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MsMeeLing

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I have quite a few things to say…SO…~if~ you are interested in me…READ IT ALL...OR DO NOT EVEN BOTHER

About Me

I am disease free; though I do smoke, I have cigarettes, and occasionally, (hardly ever) drink alcohol.
What is there to tell? I am just the typical New Jersey born, moved around the middle American area, joined and medically retired from the Army when I was 17 years old, Domme who ended up in Texas. ;) Sooooo simple, right? ;)
I ended up in where I am, just like millions of other people, with my own stories, my own path, and my own magazine subscriptions; ;) just like everyone else. I am living my life to the best of my capability, to the fullest extent possible, as best as I can. I am living...or maybe...maybe...I am surviving...
As far as my Kink path...I believe it is emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual; I do not believe Kink is just one thing, one entity. When I play, a little bit of me goes into that scene, into that person, for that time. Should that person choose to keep me at that time or beyond, it is their choice, but I move along to live.
I am who I am...and...well...it is what it is...if there is anything else you would like to know, then feel free to ask...I don't bite...well...yeah...that's a lie...I do bite...and hard...AND I like it that way... Besides...bite marks are love notes in the flesh... ;)

Pay Attention Here!!!

~ I do/will ramble...it happens...it is part of me...it is part of my writing......I will TRY not to ramble...but it happens with me... - if you are a grammar nazi and you cannot handle these first few sentences - then stop and hit the "Back Button"...don't bother getting your panties in a knot...
~ Any questions, comments, concerns, etc; please send via the email system...or however you know how to contact me...
Thank you for your cooperation...
For the longest time, I have not, did not, and would not look for a dating "serious" or a "romantic" relationship...my friends/family/parents/so on would tell me how I was/am going to wind up as an "Old Maid" and how I am going to "die alone" and try to tell me all of these things of the sort to try to scare me into looking for someone, desperately...but I never cared...
Frankly, I have WAY too much stuff on my plate to have the time to devote to another person, where I open myself up to them, let them inside of my mental/emotional/spiritual/etc self and allow them to get to know "the real me" and not "the outside me" of what everyone else sees. As between my daughter - who has been through so many traumas and has been in and out of hospitals for them and is now back in another hospital; plus taking care of my son who has to deal with his sister's issues - what she does when she has her outbreaks - then the hospital stays - the fact of being alone when she is gone - then normal "childhood stuff; and then, with whatever is left-over, to try to muster it up to try to take care of myself - if I am not suffering from the injury and the repercussions left over from the military... To say that everything combined, that it all together, is not easy...well...that is mild, yes...however...there are many with it worse than me...so I try not to complain...I try to just deal with everything...I try to survive with what I have been dealt...and keep on going, by grabbing myself by the boot straps and marching forward...
So, with the "go find someone" and "go get into a serious dating relationship" and so on and so forth that would develop into something, with that annoyance and whatnot...sigh...I, for the most part, let it roll off of my back.
However, the one funny part is; my dad and I have an interesting relationship...anyone who knows people from the North-East Coast understand our personalities...to a degree...
Anyway...my Dad, at one point, had told me about how I would be an "Old Maid", to which, I finally realized and responded how I couldn't be one, as I had 2 kids with their father, my ex-husband, who passed away in 2008.
He responded, after a few minutes of grumbling and mulling it over, to try to come up with something; which he did...he said how most likely they would end up being the ones who pushed me down the stairs to my death...
So, I sat there, smoking my cigarette, at the table, where we were, and I quickly responded, to his remark (once again - one must understand the relationship he and I have - and it is a good one...it is just "different"...); my response to my Dad was, "So is that your request from me? Or is that your request for me to tell my sister to do to you and Mom?" ...and I went on for a little bit from there before he decided, for some odd reason...I just cannot figure out why, to this day...he changed the subject to something completely different and off of the subject from what we were discussing...
...sigh...
I was so "confused"..."bats eye-lashes "innocently"...I just cannot figure out the reason... ;) :p Every now and then since that first time, he would bring up the Old Maid thing...but after a while...for some reason...it has not been brought up in a very LONG time...hmmm... ...I wonder... ;)
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm...

