- The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

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Hetero Male Submissive, 31,  {Central}, New Jersey
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MetalRunner - photo 1
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Last Online:


 Submissive Male


 New Jersey

 Willing to Relocate

 5' 6"

 157 lbs






Actively Seeking:

Dominant Transgender

Submissive Transgender

Dominant Female

Submissive Female

Switch Women

Domme/Dom Couples

Femdom Couples

Friends Only

Online Romance


A Poly Household

 Lives For:


 Dancing (Expert)

 Running (Expert)

 Walking (Expert)


 Body Worship (Expert)

 Massage (Giving)

 Libertarian Politics


 Writing (Expert)

 Female Supremacy

 Heavy Metal Music

 Industrial Music

 Body Building

 Ice Hockey


 Fine Dining

 Aerobics (Expert)

 Foot Worship

 Massage (Getting) (Expert)


 Intellectual Discourse

 Political Activism

 Classical Music

 Eighties Music

 Electronica / EDM

 New Wave

 Rock Music


 Tennis (Beginner)







 Pilates (Beginner)



 Tai-Chi (Beginner)

 Yoga (Beginner)

 Exhibitionism (Beginner)


 Obedience Training



 Tickling (Expert)


 Board Games

 Card Games

 Comedy Shows

 Science Fiction

 TV Sports (Expert)


 Drawing (Beginner)



 Blogging (Beginner)


 Economics (Beginner)


 Poetry (Beginner)

 Goth Lifestyle (Beginner)





 Seventies Music


 Street Hockey




 Electrical Play (Beginner)


 Online Chatrooms

 Conservative Politics


 Liberal Politics


 Hip Hop Music

 New Age Music





 Curious About:



 Scuba Diving


 Ultimate Frisbee

 Fire Play


 Knife Play

 No Strings Housework


 Public Play





 Soap Making




 Low Carb





 Auto Racing

 Kick Boxing

 Sky Diving


 Renaissance Faires

 Skate Boarding

 Online RPGs

 Role Playing Games

 Romance Novels




 Alternative Music

 Country Music

 Folk Music






 TV News

 Blue Grass

 Punk Rock Music

 Hard Limits:

 EMO Music

if you tell me that you like that,

I'd be a liar if I said I never came on here without wondering what the fuck it's all about. And if there's even a point to all of this. Why are any of us on this site? The reason is: Because we're lonely & we're not handling it the right way----and you know it just as well as I do.

Since you will PROBABLY ask, though, what I'm looking for . . . I will tell you.  I'm looking to serve a strong, confident, powerful, beautiful, INTELLIGENT person in whatever way I can—be it through body worship, massage therapy, physical labor, or just overall entertainment or amusement.  I'm not made of money & I'm not going to pretend to be;  if you're looking for a money slave hit up some 63-year-old "distinguished gentleman" with a small wiener that cheats on his wife & is an awful father. They LOVE serving take-your-money-and-run vixens like yourselves. ; )

Oh, and my limits. Many seem to ask me that, so I'll just post it here & make it clear: Don't bring up religion or get my family or employment involved. And please. Please. Please. Don't . . . hurt my nuts too hard. NOT sexy. -ha-

I'm a fun lovin' goofball. Again: come hit on me; I won't bite---unless you command me to.

I should mention that I really freakin' hate the CollarSpace instant messaging feature. Please don't contact me like that; I have screen names on just about every platform imaginable; you can ask me for all my screen name & email address. Unless we can IM together, email is best for quick replies. You are welcome to just contact me there for a reply ASAP—especially since I only check this late at night & have trouble replying here during the day.

CAVEAT: I'm not here to form a relationship with someone married unless your spouse is genuinely cool about your being in this scene.

O yeah, and by the way: The term "vanilla" pisses me off. Overuse of all these "BDSM" vocabulary terms in general just piss me off. -ha

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Journal Entries:
4/21/2018 9:43:35 AM
One thing I've been meaning to remark on since June 2nd of last year (ha):

Ethnicity:  African Descent

That's the only thing this Web site did right in so long—and since that date, almost a full year now, it's done nothing else correctly. I assure you I'm not an annoying-ass liberal who insists on proper semantics, but literally any other way of wording this always comes out badly. Kudos to whomever suggested this to the Web site.

