I'm thinking of perverting a 'nilla. Actually, he's a cutie and does damn near everything I'd expect from a service submissive, so I'm just going add a healthy dash of D/s flavoring when I return from Sin City. There's a certain joy that goes along with being a "bad influence". :)

Vegas, baby!

Yo mama is gonna be in Vegas May 1-4.

Age disparity in D/s relationships/"C" ain't for cuckold.

So...I'm chatting with this sub who counts skateboarding as one of his interests. I'm between "damn, rob the cradle much?" and "you're only a cougar if it's sexual; using an anal speculum on him doesn't really count".

There are a ton of twentysomething subbie guys on the site.

The bad things about young 'uns:
1. They're transient
2. They're still a lil wet behind the ears
3. They're basically more of a toy than a companion.
4. Cougar can be such an ugly word.
5. You feel like the grandma in the Verizon commercial sometimes.

The good things about the young uns:

1. If it doesn't work out, no worries. They were moving [on/back home to Mama/to a new city] anyway!
2. You don't have to undo 15+ years worth of mental stagnation from having all their scripted fantasies on pre-set on their mental radios.
3. They're basically more of a toy than a companion.
4. Cougars are most often, by definition, hot.
5. You feel like the grandma in the Verizon commercial sometimes.

BDSM Blasphemy

by MMD

1. elise sutton - smells like teen spirit. Overly obsessed with the penis. Conclusion: "It's a man, baby!"
2. Any sub who is "not a doormat": if you were an inanimate object, what would you be?
3. Cuckolding - is there a homosexual element involved? Is it that you're hot by proxy if you have a cuckoldress?
4. What's the deal with guys who lovingly detail their  uber-specific fetishes, yet are vehemently opposed to seeing a ProDomme? Are they thinking that there's a lifestyle Mistress out there who is secretly longing to wrap them in bacon while singing the latest Wendy's commercial?
5. If you want to spend all day in a cage...wouldn't it be more economical (and decorative) for me to get a bird?

Messages That Are Summarily Deleted

by MMD's secretary boy

1. Before you write: stand up and look down. If you can't see your feet, don't write. If you have "dickey-do" disease, don't write. If anyone has ever looked at your body and started singing "Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia!", don't write.
2. If it's biologically possible for there to be a parent-child relationship between you and MMD...your message will be deleted with extreme prejudice.
3. One-liners. 'nuff said.

The D/s relationship I seek is a symbiotic one, where I am in control, yet the sub has the ability to function without micromanagement. The dynamics of this relationship must be sustainable long-term, therefore I am not interested in interacting with anyone based on one particular activity, fetish, or physical characteristic. I realize that I may not meet my "ideal" sub, but I will not settle for anything less than a respectful, intelligent, attractive, stable, unattached male who can be my partner in a relationship where the dynamics are sustainable long-term.
_______________________________________

If you knew me, you'd know that Billy Zane [circa 1990] is my ideal of classic male beauty. And that the wildest implement I use in bdsm play is...my mind. Oh yeah, and that I'm hella sexy.

confucius say:

"Man who offer oral servitude only provide lip service."
"Full toilet slave often full of $#!t"
"Talking to attention whores like calling time announcement with phone between butt cheeks--don't give an a$$h*le the time of day."

MMD is currently considering applications for the following position:

Long-term volunteer/victim/sex object/personal assistant

Major duties:
Under the guidance of Mistress, provides eyecandy, stimulating conversation, and a well-maintained playground for Her pleasure.

Required Skills: Ability to communicate clearly and honestly. Good organizational and housekeeping skills are a must. Cooking skills are desirable. Although nudity is required, uniforms may also be provided. Ability to procreate is not a consideration.

Other considerations: Physical attractiveness, common kinks, common goals, emotional balance, sense of humor, and versatility.

Benefits: An attractive and wickedly creative Owner, lots of playtime, and opportunity for growth.

I'm going to take the pseudo-scientific approach. Now you can take this generic compatibility quiz to see if you'd be the perfect subby hubby for MMD!

Military/firefighter/cop: +3 points
Able to relocate +20 points
Non smoker +10 points
Service-minded: +40 points
Fetish-induced tunnel vision: -50 points
Your name is Egbert: -5 points
Speak Spanish: +2 points
Full head of hair or shaved completely bald: +5 points
Full body of hair: -30 points
Unemployed and looking for a home: -300 points
Cute nips: +3 points
Flat stomach: +3 points
Under 30? Subtract your age from thirty and deduct that number of points
Over 45? Subtract 45 from your age, multiply it by 0.5, and subtract that number of points
Math too hard for you? -33 points
Goal of LTR/marriage: +20 points
Already married: -200 points
Able to make conversation and not just ask a stream of questions: +15 points
Financially stable: +20 points
Add 2 points for each kink or interest we have in common. If you scored 100 or above, click the handy-dandy button on the page to send me a message!

Please note: I would be open to EVENTUAL relocation for the sub who lives far away, cannot relocate because of business or familial obligations, but is a perfect match in almost every other way.

