Everyone I have ever spoken to, everything I have ever known or within popular culture has taught me that going crazy...feeling the clawing and swirling white chaos of your mind slowly slipping out of your control is scary...rock bottom!
No one told me it was possible to go out of your mind while grinding your hips into your own sofa.
Or being driven to plunge your own fingers...hand, over and over again into your own dripping pussy!
Imagining the images and dark shapes above me holding me down and releasing me from that fight for control.
To feel the comfort of no control is my unattainable goal! What stops me from ever feeling the pleasure or fulfillment.
It is a singular and disturbing feeling to be driven crazy by the need for a lust and a filling the likes of which I have never felt before!
How my own imagination teases me constantly... |