SUBMISSIVE vs SLAVE

This distinction appears muddled, misunderstood and generalized by a great number of the people that I converse with. First I would like to make a point. Language at it's best shifts from area to area. Within this one continent we have many variations or dialects of usage. This can be seen in terms like sweeper meaning vacuum cleaner etc. So, many words used within a community can mean different things to different people based on the 'age' of the person, their background and the common usage of the area they live in.

The submissive is a volunteer.

The slave is not a volunteer.

This is the core and substantial difference between the two terms. Within the BDSM community this can be interpreted in this way. The submissive individual may be lightly, moderately or heavily submissive. The submissive has a desire to submit to the direction of another person which in this community we call the Dominant or Top. Their submission may be quite limited in range, for example, they may only want and desire to release their submission in a limited fashion, for short amounts of time and within tightly confined arena's. This type of submissive will generally carry a long list of rules, boundaries, limits, requirements etc. which they require the Dominant to agree to prior to engaging their submissive aspect within the relationship. Other submissives will have a more moderate (this is the largest group) approach, a stronger desire to submit for longer periods of time with fewer restrictions, limitations and requirements. A small percentage of submissives will be heavily submissive. They desire and look for a full time partner to live with on a full time basis. Their nature is to seek to express their submission as often as possible with the fewest restrictions upon their chosen Dominant as possible. Generally their list of limitations, rules and requirements may be verbal, short and flexible.

Additionally there is the person that calls themselves submissive who prefers to seek out only casual contacts. This person is willing to submit only so far as to address their personal needs. Their orientation toward 'serving' the other person is almost nonexistent. They will have a list of personal needs and requirements and in large part do not care who fills them. These persons tend to be called the "DO ME" subs. In my opinion they are not submissives at all, not having the basic criteria of a 'desire to serve for the pleasure of another' that is the fundamental trait I identify as submissive and Dominant. For me personally, the 'do me sub' in my eyes is a vanilla person with a kink fetish desire.

There is one other category that needs to be mentioned here. This is the terminology of bottom and masochist. In general terms a bottom is not necessarily submissive but a person who enjoys scening from the bottom position. This bottom may or may not consider themselves to be a submissive, many consider themselves to be neither submissive nor Dominant but more accurately a switch. You will note that I do not consider a bottom to be a 'do me sub', their attitude, orientation and motivation are distinctly different. In my opinion they are usually very open and honest about the submissive aspect and by virtue of that fall into their own category. I have scened with many bottoms and found them to be excellent for demo's, workshops and to help out or assist where multiple persons are useful for the fulfillment of a scene. The masochist also plays in here, a masochist is a person that enjoys pain being inflicted upon them. They do not need to be submissive at all, (similar to a bottom). However, many submissives are strongly masochistic. The masochist also is sometimes called a 'pain slut', they generally are most similar to a bottom in clarifying their distinctions from the label or identification of submissive. This form of honesty is what in my opinion makes both of these choices valid.

The SLAVE ~

The slave is beyond the last level of the submissive. The slave vacates limits. To be a slave is to offer of self fully and without reservation. From my perspective very few individuals fall into this category. Those that do, that I know personally are generally with their Dominant for a very long period of time. Trust has been long ago established, limits and range discovered and a relationship of personal strength has emerged which allows the submissive to transcend to this level. This is a level without safewords, without limits. The slave lives with their Dominant on a full time basis and may or may not have a life external of serving their mate. The slave generally selects a Dominant with parallel limits. By this I mean that the final action of trust is the vacating of set limits. In order to do this the individual must fundamentally know that their partner shares the same 'natural' or 'inviolate' limits as they do. A Dominant has limits just like a submissive. That which falls within their natural range and desire is their arena.

Many people use the term 'slave' interchangeably with submissive. I myself enjoy calling my sub's 'slaves' because it thrills them. However, I know in truth that they are not slaves, they fall within the field of the submissive. A submissive without choice (limit's - safewords) becomes a slave. They have passed that final threshold of personal trust.

One final thing to really confuse things. I have a category which I call the 'Authentic Submissive', I also call these persons 'full out or true Submissives'. This is the submissive who is auto responsive. When in top space they can and may appear to be at any level of the submissive listed above. Upon entering sub-space they lose the ability to do anything but obey. This is an automatic response. They are unable to control the response. It has been my lifelong opinion that these submissives are the 'natural slaves', they have a capacity and range far exceeding the non-auto-responsive submissive. By the way, when I find one of these quite rare authentic submissives, I am instinctively very protective of them. They are the most vulnerable members of this community.