In other news: this scene is stupid. 🙃

3/14/2018 10:05:15 PM
Is it worth explaining the whole story? ... Probably not. I'd only come across as whiny—or whinier.  Simply put: I don't think I can lower my guard to anyone in the scene any longer. Each and EVERY time I get punted in the heart. I ... just don't think I can live here any more.

2/22/2018 8:39:48 AM
What's with all the markup popping up in messages lately? I tried so many ways to avoid that but it still insists on making life worse. I feel badly enough still coming to this site after that guy screwed over that woman as CollarMe became CollarSpace & that whole BS was left unresolved. Uuuugh.

2/15/2018 10:25:20 PM
Time doesn't matter. Nothing really matters; everyone sucks. We'll all die soon anyway.

1/9/2018 9:04:29 PM
What a sad thought it is ... for someone's mind to deteriorate the more sexual that person becomes

... For someone's sexuality to deteriorate the more that person's backbone grows back.

11/14/2017 12:35:39 AM
Every single fuckin' domme in the world can go fuck herself. THAT is the mood I'm in.

9/1/2017 11:51:12 PM
If I knew a way to burn this entire scene to the ground, I'd do it.

10/24/2016 8:42:08 PM
Until further notice, because of my work schedule, this is when I'll likely be on here & all the other fun sites.

    Sunday: 9:30pm-12:00am
    Monday: 9:30pm-12:00am
    Tuesday: 9:30pm-12:00am
    Wednesday: 9:30pm-12:00am
    Thursday: 10:45pm-2:00am
    Friday: 10:45-3:00am
    Saturday: 9:30-12:30am

    All times Eastern (New York / Ontario)

Ask for my EMAIL ADDRESS for replies ASAP!

8/28/2016 12:52:54 AM
One stupidass thing on this site that's bothered me for years: morons that claim to be seeking submissive males...but actually aren't

I've seen more female slaves and male doms erroneously pop up on my "seeking sub men" search results. Then maybe I'll contact them & they'll say something brilliant like, "sorry, don't like subs" or "hi, will you be my master?"

I mean, the profile setup isn't that complicated.

If someone can't figure that out, how can he/she expect to be taken seriously in the scene?

You're all morons. I hate everyone.

8/14/2016 1:25:47 AM
I'm in the biggest mood for juice.


8/10/2016 2:34:35 AM
"I m for serious an no playgames."

... Shut the fuck up.

8/2/2016 12:35:49 AM
Control should be constituted in part by a constant awareness of mortality.

7/18/2016 1:18:45 AM
Sometimes I'm in the mood to just donate as much blood as possible until I pass out. I want to be reminded of what a near-death experience is like.

7/16/2016 10:46:21 PM
I'm struggling in life lately. I have no relationships, no pets, no affection, and I'm doing my best to hold it together & work through it, but it's not easy. I would kill to have someone just to hold for a little while -- to hug.  For all those of you with significant others, please appreciate them.  Appreciate what you have.

Meanwhile, I've been clashing left & right with these "findoms" that don't want you for anything but your money. I've been verbally blasting them as though with a shotgun ... and, I have to say, ... it feels great.

5/6/2016 9:51:47 PM
Well, there goes that idea. A car collision & renewed anger turned inwards have me right back to Square One. Yaaaay — use me!

4/24/2016 11:46:50 PM
You can have all the self-confidence in the world. You can be the most beautiful Woman that's ever lived—and one of the highest-paid & most sought-after adult performers of all time. ... But when I ask you one key, simple question & it fires a shot at your deepest nerve ... wow. What a change in your attitude—a visible digression in the tone of all your tweets for the rest of the day. Sensitive, huh? ... The funny thing is that it wasn't even my intention to expose you as a human Jenga stack. But I did. Me—a sub. A nobody. I make the most beautiful & overdone Woman in the world cry. Like a weakened mother octopus consumed by a minnow.

And that's when I realized: I really am dominant at the barest, most subconsciously level, aren't I? Most of those I've spoken to probably picked up on that. That's why you don't like me. The only thing that distracted me from knowing that all these years is from a heavy depletion of funds, which hurt my self-confidence. But why? I let you take that money from.  I let you take my manhood.

But now it's time to take it back.

I've been beaten down enough by all of you for a while. I'm taking a break all this shit. When I return, we'll see what happens.

