Today, I was thinking whether I could live without this in my life - considering that it would make finding a partner sooo much easier it is a thought that I am sure that we have all considered at some point. 

As the frustration of this and other sites rings out from a number of profiles and journals I don't feel that my premise is incorrect but here it is - simply i could not do it.   For me this is my life, it is such an ingrained part of me that not to have it hurts.  

There is something so special about the relationship between a sub and her dom and I use her as that is what i have experience of, but that relationship cannot be replicated in the same way in vanilla - yes there are strong and hugely successful relationships but that is for others and not for me as for me this is like the tell tale heart just a manifestation that I need this. 

So what do I do from here because we have to leave this on a high, I don't want you all slashing wrists in unison - the answer is patience because as my mum says nothing good is ever easy.  

J

Rain is absolutely pouring down :( no run for me today - oh well swim at the gym. 

Many thoughts run through my head, mostly not stated on here but as I am here I thought i would give vent to some. 

- Do we believe that those poor people who add photos to the multiplicity of social network sites have ever thought they would end up here - fodder for a man to capture the attention of someone?

- Is it only me that checks the plugs on a picture to see if they are US in nature?

Well those will do ... i feel at peace.

Every touched or been touched in a way that made the world collapse in on itself - that is the way that this makes me feel. It comes naturally and it is amazing.

The shame is that feeling is like a narcotic - making you want more, and like a narcotic the feeling when it is not there is telling.

How does it make you feel, make you express yourself - make you act ?

Well my photography is not getting the time afforded to it that I wish so made a conscious decision to take sometime and enter some shots in a few competitions. 

Reminded about what makes a great Sunday afternoon, tea, papers and friends.   Sitting in the garden for a bit and enjoying the sun.

Just downloading Eureka from iTunes wondering what i have missed. 

Sometimes things make you smile and this place is no different - well recently it is. 

Sleep seems to be something that is evading me at the moment, it is that state where you are too wide awake to sleep and too tired to do anything meaningful.

Oh well off to read the papers online and Dilbert, or catch up on some episodes of Fringe.

Delicious sunday lunch 

Enjoying a delightful cup of tea. 

So tell me does my catholic background mean that i was destined for deviance ?