Ok, to address a few more misconceptions. There is sometimes rampant discussion on the who is real question. Any person who states that they are submissive, switch or Dominant should be taken at their word until through action, word or deed they demonstrate otherwise. Respect is not given by virtue of having any aspect but is earned or inspired by consistent action, word or deed. The amount, number, placement, design of brandings, piercings, tattoo's etc. can but do not necessarily identify any individual by virtue of in community status. These ornamentation's are used across the entirety of the community and can be seen upon any individual regardless of Dominant or submissive status.

The easiest way to discover a person's placement within the community, be it through gender, sexual orientation, top, bottom, sideways etc... is to politely ask them. You can simply say, "What way would you prefer to be addressed?" This offers the individual the choice to tell you what they prefer so that you will not appear discourteous. By the way...courtesy is the key. You are not required to respect any unknown person. You are required to use common courtesy. Additionally, there is no right or wrong to being or believing yourself to be anything. It is not better to be one thing or the other and people should not be discriminated against for those choices they make. I offer common respect to all persons until and unless they take an action that I find disrespectful. At that point I generally elect to have no further converse with them.

One final note. There is what is loosely called a 'submissive network'. This network is a system which has existed probably since the origination of the SSC credo (safe, sane and consensual), wherein submissives within a community share information. This becomes important if you are a new person. A Dominant is only as good as the reputation they maintain within their local community. There are persons within this community who use the label Dominant, Top and even Sadist to cover their activities of non-consensual abuse. If you encounter someone who is abusive or breaks the SSC credo. Identify them in their local community. This is in real life. If you are a Dominant and you encounter a submissive who is unbalanced (mentally), by this I mean erratic, violent, abusive...share this information as neutrally as possible with the other Dominant's in your locale who may encounter this submissive. There are some persons who call themselves submissive who will turn after a scene and accuse the Dominant of abuse. Generally they have not dealt with prior, long term or life long experiences with abuse. You are not required to medically diagnose, just be open and honest. Submissives also live by their local reputation. When encountering or beginning a new relationship be honest about any occurrences which may reflect poorly on your reputation. Establishment of trust requires this. A Dominant may be accused of abuse and a submissive accused of being cracked or insane without substantiation. Imput the information and take the time to get to know the individual before making a judgment!

Bonding...

When two connect a bond is formed, this can be tenuous such as with only a play partner or quite deep with a true mate. The most graphic damage a human can sustain is within the psyche, the inner self. This may have occurred from abuse either physical, emotional or verbal or all of these. With a D/s bond the inner self is opened. This occurs with what is most commonly called subspace - though it could more accurately be described as bottom space. This is an almost trancelike condition that the submissive enters when in the presence of their chosen top. This may occur only during play initially when the chemicals release into the blood, the sub learns how to activate this state earlier as they become familiar with it. They move inside their top. Their hearing hyper-attenuates, their attention rivets.

A good top will ride the submissive 'down' into space, moving into the areas of damage and exploring them with light conversation, removing the pain still connected to them. In this state the submissive is aware but pain of any and all kinds is muffled. He or the top may strip away the feelings of shame, self hatred, denial, agony, ego diminishment. The top may take these feelings from the sub. Reminding her firmly that the glory she has become is the culmination of all she may have endured in her life. The damage becomes a distant lesson. This state is very close to traditional hypnosis, the submissive is totally suggestible and amenable to their top helping them.

This type of exploration occurs for years as the fragments slowly surface. The puzzle is put back together one piece at a time. The top rebuilds the whole of the submissive. Stripping away Fear, Pain, Guilt and Shame. Releasing the truth, the center, the beautiful one within.

This is one of the areas of direct healing from the side of the submissive.

Please note: No Dominant or Top should be considered to be an expert in psychology unless they are licensed as a doctor of psychology. Some issues of abuse and damage are far too great to be dealt with by an amateur and the submissive should seek the active assistance of an expert in these cases. When the Top and bottom share this common ground of subspace the Top has the opportunity to encourage, aid or assist in how the submissive feels about themselves through the eyes of others. This can be done using supportive, reinforcing language and sometimes simply by taking the time to talk at some length with your submissive on events in their lives which they have had great difficulty with. There is really no 'cure' for old damage but there are healthy ways to cope, deal or manage old injuries so that these injuries do not play an active role in the life of the individual today. Seeking out healthy choices is the first step in this process, anything which the individual can do to encourage healthy practices, both mentally and physically, will contribute to improved senses of well-being. This will, over time, improve overall mental and physical health

BLIND FAITH

BLIND: To conceal or to put something forward for the purpose of misleading. Subterfuge. One who acts to the point of insensibility.

