You have the right to be treated with respect.

Not only do you have this right, you have the right to demand it. Being submissive does not make you a doormat or less of a person than anyone else. The word "submissive" describes your nature and in no way diminishes you as a human being. You have the right to respect yourself as well.

You have the right to be proud of what you are.

Being a submissive is nothing that should ever bring you shame or feelings of reproach. Your submissive nature is a gift and should always be a source of pride and happiness.

You have the right to feel safe.

Being a submissive should not make you feel afraid, insecure or threatened. Submission is not about living on the edge or flirting with fear. In any situation you should feel safe or there can never be true surrender.

You have the right to your emotions and feelings.

Your emotions and feelings come from you and they are just as valid as anyone else's. You have a right to them. Those feelings, whether positive or negative, make you who you are and suppressing them will only bring unhappiness later.

You have the right to express your negative feelings.

Being submissive does not make you an object that no longer has negative thoughts or concerns.Your concerns are real and you have every right to express them. If something doesn't feel right, bothers you, makes you feel bad or you just plain don't like something, say so. Failing to express your negative feelings could give the mistaken impression that you are pleased or satisfied with something that is not pleasurable or agreeable.

You have the right to say NO.

Being submissive does not take away your right to have dislikes or negative feelings about things. If something is happening or about to happen that you feel strongly opposed to, it's your duty to speak up. Remember, failing to communicate your 'NO' can be confused with an ongoing 'YES'. When anything in your consensual scene makes you feel unsafe in any way, communicate that, and remove any doubt.

You have the right to expect happiness in life.

Being submissive is not tantamount to being miserable, suffering or a life of despair. Your submission should bring you joy, peace and fulfillment. If it doesn't, then something is wrong.

You have the right to have input in a relationship.

You are an active partner in any relationship you enter and have every right to contribute to it. You are submissive, not passive. A relationship that doesn't include your needs, thoughts, hopes and desires is not one you should be in to begin with. This applies to friendships, partnerships and D/s relationships.

You have the right to belong.

Being submissive greatly involves the feeling of belonging. Many submissives have expressed that it was in discovering their submissive nature that they felt as through they "belonged" for the first time in their lives. You belong to the lifestyle and will eventually belong to the One. It's in that relationship you should find the final fulfillment of "belonging" at last.

You have the right to be loved and to love.

Anyone who tells you that love doesn't fit into a D/s relationship has never experienced the fulfillment of all it truly can be. Submissives are by nature loving and needing of love and have every right to expect this to be a part of their lives. It takes love to bring your submission into full bloom, so don't settle for less.

You have the right to be healthy.

Health involves your physical, mental and emotional well-being. Any relationship, D/s or otherwise, that causes you to suffer physically, mentally or emotionally, beyond your limits, is abuse. There is no place for abusive behavior in a D/s relationship and it's up to you to make sure those lines are not crossed. Being a submissive does not give anyone the right to harm or injure you in any way. The D/s community will stand behind you if you should encounter such a situation but you are the one who has to make them aware before they can help.

You have the right to practice safe sex.

Not only is this a right, it's a duty to yourself and others you may come into contact with at a later date. Sexually transmitted diseases have reached epidemic proportions and must be a concern to any sexually active person. Safe Sex is something you have the right to insist upon and protecting yourself should never be discouraged by anyone who really has your best interests at heart.

Author Unknown

Feeling rather reflective this morning, I decided to share some of my "thoughts."  BSDM has been interwoven in humans from the very beginning of our existence. It is in our DNA, our wiring, etc.  It has been documented in every history book, including the Christian Bible.  Our societies are based on hierarchy, dominance, organized leadership.  Some of us are the "Dominants" and some of us are the "Submissive," regardless of our gender.  It is just who we are...  in my opinion there is a natural aspect of this in our everyday lives, someone sets the boundaries and we choose to follow them without question or push them to see how vulnerable they are. 

So then why does there seem to be a complete focus of this trait online to the actions of sexual arousal?  How did we get so far into the online autonomy that we feel it is proper or correct to ask stranger how they would "submit" or "dominant"  without learning about the other person or in most cases asking their name. If the focus in so narrow that you don't see the person for who they are, how then can a relationship develop.  

I do not spend time on CM just find a partner, I enjoy reading the profiles, reading journals, chatting with others as I would at a PTA social or business cocktail party.  Just as I would maintain my boundaries with a gossipy neighbor/co-worker, I have my established boundaries here.  Identifying my Submissive personality trait does not negate proper etiquette or give permission to other to negate boundaries.  

Although CM is not just a dating site there seems to be perceived impression that it is a open forum to forget that the other person is a real human being. For me the biggest turn off is people whose goal is to manipulate the situation.  If you are here to find others who will engage in anonymous mutual sexual arousal and fantasy be upfront about it.  If someone expressing that is not what they are interested in the please say have a good day and keep searching.  

Ok...  I need a second cup of coffee...  good day to everyone. 

I am very proud of my time in the scene & yes when I am asked for advice or asked to mentor someone, I tell them how long I've been in the scene. It gives them confidence that any advice I offer is genuine because I've experienced what they are going through. I've seen a lot & made great choices & some horrible choices too during my time in the scene. I try to spare them the pain I went through. Of course each path is there own & they will make their own mistakes. The one thing I have never done is lie about who I am or what I've experienced.

I am concerned that the new people in the scene should believe such general statements & take them as fact. Whereas, there are many liars amongst us, there are also a lot of really good people and that fact should not be forgotten. Nor should it matter how many years experience a person has, and letting that determine if you play with them or not.

I must speak my mind on something that I read that so disturbed me that I felt the need to vent. I was reading a thread about getting references for future play partners. When a woman made several comments regarding her experience that people, who when telling potential partners about themselves, included how many years they have been in the scene. She felt that telling her the number of years in the scene brought up a red flag for her. That the person was probably posturing like a peacock. She also states that "It isn't to say that they haven't been in the scene, my guess is just not for 15 years.". She goes on to comment that those people have more experience than someone who is new or been in the scene few years. Well, yes, obviously those in the scene for many years would have more experience. That's not a bad thing. This is a broad generalization based on her experiences. How sad that she has had those bad experiences with people.