Anyways, my defense of not being involved with anyone in a romantic dating relationship was because of:
  • 1.) My children ALWAYS have, will, and do come first...and with all of the medical issues, hospital stays and visits, doctor stuff, moving for hospitals/family around Texas, settling in, getting situated within the cities/schools/neighborhoods/etc and finding my way around for their needs and necessities, their curricular activities, etc and so on and so forth when it comes to my children...
  • 2.) My medical issues from my injury in the Army prevent me from living a "normal" life...period...
  • 3.) I have been through way too much shit in my previous marriage of on and off, 7.5 years, that, though, yes, therapy has helped...there was A LOT of damage done to me...and there still is a lot of damage I am dealing with...because...to be honest...no...after all he put me through - which, yes, I know that there are a lot of battered women out there, but no, I have not met many who have been through what I have; not belittling what they have been through, and not saying that what they went through is less than what I have been through... - I am not trying and I am not going to get into a pissing match... - Robert died the same day, of 3+ of the medications, as the male who played the Joker in the movie The Dark Knight...I can never remember the actor...as I just really do not get into pop-culture...but anyway...I forced myself to see the movie because I thought there might be something there within the movie for me...and there was...but that is neither here nor there... - ...anyways...the character that died the same day as Robert...?... Honestly, I do not see what the big deal or the hype was about as far as the character was concerned, as he really was not all that scary, in my opinion; as Robert made that character look like a fresh born puppy, in comparison, with all that I went through...or even just some... As Robert was Machiavellian (which I did not know who that was when I met and was with Robert - due to my injury and lack of thought to research because of the injury and the box that Robert put me in - he went so far as to name his pet Miniature Schnauzers (German Dogs), Nick (short for Niccolo), and Princess (in honor of the book he wrote - The Prince - which was Hitler and Stailin's Bible - as I came to find out later on, after I left Robert, and after he had died)...
  • 4.) I mean in all honesty...I would think that all of that baggage, as I called it...was enough to let those people who were encouraging me to get into a relationship know and figure out...that...well...I am just too fucked up to be in a relationship...because...well... LOOK AT THE ABOVE!!! I have a whole bunch of crap on my plate...and that is only PART of it!!!
So...with all of my problems, issues, and baggage in mind...why would I want to look for a serious dating relationship? Why would I want to screw someone else's life up? Why would I want to add stress to someone else's life?
I mean...I am fucked up on my own...I do not need anyone else's help to mess things up for myself...
So why would I introduce someone to my life, when I have problems with it?
So why would I introduce someone to my way of being, when I cannot deal, at times?
So why would I introduce my children to that person, if that person in the end cannot handle things?
...and Gods forbid anyone hurts my kids...because...Gods have mercy on their soul...because everyone else knows that I WILL NOT...
I have been stupid, ignorant, dumb, and retarded enough to get involved into some relationships, since Robert's death...well...since Robert and I first separated...and then after he died, as well...well...duh...of course...he died in 2008 and now it is 2012...but anyway...I digress... Anyway, I have been involved in relationships, though, far and few between; and obviously, not long lived, or worth-while, or purpose-ful, or decent, or meaningful, or whatever the situation may be for that particular situation...and obviously...I am NOT going to introduce just anyone to my children/friends/parents...so, whatever relationships went under the radar...or...well...what "relationships" that there were...
So, anyways...I have been sitting...and thinking...I have been sleeping on things, while tossing and turning and waking up and going back to sleep and waking up again only a few hours later and repeat...I have been contemplating and processing...and so on and so forth... ...and though, this is not something that has recently popped into my mind, as I have been thinking about this a lot over time...; this is something that has been recently pushed to the forefront of my mind with recent events, as I will admit and be completely honest about that... I have come to a decision about potential "serious dating relationships" - or really, any type of style of the sort...; ...when they come to pertaining to myself...as...well...
I am just going to lay it right out there on the line...and it is going to be what it is going to be...