FAITH: To trust, give allegiance or loyalty to another. Fidelity to one's promises. Or, a firm belief in something for which there is no proof. It can also mean to offer a binding promise.

There is a method of attacking a submissive by asking that submissive to accept things on 'blind faith'. This often means that a person is asking a submissive/slave to withdraw rational forethought and offer trust without any measure of that trust being earned first. This type of request can be the first move of a predator. Usually the submissive is lifestyle new and may believe that 'belief' is mandatory merely upon someone's word or identification of themselves as a Dominant, a Master or a Mistress.

There are those who seek to promote what they call 'blind faith tests'. This type of pre-interview asks for significant information about the submissive while the presenter of the test remains completely hidden. This testing is presented in such a manner as to persuade or pressure the submissive into compliance as a 'demonstration' of their 'true' submissive or slave nature.

It is a way of turning a submissives 'desire to perform' against them. There is no negotiation during this type of offering, the entirety of it is one sided or leading. A new submissive can easily be enticed into completing and following this pathway of tests often giving out personal information that if they were asked directly they would not answer. There is a subtle desire to 'do this test well' for this apparent Dominant. There is often additional pressure applied through stressed time frames for the completion of each test. This additional pressure may make the submissive feel desired but most often pushes them into revealing life details that they should not reveal to a total stranger.

It is important here to remember that first contacts are with total strangers. The usage of 'testing' immediately is a warning sign. A healthy Dominant or one without hidden issues or secrets will not need to know every detail of a submissive or slaves life immediately. They will be more interested in the submissives personality, reactions, and interactions with them. Simple chemistry. Open natural conversations tend to reveal and answer most questions easily.

Many Dominants use questionnaires when and if a relationship shows some potentials of going further. These questionnaires may be to evaluate the level of knowledge that a submissive may have about themselves and the lifestyle. These questionnaires have become more popular with the onset of the Internet. Most Dominants using such questionnaires will remain open to answering questions themselves and use them as simply another tool. If a submissive is uncomfortable with any type of questionnaire it is usually not an important issue. When the flow of information is strictly one way the submissive should back away from the person directing the flow. A submissive is at personal risk both physically, mentally and emotionally. A predator takes the time to learn what issues will trigger a submissive, how to speak to them and how to assault them. Trust is not given to anyone sporting a Dominant sounding name on the Internet. Trust is earned through significant consistent actions by that Dominant over a period of time. If a Dominant cannot offer any kind of references or information about themselves then a submissive should not give to that person any level of blind faith or trust!

Beyond Limits...

The Illusions of Safety. Limits.

Sometimes it seems that people want and need the security they feel by putting rules in writing. Contracts, restrictions, regulations. Each of these is a way of limiting the free expression of ourselves and others. This is how we control societies. We have lots of reasons why such rules are healthy, necessary and even promote the good of all. The truth is that these 'rules' do not truly exist. They are simply an agreement between two or more people to abide within certain constraints for a given length of time. What we believe to be healthy, necessary and good are individual perceptions based on our culture of origin, our environment, our life experiences and our personal desires.

In situations of extreme events these well crafted limitations disappear. Especially if your fundamental belief in their worth is not sincere. It is quite easy to 'mouth' the words of acceptable, common social behavior while internally you carry belief's that are at odds with them. In addition we generally learn to trot out what we believe another person desires to hear IF we wish to manipulate that person into a situation that is of benefit or desirous to ourselves. The capacity to lie, cheat, steal, injure, damage and destroy are all part of our human nature. In a sense we will or may take the actions we believe will attain our desired goal.

The only true limitations are those fundamental values that you carry at your core. The inviolate lines that you will not cross for to do so you believe would compromise who you believe yourself to be. That final line in the sand.

Some people enter the BDSM world and immediately collect a nice assortment of rules. They exchange the rules of the vanilla world eagerly for these new rules and become 'rule enforcement' persons, strongly vocal about why such rules are needed by everyone. If you do not conform to these rules then you should be shunned and ostracized. Rules make us comfortable. Rules make us feel safer. Rules suggest structure, reasons, rational justifications. Rules are false. Rules are fabrications designed to control uncontrollable things.

