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**** I am not currently looking for anything and will not be returning unsolicited email. Thanks & Best Wishes! ******
Top 10 Truths that need to be recognized:
1. Fakes. If I see One more profile calling everyone else but themselves a fake I will puke.
Just WHO are YOU to call everyone a fake?? If dating someone and they like to fish and you don't, are they a fake? If they like sex by the 3rd date and you dont, are they a fake? Of Course not. They're just not the right person for you, no big deal.
"Fake" is a negative, Judgemental, COMpletely Subjective term and is putting the community into a negative frame of mind. No one likes having to proove "if they are a fake or not" which generally just means "do you match that person's kinks EXactly" -- which changes with every single person.
Become okay with yourself, and you will magically be okay with everyone else doing their own thing too......
2. Slaves vs. Subs vs. ??
No one should be abused. Period. Slaves are still slaves even if they have some limits..... like not wanting to be killed.
3. Girls liking Girls.
Some girls are Bi or "become" Bi to please their partner. Don't exploit her willingness to submit by making her do sexual things she does not want. If you wouldn't share your female sub with another male and she is not bi, but you are pressureing her to-- it feels no different to her than if you made her be with another male [even if the person is female.]
Some women ONLY Like girls. In that case, if you are a man LEAVE THEM ALONE. THEY ARE NOT INTERESTED IN YOU.
It is Extremely Disrespectful, as well as dumb and a waste of time to email a LESBIAN if you are Male. Get a Life.
4. Pictures.
No, you do not have to have a picture before you talk with someone. Some people have family, friends, and/or a JOB to protect and can not give out that info to strangers. After they have spoken with and are comfortable with you they may offer picts.
People can certainly be "Real" and "Serious" about finding someone without broadcasting to the world who they are and risking their Jobs/Families.
Just because someone doesn't give you pictures FIRST doesn't mean they will Never give you picts--they just want to get comfortable.
A little compassion and you might actually find someone great!
5. Pro-Dommes/subs.
They exist. Very nice way for those without the time or evergy to put into a search or not wanting a long term relationship to play and explore. Generally safe, discrete, and magically likes all the same kinks as you! ;)
It's worth exploring if you want to try some things but not risk a relationship or to fill in the gaps between relationship.
Seeing a Pro doens't mean you are giving up on finding someone!!! -- It just means you are ready to play *now* , have not met the right person yet, and understand life is too short to wait all the time.....
6. Real Life community vs. Online community.
Real Life community: SO Nice! Online community" SO Bitchy! Reality?-- two sides to the same coin, exasperated by the medium presented.
If you are frustrated and wondering why the perfect _____ isn't just appearing and comming to you and you can't find "real" people -- They are at your local meet, you know, being "real". Go meet them and quit complaining.
7. Being Bitchy.
Online it is so easy to be Bitchy-- don't have to see the person ever again or even deal with or see their emotions in the present, what a deal!
If you don't like someone: Say "Best Wishes Elsewhere." , Block them [so you don't have to be dragged into a email scream match] , Move on.
**** Block them. Block them. Block them. Then delete their prev emails so you own't re-read them and stew. Then MOVE ON.
8. Sex.
For some people Sex is paramount, other see it as having no place in BDSM. Whatever. It is a set of kinks like any other -- someone doesn't match you? -- Move on.
Not a pervert, not "fake", just doesn't not match your kinks. So what.
9. Reading a Profile.
Is it really that hard?????
If you are taking the time to write to someone, and Expect them to read your email AND respond-- You can read their profile.
Make sure your interests match enough of theirs and THE GENDER they are looking for!!!!
10. Male:Female Ratio.
There are more men than women interested. Look at the board on any given day/time-- we all know this. I would peg the ratio of about 4:1 to 6:1 depending on the day.
Just wanted to say that I am aware of this and I am sorry it will take you longer for you to find what you are looking for. I am sorry for the days you will wonder why someone is not writing back and for the ones that do only to reject you because they found someone else.
But just remember: Every new female you contact is a NEW person. So to send a one-liner or an email filled with annamosity from the past 10 is not going to help.
You never get a seccond chance to make a 1st impression.
If you are really really looking for someone, Please move your search into real time by attending local clubs and meets. You will find the Male:Female ratio much more even and throught networking and community find what you need faster and without the presure & rejection of online.
When most ladies reject you or do not write back, it is NOT PERSONAL. They don't even know you, so there is no way they can be personally rejecting *you*.
You could also consider a Pro-Domme to tide you over and release some steam.
In any event, Take care NOT to have annamosity in your emails, call ladies Fake or mean, or otherwise take out the frustrations of your search on someone.
It is NOT their fault.
And it is a HUGE Turn-off.
____________________________________
Keep the Faith!
Hope the community gets positive again and can get back to the business of being a community, welcoming those with kinks/desires with no where else to go, and finding our true matches! :)
Peace.
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