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where oh where has the time gone...seems like only yesterday when I posted my last entry..only it's been just a tad longer than that...I'm still enjoying life to it's fullest...loving my raven with all the power and grace I can honor her with...getting out on the scoot as often as I can....still sit on the beach and marvel at the wonders I'm afforded to witness...I've learned how to master the art of not thinking or worring about tomorrow...I live day to day now...could be a reason everything seems like it was only yesterday...I've learned how to finally..really live for the day....all praise goes to my raven...she really does know what I need...just hope I continue to fill hers. |
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although I haven't written in awhile doesn't mean I haven't been without anything to say...just personal family issues (lost my little sister to cancer) my second big loss since the start of the year...so I have retreated to my work...alas my dear sweet raven has found a way to snap me back to the reality of what's needed ahead of me...to live life as I always have..full tilt..on the edge...I'm back to living each day as if it were my last and draining every drop out of each and every day...so the void will slowly lessen...the spark is already back in my eye...and I resume on this journey which I can't retreat from...the will is to strong to stop...so I continue
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I find it rather funny when I hear a woman is always so open and trusting...giving to much to soon...and us men..always taking and taking and not giving much in return...although I've learned to be guarded...I still find I open with to much to soon...not because it's a requirement...but because honesty causes me to be that way...all the strength in the world can't ward off the sting felt when a prospect lies just to get what they want...the road is full of so much deceit and trickery...yet to not experience it...is to not grow and learn...eyes can lie... |
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I wasn't really looking or thinking about anything the other day...just drifting along...my raven by my side...she tapped me and said Master are you paying attention...this brought me back to what I was doing...reading profiles here...I turned and saw such a gleam in her eyes....I looked back at the profile I had up...how can one explain something intangable...it was just her eyes looking back...in them I saw through her...my heart kind of jumped...the very slight pressure from ravens fingertips on my shoulder let me know she saw it too...can it be this site will bless me once again...well she's coming for bike week...we'll meet...maybe it's just a visit...maybe it will be more...ty CM for giving me another road to travel down...another adventure....can it be I'm not getting to old and jaded after all... |
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well it was finally time to get a new scooter...nice little Harley... |
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as another year ends..new beginnings await...I lift a toast to some friends I've lost...I sip slowly to new ones I've found... a hand to lift..love..punish.....a mind to think clearly...a soul to connect...a body to maintain the strength of will and purpose...an eye to see the beauty..value and need.......a heart that if you are true to it..listen to your own..let it beat in time with mine...always see the road as a never ending journey..travel with care but enjoy the wonder... |
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a strange and wonderious thing happened to me today....as I looked out over the ocean watching the sun rise this morning...there within two connecting clouds was the vision so many wish were theirs to have...( if only I had my camera)...the first cloud was shaped like someone holding a hand out to the other shaped like someone kneeling reaching out to take that hand....such beauty in what nature wants us to see..
a reflection of my life??? |
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funny how..just when you think you've got everything figured out...one very little something comes along and throws it all out of kilter...it's not a wonder that this is the lifestyle I live...it's that I'm still here after all this time...
I'd like to express my thanks to those of you here that I've met on and off-line...keeps me sane knowing we really are that great melting pot.... |
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time passes...wounds heal...the soul finds the way to refill itself with a new wonder...I draw yet another breath and lift that foot one more step...I hear that faint sound...but it's always near...hands reach out to lift me from the place I've stumbled and fallen...seeing them...I brush them away...somehow they've given me a renewed strengh...I stand on my own...this road has had many a twist..lots of bumps and turns...but the journey is still worth every step I've made..and every step still to be taken... |
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as I sit upon my throne...looking out at the faces of those who seek to take my place...I see the liars..cheats..deceivers..gluttons for power..murders of souls and wills...all the smiles with knives clutched tightly behind their backs....yet as they see me...they see past me to what they wish to have...for to really see me as I am...they'd see I'm tired and simply want to rest.....ask for my seat and it is yours...I have nothing left to prove..nothing lacking..nothing wanted but the rest this long journey has led me....you need not try to steal it...I give it freely to you....my final journey shall be as it will...one without title or robe..or crown.....just a humbled man following in the footsteps of the many before him....the footsteps of those I honor.... |
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it's been a very long and inspiring journey since I've stopped getting into the over the top knowledge from some on these boards....returning to real life and real people within my community pulled me back from a fall to which I fear may have been fatal....newer people can't express thoughts as they are new...and older more experienced can't take the time to try to understand...it's so much easier to dismiss than to try to guide and direct....online is still full of intolerance and disrespect....the frighting thing about it...most buy into the spouted wisdom of the few....with the vastness of the difference within...we have funneled ourselves into a tunnelvision attitude of the total meaning of what we do.... |
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I just couldn't let a whole month elapse before making another entry.....being away from the boards for awhile....looking at what's there....the new faces...the wonder of what's ahead.....I wondered for a few moments....if there were anything at all I could have contributed......then I look down and see my slave.....kneeling...patiently waiting for me to finish this......well I can only wish....others will one day see the beauty and joy of the reality of life......without cyberworld.... |
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seems as if some people want to hammer their beliefs and ideas of what this lifestyle is all about...into everyone with a difference of opinion...what's even worse...if THEY don't clearly understand what you say...you're either a fake..phoney..on drugs..or drinking....and just when I was thinking it couldn't get any worse....I wasn't disappointed.....just one big bandwagon...loaded with all the experts....hey I can't type like this....with all these dots....it makes it so hard to read what I type....thank the angels in heaven I don't have to live with the CM PC police.......yesa boss..I's be changing what I is soons I git offin dis puter thing.....yesa boss...yous be right...I don't know nothing......now my rant here is personal to me...off the boards and at peace.....the PC don't read these things anyway.... |
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just when I thought I might be on the wrong road...I finally passed something familiar....
I think it's time to back up from the lifestyle as depicted on here.....I come looking for knowledge....I find.....disrespect ( nothing about earning...respect in general)....hurt..pain..anger..sorrow..intolerance..
if this is what the lifestyle has evolved into.....I fear we've become...our own worst enemy..... |
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whole new avenues of thought have crossed my infant brain...how else can someone who's known all his life...what he was and who he was destined to be...how then have I come to a place...where I stop...and wonder....if I lead others forward on their journey...and I so much enjoy the ride.....why have I stopped following the roads ahead...and started to lead to the known.....I've always lived for that unknown out there....so much growth....I remain true to myself.....I take that leap of faith...and continue on my journey as well... |
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went out on the beach at 5 this morning...wanted to just listen to the ocean..smell the air...and wait for the sunrise...
with all that time to think...I drifted on the years spent in this lifestyle...my slave/wife....other slaves from my past...how good ..or bad..I've been in my teaching and growth of others no longer in my life....are they succussful in their lives now...are they happy....
the sun came up....it's first rays..kissing the sky and the water...and I felt so small in the world.....a real reality check if ever I needed one.... |
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been back on site for awhile...interesting to see many of the older posters remember me...still have so much information running through my head...but I think this time...I'll post on the boards...but I think since the last flaming incident...I'll read more and say less....(note to self) my voice has not been silenced...but now if you listen to it...it's just a whisper...those that want to hear it...will swear it was a shout....echo resounding within...yes I'm still me...strong..dominant..proud.....what else can I be but who I am.... |
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