If you are truly exploring the potentials of yourself then one of the first things that you have discovered is the simple fact that you probably know little or nothing about yourself. In many ways you are untested. You have never engaged in a battle to see if you would fold or fall, when or where. The cautious part of you fears such a testing, the adventuresome side relishes the concept, the challenge.

The collection of rules and limits is your cautious side setting up the 'rules' of the game. It is a way to pre-control the boundaries in which this exploratory game will be played. If you trust too much in the value or worth of these limits then you set yourself up for potential problems. There is the person inside who we 'want to be' and the person inside 'who we are'. They are seldom the same. In many ways we tend to avoid looking at who we are in favor of who we wish to present to the world. In this way we can buy into a grouping of limits that are not truly ours. It makes us acceptable to others to offer acceptable limits to maintain the illusion of our 'normalcy' among our new peers. The problem is that this is a veil. Behind that veil we hide.

The unexplored limit has as much real substance as cobwebs in the corner of the room. It is essentially an 'idea' of a boundary. Limits identify unsafe areas. Things that make us uncomfortable, embarrassed, terrified, disgusted, repulsed and excited. Within everything a contradiction exists. Things that horrify us the most often enthrall us the most as well. An example might be the fascination we feel on observing a horrendous accident, especially when someone dies in a gruesome way. There is something exciting in the testing of our horror, to be suddenly exposed to violence or terror. In that excruciating moment we are truly alive. We feel our blood. Taste our superstitious fears. Our primal nature wakens. We hunt longing to tear at those we fear, longing to tear at fear itself.

You might say that identified 'limits' area's reveal area's of the strongest emotional responses. Within those responses lay our own self hatred and repulsion. To participate in some of the practices would leave us morally bankrupt or without any respect for ourselves as human's, this we fundamentally know, we also know that a part of us carries some subtle hunger to cross that line. In some ways we may seek to punish these unacceptable desires through discipline practices to rid us of this self-knowledge of our own failure to measure up to the standards and rules of the society we live in a failure to live up to our own personal ideals. Accepting our whole truth and then creating boundaries on how far we may actively seek to explore those area's is something we should or must do to retain our sanity.

When talking about limits I try to express to people that they should actively avoid anything which may damage their ego, morality or fundamental image of themselves. For me that line is the non-consensual violation or usage of any living being or creature. For me all animal's and children fall into this category. In addition I have a personal revulsion for those who violate the sanctity of the dead. This is my personal line in the sand.

Over the course of my life I have found that I have the capacity to explore far beyond what I considered a limit in virtually all area's. When I adapted mentally or conceptually to the 'idea' within something my mind in some way found the way to 'solve' the handling of that 'idea'. I do not believe that I am in any way unique in this. I do believe that in the beginning I knew little and understood less. To learn I had to touch, taste, feel and experience. Otherwise, I was only making assumptions about what I thought I felt or knew. In addition I have found myself to be in constant evolution. Things I enjoyed 20 years ago, I may have no interest in today. Limits, desires, wishes have all shifted, altered and changed.

Within a D/s relationship only one person's limits actually count. That is the person in power. This is the Dominant. A submissive should realize that s/he lives within the barrier or inviolate limits of the Dominant they choose to be with. Many Dominant's try to adapt to the brandished 'listing of limits' that a submissive will carry around with them. They attempt to sincerely promise not to cross those lines. However, in an intense scene a Dominant can experience the 'removal' of this promise. If their personal limits do not align with the submissive they can easily move past the 'promise' and may do things with and to the submissive that are well beyond the pre-scene consent. There is a line where the mind can cross to see only their true rules.

A new Dominant is especially vulnerable to this 'failure of control'. S/he suffers from the same issue as the submissive - unknown limits. A more experienced Dominant can often identify the sensations of euphoria as being extremely dangerous and when noted can and will exit that aspect of the scene often reducing the overall intensity considerably until they are able to re-center or regain control. In general terms most Dominant's, after going through several years of experience's, become quite graphic or blunt about the nature of their interests. It becomes incumbent upon any submissive interacting with them to listen very carefully and hear what that Dominant is telling them. If a Dominant has found their true limits or edges to be very extreme, they will often tell the submissive that. It is imperative for the submissive to truly hear what that extreme edge can or may mean.