3/24/2016 2:19:23 AM
Male doms are a lot like police officers

Loser kids that got picked on a lot growing up that are now trying to overcompensate for the shitty childhoods

3/7/2016 2:11:51 AM
Kinky, freaky stuff is all fun & cool [kind of], but mothers out there...never neglect or overlook your children. Make sure they're always okay—or more than okay.


2/19/2016 12:42:41 AM
Wow, I just got this new shower head that does all these cool tricks—so obviously I immediately used it on my mantesticles. Now my "smooth criminals" are extra sensitive; I love this! Anyone ever try this? Woooh!

1/8/2016 2:55:03 AM
Get me out of here. Please get me out of here.

12/10/2015 11:54:34 PM
Happiness is never knowing this scene even existed.

11/23/2015 2:10:03 AM
A part of me wished this site remained down for good last night.

11/19/2015 1:15:17 AM
Why can only fat, unappealing online confident-pretending gals whom don't even show any pics of their bodies be big, beautiful women? Why not me?

So sexist.

11/12/2015 1:29:38 AM
Sexuality and fetishes are boring after a while. All I care about anymore is food.

10/15/2015 1:38:45 AM
People deserve to be pissed off b/c they're stupid.

10/15/2015 1:37:58 AM
I'm so tempted to start a CollarSpace forum message titled "Gas Masks Are Stupid" & get everyone all pissed off.

8/27/2015 1:47:42 AM
I announced today during karaoke that I am officially a lesbian.

Thank you for you acceptance. #LoveWins

8/3/2015 11:43:10 PM
I lost my best friend to a difference in ideology tonight. "Avoidable" is the top word to come to mind, but I guess that's how he wants it. This is about as odd a position I've been in. I'd call on my friends from "the scene" for support, but I wonder how much you'd all charge.

7/30/2015 12:32:02 AM
You may have noticed that I tend to complain about the scene pretty often. Well, what keeps me here?

[Yes, a self-pity bullshit journal entry is upon us.]

That fitness trainer I told you about back in February ... I knew that something wasn't right between us since then. Every time we see each other it's a bizarre, half-ass awkward hello.  And I'm nearing a three month streak of going there every day; I see her all the time.  I've just been tired of all this uncomfortable garbage.

Every three months we get a complementary fitness evaluation/assessment with a trainer of our choice. Insofar as I have not gotten a chance to speak to her in private out in the parking lot or anything, I decided to book her for a half hour session.  I wanted to do three simple things: learn one simple exercise I know she's the best at, tell her I'm sorry for ever making her uncomfortable — and even give her a cheesecake, which I know is her favorite as a little apology gift, so to say and/or a thank-you for training with me that day.  If we were not to get a chance to speak in private, I actually wrote a letter out, explaining how I knew I made her uncomfortable for whatever reason & I was really sorry for that - and that the cheesecake was a small way of saying, "I'm sorry for whatever I've done, but I hope we're okay now. You can share it with your family or something."  Stupid & silly as it was, it felt like the right thing to do to just end all this bullshit & move on. I hate awkward interaction.

So I book the assessment & the day comes. I show up with the cheesecake freshly picked up in my car & my gym bag in hand. I hear from the receptionist, "She had to step out for the day, but we're gonna put you with this guy."


I go back to the locker room to put my things down & come back. To see, yes, she WAS actually still there after all.  Looking down & avoiding me.  Awesome.

Then the male trainer tells me, "She was double-booked, so I was free & was able to take you." — It was plain to see what was going on here.

7/30/2015 12:15:25 AM

Whatever. He was nice & we spoke & got along fine & all that. No particular issue there.

Right before I left I decided, "Fuck this," and I grabbed the cheesecake from my car (no, it wasn't melted...I don't think) with the note inside a sealed envelope with her name on it. I came back directly to the female trainer & told her, "Sorry we didn't get a chance to do this today—but I got you a cake & I'll leave it in the refrigerator for you." Yeah, I wanted her to feel guilty. Sue me. So I told the receptionist to leave it in their refrigerator I knew they had & left for the day—knowing it was all finally over.

The next day (Friday) I come back in & the custodian laughs & tells me, "I ate all that cheesecake! There was none left for the girls." I didn't ask questions because it wasn't the time or the place. Too many people around. So I had to deal with that.