Those who are interested/those who read this/those...well...those...

Here it is...
  • 1.) I guess...what it boils down to...is...sigh...I guess...sigh...in a way...I am giving up...and I do not mean in the way of giving up on life...but I mean in the way of giving up on running away... ...sigh... I guess...sigh...what I am trying to say...is...I m giving up on not trying to try...or...umm...sigh...
...I am giving up on not giving things a try...or...whatever...or...however...or...ummm...the way one says it...
I am NOT saying that I am actively seeking a serious and romantic dating relationship; - ...but...I am...I guess...saying...I may not pass one up, if someone genuinely and truly puts forth the effort into showing their interest in me...
HOWEVER...with that being said...going into #2
  • 2.) You have read the above...so...you know what you are getting into... So, with that; there is no room for any complaints, whining, bitching, moaning, or anything of the sort, etc., when it comes to getting involved with me; as you were well informed of who I am, what are the most important factors that are in my life/that a/that make my life what it is/etc.... We can discuss things and situations, openly and honestly, without any problems - and do not think for one second, that I will allow you to use my children/injuries/etc against me in an argument for your gain or for you to have an upper hand or for you to guilt me or etc.
  • 3.) I am a Spiritualist. I have studied and do study a variety of forms of different spiritual paths. I enjoy it. I revel in it. I have, will, and do talk with those who enjoy conversations on those topics. I believe in a Multi-Faceted Divine Spiritual Being, Faeries, and Dragons; among other Spiritual Entities.
  • 4.) I am a Deviant within the BDSM Lifestyle, and I am a Dominant Female who is a Sensual Sadist. I am **NOT** a dominatrix; one who is paid for her services within the Lifestyle, as that is something completely different, and something that I do not do. I have friends who are, and those who are interested in those services, I can recommend you to them.
  • 5.) Yes, I know that I have tattoos. They all have a different meaning to me, and they all are spiritual, in their own way. They are not a sign of rebellion against anything. I did not get my first tattoo until after I was 24 years old; so I knew what I was doing and what I was getting myself into. I was not some 18 year old kid, thinking it was cool and I do not regret starting my artwork; nor will I. So...short of the long...I will cover up my tattoos when I feel it is appropriate...DO NOT TELL ME/ASK ME/ADVISE ME/HINT TO ME/ETC that I should think about, much less actually do your idea of covering up my tattoos... If I want to...I will...if I do not want to...I will not... However, on that note...I do not go out and broadcast my tattoos...the majority of my tattoos are where one cannot see them, unless I wore specific clothing...so...on that note... Shut up...
Now, ***IF you have gotten to this point, AND*** you are still (?) interested... - ...here are more instructions... - ...some of these...are plain ol' common sense (which apparently is a super power these days...but...)...some of these, are for personal notations in case of emergency, as, yes, I will admit, I am a safety nazi...and some of these...are just so that you know that I mean business...

~ 1.) Legal name/name you go by daily/nick name(S)/scene name
~ 2.) BDSM Lifestyle orientation
~ 3.) What is the Lifestyle role in relation to you?
~ 4.) What is the Lifestyle role in relation to you, in the aspect to a Female Dominant?
~ 5.) What are you looking for in general and from me? Mentally? Emotionally? Physically? Spiritually?
~ 6.) What is your first idea of how to please me, in each way?
~ 7.) What are your hard and soft limits?
~ 8.) What do you want to improve?
~ 9.) What is special about you?
~ 10.) What has drawn you to me?
~ 11.) Biography about yourself?
~ 12.) Medical conditions?
~ 13.) Fears?
~ 14.) Sensitive skin/allergies/PTSD/triggers/traumatic incidents/etc?
~ 15.) What type of submissive/slave are you?
~ 16.) What type of play have you experienced?
~ 17.) What type of play would you like to try?
~ 18.) What type of play scares you?
~ 19.) Last relationship?
~ 20.) Anything else I should know?

