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EasyED122
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Disciplinarian1
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ThePhotoMaster
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stelzs
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toyofmyMistress
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dom51
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ggmoore
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I am not searching right now ..just here keeping in touch with old friends and enjoying the message boards
Finally after almost 5 months waiting have a surgery date March 3oth
I will resume my search again once I have gotten through surgery and into recovery as the hypertrophic osteoarthropathy and heart arrhythmia should by then have settled down with the tumor gone and I should have an idea then what my physical limitations will be.
I got the results of the Pet scan ..the lung cancer has remained localized , so appears I am at stage 1B, so it was caught early ... which would give me a 59% chance of beating it.... I still have a very rough ride ahead of me but at least now that burden is going to be a hell of a lot easier to bare.
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Well it has been a little over a month since my last journal entry and since that time I have recieved some good news and bad with regards to the health problems.
Starting with the bad ..lung cancer is confirmed.. I am currently going thru the staging process including checks to see if cancer exists anywhere else in my body.
My heart problems became severely unstable a couple weeks ago, so my meds where changed from a generic to a brand name and the dosage doubled to make sure it stays stable.. the meds will help to prevent any further arrhthymias, and will prevent angina or heart attack to ensure it will remain in good shape to allow me to get thru surgery. the actual heart and valves shows there is no damage.. the problems is caused by an irrated nerve that is causing electrical problems..so good news there.
the other good news is that the arthritis is not rheumatoid arthritis but Hypertrophic Pulmonary Osteoarthropathy which occurs in about 4% of lung cancer patients it is a rare condition but very agressive while occuring but the good part is once the tumor in removed within 2 to 4 weeks the pain and swelling will disappear and within 3 to 6 months the changes to the bones, nails and skin and other symptom wll correct themselves it is this condition that is causing the nerve irritation that is affecting my heart so even the heart problem will likely be resolved..the other good news about this condition is that it does not occur in small cell lung sarcomas...so the type I would have is non small cell which which is a slower growing cancer plus is operational ...it did not pick the best spot to form so I will lose 2/3rd to all of my right lung...but it does mean I have a greater chance of being in the 16% odds of surviving greater than 5 years...so I am going in fighting. 27 years ago I had ovarian cancer today odds of surviving more the 5 years is set at 45% back then the odds where far lower and I beat then ...so I already know from first hand experience that putting up a fight against is worth the effort.
Because this is much more serious surgery than I had faced 27 years ago and the recovery time will be far longer I made a decision to rehome 3 of my 4 dogs as I know will be hard on the dogs as too much of a burden to place on my family to take of me, the house plus that many dogs...it was a difficult decision as they have been part of the family for several years and the house already feels very empty with them gone..but i know all 3 will be very well cared for.
One thing I am doing is counting my blessings through this as I have made some good friends since my health problems start...and it is nice having a cheering squad supporting me as i enter in to this battle.
..and through this site I have also met others also currently battling cancer and I admire their strengths and determination they all are showing in their efforts to beat and I wish them success.
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they say trouble comes in 3s and I sure as heck found it.... about a month ago ended with enough joint pain and swelling that finally forced me to go to a doctor ..intially I thought it was some kind infection due to the rapidity and because it was aftecting most of my joints within 3 weeks all the testing /xrays have confirmed it to be Auto Immune Rhuematoid Arthritis and I also told the doctor about my heart racing incidences so chest xray and EKG was ordered ..the timing of the tests could not have been better because during the test I had a major episode with a heart rate of over 200 beats per minute and blood pressure falling drastically and ended up rushed to ER and ended up in ER again over the next 3 day for the same thing after a couple trial they found a mdication that is appearing to control it though is keeping my blood pressure/pulse very low with concerns it may fall too low is land me in the hospital again .. and just as I got that part mostly settled I got the call from my doctor to come in the next day there is a problem... so problem number 3 is that a shadow/mass is present in the lower right lung...so the doctor is trialing me on antiboitics and doing a ctscan inorder hoping it is walking pnuemonia..if it is then it would provide for a cause of the heart problems if not could be look far more serious problems ..so right now I am pretty much forced to take it easy and just take one day at a time and hope some of the issues can be easily resolved or managed ... LOL one of the things that helped me get thru this past very hectic week in and out of the hospital was trying to mentally associate all the blood work , needle catherers for IVs and hook ups to heart monitors and ECG scanner with medical play .. it was not 100% successful but it helped ..and helps more when one has a good looking handsome doctor like I had for one of my days in ER.
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I came into this lifestyle a little over a year ago after looking up some info about bondage after exploring once upon a time with one dating partner and stumbled on some articles on D/s relationships and it was like a lightbulb had finally went on and I realized that the relationship dynamics is what I had been searching for over the years.
So I kind of dived in ... I have not found the one yet but I have had 3 successful meets/short relationship ..that proved to me I am on the right track and even though the relationships ended the friendships and support remain, so to Max, David and Whit ..thankyou .
Unfortunately not every relationship ends on a positive note.. and I am currently feeling the hurt and anger of one that ended a couple days ago..finding out I had been lied to and deceived and then verbally mocked by him as a fool for trusting him ..was a bitter pill to swallow...and I accept part of the blame as I likely missed/ignored warning signs that things were not as they appeared and therefore misplaced my trust and feelings as a result..
.. though I may need a couple days to lick my wounds...I promise not to waste much energy on, as it is not worth it ...I won't stop the search .. the positive experiences and friendships have showed me it is worth continuing to plug away ....including many of the kind words I have received from others who read the expressions of my hurt feelings .. the support and advice has been appreciated. ... hugs to all....there is great communitity here , and overall I have had a good first year and I hope to enjoy many more
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| Age: 31 |
| Toronto,
Canada |
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