The alignment of core limits is the only true safety that can adequately protect the Dominant and the submissive. A Dominant does not desire to violate another person's limits or rights. Nor does a Dominant wish to restrain their true capacity in an effort to be with someone. As much as a submissive want's to be free to express themselves completely, so does a Dominant. Be careful who you select, take the time to get to know the person. Go slow in scening. Leave before you injure. Do not place your trust in untested limits!

<< Although it may be true that the *power* at that point lies with the Dominant... the very *reason* such power is *given* to the Dominant is that trust has been established and the submissive knows that she/he will be protected by the Dominant rather than preyed upon... and that limits *will* be respected. If one finds him/herself with a partner who ignores limits... he/she is with a criminal not a Dominant.

I wish this were true - however quite often a submissive gives over initial consent to an 'unknown' Dominant. They have a faith or belief that the dominant they have chosen will respect their identified limits but at the same moment that submissive also has an expectation that the same Dominant will press those limits. Trust is established over time and consistent long term actions. Many new or non-experienced Dominant's feel a 'pressure to perform' to the expectation's of a submissive. Many submissives in-scene 'in subspace' vocally encourage or beg their Dominant to do more or go further. A new Dominant may believe this to be open consent and proceed. After scene the submissive may then turn on the Dominant and tell them emphatically that they non-consensually violated their limits. In addition many things can trigger a state of euphoria or extreme excitement which can allow even a great Dominant to do things they wouldn't normally do. An example of this is public sceneing where actions of the 'audience' propel a person into 'performing' for others rather than sole-scening their submissive. I have witnessed on several occasions where a crowd has actively yelled for more when a sub was screaming their safeword and the Dominant did more.

If you are a new Dominant you cannot truly know how you will react or respond to differing situations or stimuli. Being able to identify moments of competence diminishment is sometimes only gained through the painful experience of doing things wrong. In addition, insecurity in what you do, how and where is quite prevalent. If you are new to scening then you may not wish to look inept and you may erroneously attempt to 'measure up' to the actions of those you see around you. This insecurity is strongest in the presence of your submissive. Creation of role and delivery of expectation coupled to your own untested limits can and do create nightmare situations. A Dominant does not wish to appear 'weak', 'soft', or 'unfamiliar with what to do' especially before their new submissive. Some elect to 'go at it' feeling they will learn as they do it. The process of truly identifying limits takes real time on both sides. Finding an individual who shares similar core reactions and responses, similar ethical codes is very important. My core limits have never altered in 20 years. Virtually every other limit that I thought I had has altered. Identifying a core limit is something that has remained constant throughout your thought processes in your whole/vanilla life. You have the clues to what those are already. For me they are children, animals and dead people. I will and have acted against anyone I see violating them, I have felt this way my entire life so within BDSM made no difference. Non-inviolate limits are things we may fear or areas we may wish to explore very very slowly. For a new Dom/sub these can be generally identified to be Blood Sports (knives, needles, guns), Water Sports, (urine and feces), Air Sports, (strangulation, choking, removal of air), Humiliation and Shame Sports. Each of these areas contain serious potentials for real life injury or death, mental or physical damage.

A Dominant who decides to scene with a submissive with very different limits in either direction from their own is asking for trouble. If a submissive has a very low tolerance and the Dom a very high one then a situation of frustration can easily occur and the Dominant may find themselves pressing harder when they really know they shouldn't. A submissive with a very high tolerance scening with a Dom with fairly low tolerance will often pressure the Dom into doing more - this kind of reverse manipulation can lead to a Dom out of control who becomes unable to rationally identify when to stop. If a Dom crosses the threshold and loses primary directing control they can sometimes go so far as to kill in trying to meet the presented needs of the sub in that moment. We are all human, subject to errors in judgment and the simple reality that we are constantly learning and evolving. any expectation that a limit will be 'tested' means that the 'limit' is not solid. It becomes an area of in-scene trial and out of scene negotiation. This alone makes reliance on it unsafe. Take the time to select a person of character with the same moral and ethical codes that you hold. Query that person deeply in the areas you believe within you are uncrossable. Pay attention to what is said and how it is said. At any suggestion of fluid thought consider that the person you are talking to may have a hidden desire to explore there. Move on. Time is your friend, rushing creates errors on all sides.

Altered Mental States...