********************
Voy a tomar el enfoque pseudocientifico. Ya puedes tomar esta prueba genérica de compatibilidad

para ver si serias el marido sumiso perfecto para la MMD.

Eres militar/bombero/policía: +3 puntos
Puedes mudarte a donde vivo yo: +20 puntos
No fumador: +10 puntos
Tu motivación no es principalmente sexual: +40 puntos
No puedes ver mas allá de tu fetiche: -50 puntos
Tu nombre es Egbert: -5 puntos
Eres hispanohablante: +2 puntos
No padeces de perdida de cabello (o tienes el cabello afeitado) : +5 puntos
Eres un hombre peludo: -30 puntos
Sin trabajo y buscando donde vivir: -300 puntos
Unos pezones deliciosos: +3 puntos
Una barriga plana: +3 puntos
Si tienes menos de 30 anos de edad: Reste tu edad de 30 y reste este numero de tu subtotal
Si tienes mas de 45 anos: Reste 30 de tu edad, multiplique el resultado por 0.5, y reste este numero de tu subtotal
Estas matemáticas te parecen muy duras: -33 puntos
Meta de matrimonio o una relación de largo tiempo: +20 puntos
Ya estas casado: -200 puntos
Puedes conversar y no simplemente hacerme preguntas sin fin: +15 puntos
Financialmente seguro: +20 puntos
Más 2 puntos para cada fetiche o interés que tengamos en común...

¡Si tu monto es de 100 o mas, envieme un mensaje!

****NOTICE****

The following positions have been filled:

1. online subbie guy (Whatever you wanted to show me on cam, save it for David.)
2. slut (That particular market is in a slump in general, and if you look like Michael Moore, a career change is probably your best bet.)
3. brat (All the tantrums and whininess of a toddler...none of the cuteness.)
4. vacuum (Sucking up food, climate control, attention, and time is strictly my dog's job and she will body check anyone who tries to usurp her position.)

We are still accepting applications for the following positions:
1. male geisha
2. on your knees
3. bent over the couch
4. behind the lawn mower/vacuum cleaner/sink

Please reference code number OU812 when inquiring. 

If my Monday has been any indication, this week is gonna be a blast!

On my to-do list: Find a victim/volunteer for an interrogation session. Anyone familiar with my somewhat offbeat sense of humor will not be surprised to learn that a cop uniform and a package of mini donuts will be integrated into the scene.

Successful applicants must have an attractive face (for slapping), an appealing body (a ripped shirt will come into play at some point), and enough balls to take the semi-goodnatured teasing that will be a part of the get-to-know process.

My impression of angelcheese is that he'll be a great
subbie with some training--I know that a week of face time
doesn't equate to a deep knowledge of one another, but I
know that we've started forming a bond. I also know that
I'll never again take a nap sans sunscreen on the beach. I
make light of a lot of things, but seriously...I'm fond of
him and his little ways. Not that I'm going to suddenly
quit perving profiles. Some of those subs are hawt, even
smoking hot. Hmm, is poly in my future?

Now, go back to the paragraph above and read the first word
of each line :)

FWIW, all the subs who appear on my friends list are people who I've met in person and had positive experiences with. 

For submissives, the way to win My affection is through sincerity, humor, intelligence, and uniqueness. Military types tend to catch My eye, and there's something about a man with cute nipples that's absolutely adorable.

I want a sub who looks good in a suit or a skirt. The aforementioned sub will adore Me for being fit, beautiful, creative, kinky, and demanding. It's important that this hypothetical sub understands that he will have a regular job and contribute to My household. None of that lazing about in a cage all day! And no spanking, watersports, bondage, objectification, feminization, CBT, or strapons until date 2.0. I'm a perv, but a respectable one.

ADVISORY: Bald spots, obesity, and/or hirsuteness are vaguely disturbing to me. If you're under 30, I'll probably check out your nips with avidity...but ultimately I'll decide that your lack of familiarity with 80s music makes us incompatible.

I'm not a big fan of fetishists either...unless your fetish involves channeling Mr. Clean, Bob Vila, and Emeril. I could use the services of a "handymaid". Or maybe you can find another way to make me care that you like to put on fuzzy earmuffs and eat Duncan Hines cake mix out of a shoe.

Many ABs fail to realize that it's not all hugs and kisses. That's for GOOD "babies". What about those rambunctious rug rats who deliberately poop their pants in order to receive nanny's attention in the form of a diaper change? They need discipline.

Enter Mean Mommie Dommie!

Had an accident in your pull-ups? Uh oh! MMD will just have to give you a thorough spanking and sit you on the toilet for a couple of hours until you remember to use your "big boy muscle". Don't worry, Mommie will read you a book. Would you like to hear "Sphincters Are Our Friends?"

There are lots of fun (for Me) activities available: Quiet Time, Corner Time, Cleanup Time, and [Dammit, I told you little bastards it's] Naptime.

Mommie doesn't work for free. If She just wanted someone around to suck up food, time, attention, and heat...She would get a cat.