The same criteria I use to define myself outside of the lifestyle still applies within. A relationship, partnership with another (woman+sub) will be viewed and decided based on the virtues and attributes I look for in any individual I'm interested in and is interested in me... truth, honesty, locality to me as I to her, respect, commitment, character (I have a big list so will stop here).... I don't do "casual" therefore, if a sub/woman is just looking for a "play partner" I choose not to just "play." I personally need more substance than the "acts" and the desire to Dominate for the sake of having a sub/slave- don't fit into what "I" need or want in "my" world the play partner only thing. Therefore for me, belonging means we are both considering the "long haul" of building a foundation to transcend and evolve into a loving, compatible partnership. We both are going into this thing that we do stepping out on faith that it will be more than a season... hopeful of a lifetime. Finding that One who will be equally yoked to "you" kinda thang.