Venturing into the realms of Altered Mental States should be done carefully. The human mind is vulnerable to suggestion (as witnessed by the recent 'cult' suicides in LA). People often have an enormous desire to be 'part' of something greater or more important than themselves. They need to feel contributory, worthwhile, of significance. This desire or need makes them equally vulnerable to other humans who have no scruples on using their needs against them.

Within the BDSM community there is a strong underlying foundation for voluntary focused enthrallment. For a submissive this state is called sub-space. It is a fundamental part of a healthy submissive to be able to access this mental state with relative ease. This predisposition toward positive response to simple hypnotic triggers has allowed some people with questionable motives a ways and means of manipulating another human's mind.

People often seek help from qualified and licensed hypnotists to help them with minor lifestyle problems such as overeating or smoking. These real life hypnotists are generally quite good and almost never attempt any type of mental manipulation as such non-voluntary manipulation is unethical and fundamentally wrong.

Recently through the opening of the online community some members of the BDSM community have become accessible to huge numbers of 'unknown' individuals. Within this group have been a small but growing number of predators. Not all human predators like to physically molest, rape or kill other humans...some like to 'toy' with other peoples minds. Many new or emergent submissives are vulnerable to the 'lines' or 'lures' offered by these predators. Exposure to the BDSM community often opens up huge windows inside a person. These changes, much like all type of changes in life, leave the individual groping their way along on a pathway of information seeking, education and exploration. Their formerly well known and understood 'rules' suddenly shift or change and quite often they do not have sufficient information to correctly identify one of these masked predators when they meet them. In many ways their defenses have not gained a level of understanding to insure their integrity or personal safety.

There is an instinctive desire to trust. Especially if that person offers themselves in the role of Dominant and speaks to you with interest and or kindness. Often the predator is quite charming and innocuous in online appearance and demeanor. They will seek out and tell you the things you may wish to hear. It is relatively easy to be swayed into believing in them when in all likelihood they have offered nothing of substance for you to base that trust upon. Your desire is your vulnerability. Your submissive nature is a clue and key to further opportunities for them.

If you are a new or emergent submissive and any online Dominant tells you that they can take you into space or hypnotize you for any reason online or on the phone. . . know and understand that such a suggestion is a demonstration of a lack of care for your personal safety. Hypnosis is only safe when done in person. A submissive entering space is vulnerable to significant detachment from physical reality - that detachment can make them unable to rationally discern true danger! A real Dominant will never willingly risk the life and mental health of any submissive!

I have also noted a growing trend of 'online trainers'. It is my considered opinion that such 'training' especially online is almost always flawed, often significantly. A large percentage of these 'trainers' are simply individuals who want access to submissives without taking on the responsibilities, caring and love for them that a Dominant does. Dominants train their own submissives and usually have no desire for their submissive to be 'trained' by someone else. How will a Dominant learn the subtle significant details of their submissive if they are not present during that training? In real life there are occasionally times when a Dominant will cross train their real life submissive with another real life Dominant or submissive. Please note that I am stating that this is real life.

Many of these online 'trainers' promote themselves with a long and apparently venerable 'history' within the community yet they quite often have extreme difficulty in finding anyone within the real life community to verify or corroborate their reputation for those submissives educated enough to ask. These 'trainers' tend to seek out new, vulnerable submissives to train. It is important to remember that some of these predators have learned techniques which they deploy against the submissive to encourage that submissive to fall into their traps. All new submissives should know that true mentors or trainers are actively sought within their local communities if they are of quality. These individuals are generally of high character and well regarded and are very hard to become associated with due primarily to the fact that they are kept busy in real life. You will not find them online trolling for new submissives to 'train' for other Dominants.

If you are or believe yourself to be a new submissive just exploring this lifestyle, that simple belief may identify you as someone relatively easy to trigger into space. Quality Dominants are very familiar with this vulnerability and will attempt to not trigger you online or on the phone. They recognize the predisposition and will actively work in your behalf to keep you safe. All submissives belong to Dominants. You are our most precious resource. Anyone that elects to injure, sway, manipulate or damage you is not one of us. Pay attention to the actions of those you encounter, if you have memory gaps, lost time, physical symptoms you know are not normal with or during contact with anyone online then exit their presence as quickly as possible and take all measures possible to eliminate all further contact with them. Keep in mind that a submissive in sub-space will instinctively trust the person who puts them there. This means that you may or can divulge credit card numbers, the names of your children, your home phone number and address as well as all other screen names and other personal information. It will seem quite 'normal' within space. Report the incident to other BDSM people whom you know. Predators are not welcome here!