Worthy

submission

is my choice

and yet… my calling;

my compulsion.

i need to find the individual

in whom i can see a reflection of myself

who I know is worthy of this precious gift:

my body,  my obedience,  my submission.

i need to share myself,

i need to give myself,

to offer my complete surrender

to one who will own me

and i will belong to them

and then i can be whole.

i must not settle for less than

my true match worthy of this gift:

my whole self, mind, heart and body.

my soul is my own and always will be.

yet, it is the evolution of such that makes me

who and what I am and the purity of what i offer.

i am worthy of loving truly;

i am worthy of being truly loved

by the one I choose to possess me

New at this,
Not new at being me.
New on the scene
Yet I know myself very well.
Submissive,
Not ignorant.
Loving, giving, serving… hoping.
Seeking to heal the inner child,
Yet not child-like.
A grown woman with self-respect
And self-love
Seeking more.
Learning to trust.

This sucks.

a true sub like me, is trusting.

So this is the perfect venue for parasites and predators

which means that

i can only be burned

so many times

before i just run and hide.

Enough is enough.

be who you claim to be.

i am.

Be willing to prove it.

i am.

Deep Sigh....

One full week here & i am quite honestly fed up and exhausted.

i give up.

You win, CM. 

Does having a brain

Make me less of a sub?

Does having a heart

Make me too real?

Does having confidence

Make me too difficult?

Does being mature

Make me a challenge?

Does wanting it all

Make it impossible to find?

We shall see.
We shall see.