken or rescued or any of that nonsense. I want to be in partnership with a powerful man who is out to change the world, make a real difference, laugh till we cry and who gets that having a woman in his life who just might be more powerful than he is, makes his life better and makes for great sex. 

I'm increasingly finding the kink world distasteful. There's a gratuitous nature that is just off putting these days. I don't, in fact, really enjoy seeing ads with tits in them. I don't really need to see pictures of your cock or bruised bottom. Just because we may be more open minded (however, that is debatable) than the Average Joe, doesn't mean I want to view it every time I visit a website. 

I'm also put off but inauthenticities that run rampant. Look, I'm just a girl who has been all over the kink landscape and I have no interest in playing games any more. I'm not smushing myself into some cookie cutter image of what some random stranger on a kink site thinks a "sub" should be. I am my own woman, exceptionally powerful in my own right and who just happens to like kinky sex and playing with concepts of power.