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| Plain and simple... I'm moving, and almost everything I have is needing a new home. I've been around the block or two, for many years, and now thanks to medical conditions beyond my control... I'm going home to my family for the help I need. This side of me, this part of my life... It has to be left behind. It's very hard for me, but life is what it is for me now.
(15 Jan, 2013) I have sold most of my things, but still have items that I can no longer keep. If you're in my area, I'm selling...
Please don't try to tell me with the right Dom or Master, I could keep what I'm having to walk away from. Too many tears have already been shed, and I'm already having to say goodbye to the One I love. The wheels are in motion, and my move is coming fast.
If you're in my area and are seriously interested, please read my journal entries from yesterday and then contact me. You'll find an inventory of sorts and what I'm asking.
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I don't have much left... and I'd love to just be done with this. I have quite a few hand made leather collars, my thick "posture" like collar with a locking buckle, a few canes, and some misc items like a rope flogger (only good for cooldowns), thumb cuffs, ring-work leashes, etc.... There's probably $600 worth of items, and if someone wants to come take what's left (still selling single items at first come, first served), I'll take $300 for the lot.
My move is coming fast and I just want this done.
(No, the lot does not come with the ballchain flogger, that's still being sold separately... as is the bondage chair) |
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Ok, so my move is getting way too close, and I started getting curious about what kind of lifestylers there are up in WA state. I love search filters...
Why is it there are so few women up there?? Seriously... I have my filters for all types and all genders, and I encounter maybe one girl for every 20 males. Of course, that the age range of 30-50, but c'mon! Seriously??
And the profiles... I have read so many of them and been bored to tears! Or one I saw was a girl who put in her journal if you're a pretentious douche, don't contact her... Nevermind that her profile pics are geared towards displaying herself like a piece of meat. And she wonders why jerks email her. Gee, let me think about this...
There have been some intriguing profiles, and some amusing... but all in all, I'm not so sure about making friends up there. I still hope, but it's looking glum.
Why can't people put real thought into what they write? Or at the very least... PROOF read it? It's the first glimpse into who and what they are. Plus, it'd give me better reading material!
Oh well, I suppose I'll figure it out once I get up there. |
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Ballchain flogger, my main profile picture - Thus far my highest offer is $85 for it. Only a few days left before I sell it, so if you're interested in it, you should contact me now with your offer. OUT OF AREA interests... If you're willing to pay shipping, I'm willing to take your offer too.
For an inventory of sorts on the rest of my equipment for sale, read down two journal entries. |
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If you're interested in anything I'm selling, it's best to contact me soon and arrange to come view what's left. There may not be a huge selection (except collars... lots of those still. A lot are new and unused since being made), but what I do have is going to go fast.
Update: My black short whip has been claimed.
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The past couple weeks have been rough for me. I'm having more bad days than good... so I appologize to those who were interested and I didn't get back to you.
GEAR: I've sold quite a lot, but I still have items for sale.
Collars - most are hand made leather, and a couple are one-of-a-kind. I still have one collar with a locking buckle available too. After consideration, Imve decided to sell these for $10-$20 a piece on average. There are a couple exceptions to this... like the locking collar. I'm asking $50 for it. It's brown, thick leather and has never been used. The locking buckle fits small standard key locks. I have one intended for it for an additional $5 if you want it.
Leashes - I have a couple remaining. They're ringwork, and not just a length of leather. That's what makes them so unique. I'm asking $30 a piece. One has brass colored rings, and the other silver... with brown leather.
Cuffs - I still have my matching set of wrist and ankle cuffs. They're brown leather and I'm asking $60 for the set. They come with a matching two sided clasp "hog tie." This is not a three way, it only has two clasps.
Floggers - There are a couple light floggers still here. All my heavy ones have been sold. They're great for warm-up and cool-downs, or the beginner. I'm asking $20 each for them. Two have never been used since they were made.
Ballchain Flogger - This is a high interest item. As such, I'm selling this one to the highest offer. In the past, before I was willing to sell it, I have been offered anywhere from $40-$100+ for it. It's great for sensation play, and people have talked about it's impact possibilities. One Dom even spoke of rigging it for his violet wand play. Yes, it's really metal!