I didn't see him until Tuesday of the following week—and when I saw him solo I nearly pounced on him. I interrogated the shit out of the guy, and he told me exactly what I feared: she had complained that I creeped her out & said she didn't want the cheesecake. Lord knows if she even read my note. And apparently she's been whining about me to the entire front desk, so ... no, it didn't get better. It got worse.  I don't even know if she took the cheesecake home or if she even read the note.

Yeah, I was infuriated; I'll admit it. But what am I gonna do? I have to keep going back there.Except now the only place I go to get away from all my problems has just become HOME to all my problems. My reputation killed.

So what keeps me in the scene?  The answer is simple. Loneliness. ... And anger.

7/23/2015 12:33:20 AM
Today I'm putting forth an effort to make things right from what happened back in February 4th. Wish me luck; I'm nervous.

7/23/2015 12:06:11 AM
Everyone in this scene is so predictable. I'm finding it harder & harder to be submissive to anyone because these supposed dommes are so lame & pathetic.

7/16/2015 12:06:52 AM
I suppose I play my cards well enough in life that I never get bored—but, I have to admit, this online D/s "scene" does have a way of boring the shit out of me.

6/13/2015 12:22:39 AM
Simply put: I don't want to serve anyone who doesn't enjoy interacting with me. If you only see me as a customer, a "client," a dollar sign or a transaction, just forget it. My pleasure is derived from yours. If you don't enjoy when we talk, then I can't either.

I don't want to be where I'm not wanted. If you're not feeling it, just say so. I'd rather you just curse me away than ignore me or pretend to like me just enough so that you use me...and then ignore me after you do.

4/10/2015 12:50:07 AM
I cannot beat Romania. Almost every noteworthy problem I've had in life is somehow connected to that nation. Why?

Anyone else have something bizarre like this going on?

2/21/2015 1:48:24 AM
The worst scum of all in this scene are those who talk to you & treat you as a friend & a pal but capitalize on the first chance they get to take your money & ignore the hell out of you from thereon.  Ooohhhh, you have no idea how much that pisses me off! Thanks to CLASSY KINKSTERS like that, I & many others within "the scene" now have trust issues.

Guilty until proven innocent. Fuck, I hate this scene. I need to someone to save me from it. This whole "D/s" bullshit really brings out the worst in everyone ... in everyone.

2/5/2015 12:53:19 PM
What causes someone like me to identify as submissive? Pain. It has to do with pain.

Yesterday was the birthday of a fitness trainer, whom I've had a thing for a while now, from the place I go to. I always say something funny or complimentary in passing, and she always replies with a big smile and maybe a laugh. Without wanting to go overboard I got her a big fruit bowl, card & a goofy/funny note to give to her mom, thanking her for raising such a bright, kind young lady. And through everything she always seemed to've warmly receive anything I've said or done.

Then I figured this was a good opportunity to send her a friend request online for the hell of it—only to see that she BLOCKED ME before we even spoke on there. Ever. She went out of her way to find my profile just to block me.  I've been blocked before, but usually it's because of a bad joke or a moment where I put my foot in my mouth over something.  I tried to do everything right with her to at least—at least—be in position to become friends. And she blocked me out of her life before I can even be in it. Say what you will about social networking stuff, but to me when someone blocks you or rejects a friend request, that's very telling; it's someone's way of saying, "I'd prefer I never knew you existed."

So that's just another chapter in my book. And how many do I represent with similar situations? When stuff like this piles up enough, ya know, you start to feel like a loser. And then you start thinking about donating your organs, donating your life, to someone who will do more with himself/herself in this world.

So if the only way I can make women happy is by letting them use me & embarrass me to feed their dominant side, so be it. I can't live like this any more.  I hate this scene so much, but if it's the only place I ever feel wanted, it's awfully hard to leave it.

1/24/2015 3:15:18 AM
Sweet sonofaDAMN, this Garbage / Nine Inch Nails mashup is remarkable! 8^)

1/22/2015 12:27:04 AM
The longer I stay in this scene the more I feel the core of who I am rotting away. -lol-

12/10/2014 11:40:47 PM
I'd like for any of the following two to happen to me:

- to be loved
- to be saved
- to be killed

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