I'm starting to think all those American female subs who are viewing my profile might not be 100% legitimate... Especially when different profiles are apparently of twins, since they have the same picture.

It's actually funny to figure out the formula that is used to generate profile names. And a website is truly succesfull only when the spammers are interested.

Back from Rome. 4 days of 35 degrees centigrade (95 Fahrenheit) and so much to see. I was especially suprised by the colours of the city and it is a wonder they had any marble left.

Definitely worth repeating sometime, after the blisters on my feet have healed :-)

Off to Rome for the week!

I don't send women messages through this site very often. Mostly because there are not that many profiles that seem compatible. But when I do, I have to play the waiting game and I'm not very good at that. Patience, patience... It's a virtue and I try to be happy with the chance to practice it, although I hope I won't have to practice for too long :-)

I always get blindsided when a series I watch has an SM-inspired episode.

In the day to day, I'm coping with submission having a very limited place - well, no place at all, really - in my life and not having one for a long time. I'm dealing with it and try to be happy regardless.  

But when I sit and watch an epsiode where usually some murder has been commited and the investigators delve into the world of SM to find the killer, all the things I'm coping with seem to amplify and wash over me like a wave: being alone; not having someone to talk to; to touch. It's difficult to watch, but I do it anyway. 

So for 50 minutes or so, it all washes over me and I feel sad. And when it's over, I start coping again. Until the next time...

So,update time! I made the 3k pushup challenge with a couple of days to spare. Last days were hard but I'm proud of the small success. Unfortunately, I lightly bruised a rib two weeks ago, - in an ordinary fall, nothing interesting - which set me back a bit. Just now picking up the weights again.

Today I got my Kindle, and boy, is it easy to buy books now. Although a lot of the literary classics are free. I've always wanted to read Moby Dick. Anyone have any titles they want to recommend?  

Joined a 3k push up challenge for charity last week and already have the first 1000 done.

Having the weight room at the gym all to myself for 2 hours was quite nice. Now if I could only chose my own music. :-)

I'm down to 88kgs/193 lbs with a body fat percentage of 18,5. It's really motivating to see that all the hard work is paying off.

I also got some new excercises at the gym, just to mix things up a bit, and I swear my trainer could be a Domina, tiny and blonde as she is. She seems to enjoy making me push just that little bit further. And I don't mind either, naturally.

You can catch glimpses of your dream Domina in the weirdest places. For instance in Terry Pratchett's television adaptation of Going Postal, which I saw at a friend's place tonight. I'm referring to the character Adora Belle Dearheart, as played by Claire Foy.

If you are anything like her - the character, obviously, I don't know the actress - and you're reading this, please drop me a line. I would love to make your acquintance.

The movie is well worth seeing, btw.

Having a persistent cough while also having back muscle aches is not a very pleasant combination. I'm going to see a doctor about those coughs though. I don't feel sick, but it's starting to get really annoying and I don't want this to turn into something really nasty like atypical pulmonary bronchiostrastis or what have you.

Yesterday, I spent a few hours picking litter from a small beach here in Cork with some people from work. It was pretty fun actually and we moved tons of stuff, from bottles and cans up to a fridge and some pieces of an old road block. The weather was nice and it was good to see we got a lot of work done. Although there was enough trash that we could have gone on for quite a while longer. I might even see to do more volunteer work like that. Sometimes, just lifting and dragging stuff for a couple of hours is exactly what you need.

I had an interesting conversation yesterday with a Dominant Lady who pointed out something I never realized. She mentioned lots of the submissive men (and presumably also women?) actually really wanted to be treated like dirt, although she did not use the word 'dirt' here.

It's an idea I find hard to wrap my head around. Maybe because for me at least, D/s equates to love, caring and protection. Maybe because - and I am deeply submissive - I have a healthy positive sense of self worth.

It would explain something about the tone of a lot of the profiles on here. Apparently they cater to a very real need. I think I'd visit a therapist first, though.

Just wrote a mail that was a year and a half past it's due date. Fingers crossed for a positive reply and a chance for a new beginning.

Internet is working again after I let my router cool down. And there I was blaming the Irish Cro-magnonesque infrastructure. Guess I was wrong about that. It really is a wonderful country when you learn to love its quirks...

Happy Holidays, everyone!

I got a message from a lovely Lady just now, gently reminding me to write an update about the situation with my cat. Nothing much has changed, I'm afraid. I'm still weighing my options. Do I really want to put him through the stress of a Ferry trip just to get him here? Isn't he better off where he is now? he's doing well, is healthy and is loved and taken good care of

But then, do I want to adopt a cat here? The animal shelter where I volunteer is always happy to rehome some of their animals. I'm not sure yet though. It just wouldn't be the same.