Whips - Most are sold, but I have a couple "mean" short whips remaining. I'm asking $40 each. One of them you will not find at any vendor as it was an in-home specialty. The kodiak claw whip was also a one-of-a-kind creation and won't ever be duplicated.
Canes - I have a few left. They're difficult to describe, but one is about 2 feet long made for me by former friends. I have a long cane over-braided with leather and tipped with a whip tail. Finally, I have an incredibly unique cane specially braided with rainbow cording. This one is not for the novice or inexperienced hands! It's never been used, but was "feel" tested and it is wicked! Prices are $20 each, and $60 for the corded one.
Bondage Chair - It's still available. It's a heavy and durable chair that's been customized for this purpose. Made of wood and a vinyl padding for easy washing and/or sanitation. It was once rigged to be used with a TENS unit as an "electric chair" of sorts. The maker was preparing to add removable medical stirrups to the frame, which I do have but you'll have to figure out your own way of mounting them. I can only tell you what his intentions were for that part. I'm asking $100 for the chair and stirrups together. If you're interested in JUST the stirrups, we can talk, but I'd like to sell them together.
Misc - I have other odd-ball items available as well for those who come here and are interested in them... including a bamboo skewer slapper that builds in intensity as it's used. Average asking... $20 per item. |
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I still have things for sale, but I've been having some bad days and been unable to direct my attention towards this matter. |
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So tired, I feel as though I may pass out... too sea sick from the vertigo to do anything about it.
So here I am, back on collarme answering more questions. Here's an update on my gear....
Still have quite a bit to sell, including a vast selection of leather collars I couldn't begin to describe, nor do justice to.
I still have a couple paddles, and a couple slappers. Although the red dragon-tongue matched set pictured in my pics was sold. I have light floggers, and three tails, and short quirt singles. I have a couple canes still, my cuffs set, blindfolds, leather barbed wire roses, my body harness, the bondage chair, some edge play and sensory play, and yes... I still have the ballchain flogger. It's the most asked after item since I posted pics, and since so many are interested in it... I'm considering selling it to the highest bidder rather than first-come, first-served as people are having to schedule coming here not only around their availability, but my good days. Makes things more difficult when they're available, but my head says no. So, unless someone comes here and makes a really good offer for it -cash in hand, that may be what I'll do.
Oh, and yes... to the Dom interested in it, I do still have the kodiak claw whip as of tonight. |
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Day by day... sometimes minute by minute. That's what it's taking for me to get through all this.
This really has nothing to do with my reason for being here, so if you're interested in my items, you should skip this entry.
However...As my items get sold, a little more of what I used to be goes with them. I think the saddest part of it all is that I will never be able to create them again. I run my fingers over the braids, and while the skills and knowledge is there... the love and passion for it... the ability is gone. I can't set rivets without rattling my head and piercing my own ears. I can't do the intricate braiding and knotwork without my eyes glitching on me and causing me pain. My fingers are no longer steady enough to carve or punch the leather. And all that is on a good day.
So much that is, or rather was, a part of me is now lost to me. People keep saying that I'm young, and that once I get settled into my new life, I'll find a way to have this lifestyle again. But, in truth, they haven't met my family... the ones that will be responsible for my care once I move.
And to add insult to injury, I still get hit on by Doms who think they're special enough to magically connect with me and lure me into their hands. Those who think that my being here has some kind of alternative motive behind the false curtain of selling my things.
What can I say? It's the internet, and people will be stupid. But I wish they would just understand. I don't know why. I shouldn't care, and part of me doesn't... and yet, it still bothers me. But it's my problem. It's me, and I think it has to do with all the other swarming chaos I'm having to cope with right now.
I wish something... anything... could be simple. I wish I knew why I feel compelled tonight to write all this. It's not like it really matters. It's not like this is actually going to be read. Well, ok... maybe it will be. And maybe you'll care when you do. Maybe you'll think I need to just stop complaining. Maybe... maybe I'm in so much pain that I just need to say it, and you're not being forced to read it, so it doesn't matter what you actually think about it.
