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I have a little experience with D/s. I had a long term relationship a while back, where my partner started to learn more about his Dominant side, and I was completely vanilla. I resisted all the kinks; frankly, it scared me. However, after many years, he showed me some aspects of D/s that I truly find beautiful. I find myself much more open minded these days than I was back then. If you're reading this (you know who you are...), thank you.
I find myself sometimes explaining to friends some of these concepts (which I completely understand are not blanket truths, but rather my perspective on them) and often get some wide-eyed stares. Wouldn't be the first time someone thought I was weird...
At this point, I am not quite sure what I am looking for. Ultimately, I want a committed relationship, but am open to other varieties of experiences. What I have realized though, is that I don't want just garden-variety physical sex. The psychological aspect (although exhausting sometimes) is crucial for me. Like many people, I have my share of hang-ups, and I find that the psychology of sex is essential for me being able to let go.
My favorite sexual feeling is gratitude. If I don't respect, admire, or love the person I'm with, I don't want to please them, and that ruins the whole experience for me. I get turned on by giving to someone who I feel deserves my care and attention. Conversely, I can't let go and truly enjoy a physical encounter with someone I am not intellectually and emotionally connected to.
I am still coming to terms with some things about myself. My most recent discovery is that I love being slapped on the face and choked. I am embarrassed by it because I don't understand it. I also don't think that just anyone could do it. A level of trust and care is necessary before that experience is worthwhile. I don't consider myself extremely kinky. There are some things that I am willing to do for my partner, but aren't necessarily for me. However, from talking to other people in my life, it appears that I am much more open-minded than most people.
Here are some things I am NOT into:
*Blood/cutting
*Humiliation
*Scat/Golden showers
Here are some physical details about me:
- Dark brown hair
- Very fair skin
- 5'7", 230 lbs
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