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I am 55 and have only ever given myself to one true relationship which unfortunately at the time I was unable to fulfill as I was inexperienced due to what I thought was my craziness or mental issues due to some of my fantasies and desires. One of which is to be submissive to a woman. The confusion was in regards as often I felt dominant but other times submissive.
I am looking for a Relationship with view to a lifetime Relationship. A lady who I could have wonderful conversations with, spend time with and explore life together
I have had a lifelong confusion about my identity due to lack of experience and information. I consider myself to be straight though at times since my early childhood I have felt female as well.
In an intimate relationship I am submissive though on an interpersonal level I am probably a little more assertive.
I was in primary school in the 60’s, high school in the 70’s and raised very much the same way kids were back in the 40’s and 50’s. There were no computers, fancy toys and our imaginations were our playgrounds.
In primary school and high school I was fairly confused. I was ignorant about sex, and knew nothing about until I went to high school. I was always self-conscious and bullied, though in the last year of high school I beat those who bullied me. Something inside me told me if I did not do this, than I would not be worth much
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I have only ever been in two real relationships. I was always too embarrassed too ashamed to tell my inner feelings. I let love leave me behind.
For some years I cruised the dope and music scene, neither I found fulfilling.
I worked hard, studied hard at university but was seriously injured in a couple of accidents one of them critically. I have been studying again but have had to defer for a while due to other issues.
For a year now I have been contemplating and realised I have allowed myself to miss out in much in life, love and happiness. I had feelings of being perverse or an aboration, However, I am simply human, a human with human needs. I need to be loved and I need to love. I want to share my experiences and experience others.
I do follow a religion but we have no priests. I do not push it on people nor judge them. I have friends who have been everything from Wiccans through to Muslims. I have friends from many cultures and races. If I do find a lady, it is important to me that they have some belief that there is a greater force at work in the universe whether it be God, or The Creator or some other understanding.
I love the outdoors, the bush and rivers. I love reading books, photography, speedway, fishing, camping, and also the arts. I love history, archaeology, astronomy and science.
My mistake in life was not surrendering to myself, accepting myself for who I am and in that failing to understand that I have the need to submit myself to someone who can make my life complete.
I am an honest, caring, loyal and sincere person. I am very defensive of my friends and those I love.
I am inexperienced in almost everything but willing to try new things I do not judge others for their interests.
I look forward to hearing from people soon, and hopefully make new friends.
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