And maybe a small part of me is hoping that by doing this, that the One I love and had to say goodbye to will somehow feel me tonight, as I miss him more than I can even begin to say.
Someone told me I should call him, tell him all the things I feel and wish I could say to him. That I should tell him what I wish for, and how badly I'm hurting... said that maybe he's hurting too. But I think, and I'm scared, that by talking to him again, it'll just make the pain new all over again. It won't stop what's happening, and I'll just end up having to say goodbye all over again. I have too much I need to get done between now and my move. As much as I'm hurting now, that would make it even harder on me.
So much lost already. So much still fading away. I'd say I hate my life... but at this point, I'm not even alive anymore. Hopefully I'll find a new way of living once I reach Washington.
I wonder how much someone can live when their welbeing becomes dependent on a family that has never actually cared enough to know who they are. |
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Pictures, pictures, pictures... the most highly asked for request! I keep trying to get them so I can post them, but then the items sell out the door before I can post them! So, here's the deal... I'm posting pictures, but no guarantee that I'll still have what's shown here. However, at least you can get an idea of what type of quality and designs and stuff. KEEP IN MIND: These are only a few samples, and not the ONLY items I have.
As for an update, my heavy floggers are gone. I still have lighter ones, but if you want heavy... you're too late. My wax play candles went out the door last night, right along with my pink elkhide flogger. Sorry, I know this one is breaking someones heart who was planning to return. Most of my canes are gone, But I do have a couple that are on the meaner end of the spectrum and not for novice hands. My slappers are popular, but I still have quite a few of them... from nice to mean. I still have some edge play items, sensory play, whips, blindfolds, cuffs (wrist and ankles matching leather set), leashes, a LOT of collars - most so unique you won't find elsewhere, and not just standard black and brown colors, ONE collar with a locking buckle, a custom made leather body harness (how this hasn't sold is a miracle of circumstance for the people who keep wanting it), my bondage chair with part for convertion with medical stirrups, two display racks (been using them for my gear and shows for years), and other fun toys...
What's your interest? I may still have it! |
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Whips, floggers, paddles, slappers, canes, collars, leashes, blindfolds, a unique custom made body harness, unused wax play candles, edge play items, sensory play items, even a bondage chair... it's all too much to really list. You'll have to come see it for yourself. I'll post some pictures soon.
How much? Reasonable offers accepted. Most items don't have set prices, but don't think I don't know their worth. Serious interests only, and serious offers only.
Yes, I've been asked a few times!! LOL |
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My toys, my equipment, even my display racks are for sale... - ... Not me.
Flattered though I may be at the offers, I am not looking for a Dom to care for me. My move is because my family will be doing that.
No, if a connection is there, I would not be willing to consider relocating to anyone. First off, there won't be a connection, and secondly... I'm already moving! Thirdly, and this one is huge, with my move, I am leaving this lifestyle behind me. Because of my health, I simply cannot do it anymore. It's always going to be in my heart, and the memories will be mine to secretly relive until they are lost to me... but I will not be kneeling to another Master again. I've already shattered what remained of my heart by having to say goodbye to the one I had. Don't be so arrogant in thinking you can swoop in and change what has happened, what currently is, and what now... must be.
And finally, no... there is no chance for play. My health doesn't allow for it anymore, and even on a good day, with all the right circumstances and precautions, I would still say no.
You are not the one I want. You are not the one I had to say goodbye to. You are not the one I still cry over. So please, respect that... accept that even though I had to walk away from him and say goodbye, he still holds my heart, and all my loyalty.
It's funny though, because he always doubted trust. Every man was a threat, and given the right opportunity, I still think he believed I would have betrayed him. Now here I am, technically free to do as I please... technically every bit as much his as I was the day he claimed me. I wonder what he'd think about that. I wonder how I'm going to live with the loneliness... |
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| Age: 38 |
| Spokane,
Washington |
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