Getting my cat to Ireland will be a bit more trouble than I thought and hoped. Apparently, neither Ryanair nor Aerlingus can transport pets anymore. And there are only a few approved routes and carriers. I would need to make a detour over Warsaw to get him here by plane, or Bahrain. For some reason, that is also an approved route.

The other way is to bring him here by ferry, which means first brining him all the way to the French Atlantic coast in a box and then take a 12 hour boat ride. And ah, yes, the service doesn't recommence until April. By that time, his blood test results will probably have become invalid again. Sigh.

And here it is. I hope you enjoy it.

At the movies

It’s Friday evening and I’m at the local cinema. I’ve made myself comfortable in the rear of the theatre and while I wait for the movie to begin I watch the other people come in and settle down. It’s the sneak preview, so there’s no knowing which movie it’ll be but that does mean there are just a few other people.

I hear the clicking of high heels on the floor and I look up to see the most beautiful black woman enter the theatre. Her long curly hair dances as she looks around the room. Our eyes meet and she gives me a dazzling smile. I smile back feeling sheepish. As she lithely crosses over through the rows I get a good look at her body: dark chocolate colour, long lean legs and a black woollen dress that hugs her every shape and curve. She picks a chair in front of me and plops down. Her curls fall over the back of the seat, tantalizingly close,  and all I would have to do is reach out and… All of a sudden she turns around and throws me another one of those magical smiles. “Be a sweetheart and get me something to drink.” My body responds almost involuntarily, getting out of the chair and moving towards the exit and the bar outside. It must have been the tone of here voice; totally pleasant but it made clear that it had never even crossed her mind that I would do anything other than obey. I’m halfway to the doors before my brain gets into the right gear and I ask: “What would you like?” “Oh, surprise me”.

When I return the promo’s have started the room is dark. I stumble my way back to her seat by the light of the screen. I hand her a small cup of coke with a straw and start to move back to my own seat. “Won’t you sit next to me?” she says with a small, playful pout. Of course I will! I sit down next to her and watch as she examines her drink. Her lips cover the straw and she takes a small sip. Her eyes widen with surprise and she smiles a 100-watt smile again. “You little devil, you. Just the way I like it” As this theatre has a proper bar attached, I asked the bartender to mix a bit of Safari into her drink and my heart flutters at her appreciation.

We settle in to watch the movie, which turns out to be the latest George Clooney movies. I’m not paying it much attention as my brain is buzzing and I’m slowly getting intoxicated on her scent. She must know I’m looking more at her than at the movie. I put my arm on the armrest between us and suddenly her hand covers mine and I’m electrified at her touch. She feels smooth as silk. She curls up to me and brings here face close to mine. I can feel her warmth as she whispers in my ear “I need you to be really quiet, kitten. Can you do that for me?” “I’ll try” I whisper back hoarsely. She grabs my wrist firmly and whispers: “No, don’t try, yes or no. What will it be, kitten?” “Yes, yes” I manage to stutter as fireworks are going of inside my head. “Good, you won’t be disappointed” she breathes and with that she let’s go of my wrist and drags one of her perfectly manicured nails up my arm. The agony is blissful and I can just stifle a moan. “Quiet now, kitten, remember” as she drags her nail slowly back down my arm.

She caresses my hand and gently takes hold of my little finger. She starts stroking that finger and it’s as if there was a direct connection between it and my penis. I can feel every touch, every stroke on my finger as if she had her hand around my cock. She gently circles and jerks my pinkie, dragging a nail over the top or gliding her fingers up and down along the side. With her free hand, she finds her way under my sweater and starts to stroke my belly. There is nothing I can do, or would want to do, other than give myself into the sensation. Gently she coaxes me into it, with playful rubs or scratches. Finally, with a shudder and a sigh, the universe explodes into infinite pleasure as I manage to release everything and cum like I never came before. It surpasses any physical orgasm I ever had by miles and miles.

Through half-closed eyes I see her smiling up at me. She snuggles up close and pulls my arm around her. I’m limp as my brain scrambles to get everything back on track again, but it is faced with overwhelming odds of bliss and relaxation and I savour that perfect moment for as long as I can. Here, now, with her in my arms, the world is perfect.

When the credits are rolling across the screen, I awaken out of the blissful state I was in as she grabs me by the wrist again and gently leads me to the exit. We get our coats and head outside. She moves towards a car, her car, and I say: “Wait, I don’t even know your name” “I know kitten, I know. But I will see you next week, won’t I?” she responds and again there is no trace of doubt in here voice. “Most definitely!”.  “Good!” and with that, she gets into her car and drives off into the night, leaving me confused but delighted in the parking lot. Gods, I’m looking forward to next week.