So...those are my questions, that I demand answered, before even an inkling of a thought of a beginning of a conversation of a possible get together can occur...
Just as an F.Y.I....
So...I guess...yes...I may be "putting myself out there"...to a degree...kinda...

It is ALL going to be ON MY TERMS...PERIOD AND END OF STORY...

  • Note: I suggest you also read my writings...on ...
  • Note: If you have/are (looking at) a male genital piercing; I am most likely not going to be interested as genital piercings are unappealing, unattractive, ugly, uninteresting, abbrassive in the bad way, annoying...and just all around unpleasant from the experience I have had with them and seen from them. That's why there was only 1 male who was ever dated with one, I would never date a female version for they just disgust me and it would take A LOT for me to stomach it on my girl...it just doesn't do it for me...

These are my wants/needs/desires...

- 1) I want to have, will have, and will be with someone who is completely honest within themselves and with me at all times; saying what they mean and meaning what they say as I do the same in return. If you cannot abide by this, then move along. I will not tolerate someone who cannot walk the walk.
- 2) I deserve to be, will be in the beginning and always, honorably courted and cherished in all ways. - 3) My submissive will respect me.
- 4) My submissive will adore me.
- 5) My submissive will serve me.
- 6) My submissive will worship me.
- 7) My submissive will ____ me.
- 8) I am a Sensual Sadist, meaning I can play light or I can play hard; it all depends on my mood, my bottom/submissive, and what I feel like doing/what I may have planned. I can be as evil or as sweet as I want to be, but I make sure all are always having a good time.
- 9) I enjoy putting my submissive/bottom into sub-space in my time, when I allow. HOWEVER, I AM a sadist.
- 10) I will not respond to random friend requests. You must contact me first before sending me a request, otherwise you will be denied.
- 11) I do not want to see your tiny, little, pathetic penis. It is not impressive. It does not make who you are no matter how little or "big" you may think it is. I do not care...that is not what I measure a male by. If that is what you measure yourself by, then you can mosey down to the next person... So profile pictures with cocks that do a friend request without contacting me AUTOMATICALLY will be denied.
- 12) If you do not have a real picture of you in your profile, do not even bother contacting me. Same thing if it is just a picture of a body part other than your face; I.e. ass, legs, arms, etc.
- 13) I do not cyber.
- 14) I will not do online relationships.
- 15) I will not do any video cam with you.
- 16) I will not do long distance relationships. You will always travel to me.
- 17) I like to play both fe/male, but only when I feel comfortable. You want me to feel comfortable? Do not be creepy. Do not touch me without permission. Do not act rudely. Be polite. Be yourself. But if you want to play, you will approach me, for rarely, very very very rarely, do I approach others.
- 18) You will address me as either Ma'am or My Lady.
- 19) You will offer to light my cigarette before lighting your own.
- 20) You will fill out the application.
Until you prove yourself…I will provide the restraints; you provide your own damn collar...from there…I will take the lead…

Take me as I am or walk away with the brightest of blessings...

I am me...I am not changing for anyone unless I want to make the change within myself... And that is not to say that I am not going to grow in any way, shape, or form; it is that I am not going to change in order to appease you or anyone that I do not care to appease, for I am my own person. I am a Dominant Female...Mistress to whom I select...M'Lady to those whom I grant the allowance to play with...Ma'am to most...and sadly...or maybe appropriately...bitch to some...and cunt to others... But guess what...I am proud of all...for I am me...
By the way...if you think you are going to insult me by calling me a cunt; let me tell you something... The cunt is the best part of the female...so it is a COMPLIMENT...so...thank you. I forgive you for being bitter. Maybe think about anger management next time...

But back to my profile...

… yes…I am a feminist…a supporter of EQUAL female rights…not female supremacy…there IS a difference… Thank you for your time and have a nice day. Brightest blessings. Ms_MeeLing

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JessicaTemptress
 
 Age: 40
 Manchester, United Kingdom