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The Largest BDSM Community on the Planet

Knowledgeable Dominant looking and seeking others for conversations. My journals are for all t
Hetero Male Dominant, 55,  CLOSE, New York
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MstrMetalBender MochaFlower

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 Dominant Male


 New York

 Willing to Relocate

 6' 6"

 280 lbs





Actively Seeking:

Submissive Female

Friends Only


 Licensed Physician

Knowledgeable Dominant looking and seeking others for conversations. My journals are for all to view and learn from. If anyone has any questions, by all means ask them. I am not here to judge nor tell anyone what we communicate about. I am old school and walk the path of teaching others.

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Journal Entries:
11/25/2017 11:32:05 PM

Sub drop is much more commonly known than dom drop. Sub drop is essentially an overwhelming negative feeling subs get right after a scene or even days after. Sub drop is something that is so variable that it’s hard to tell exactly what might happen. In general, as a sub, you might feel anything from a little bit of depression all the way down to complete hysterics. It’s really just knowing how you react to any kind of situation.

And not every sub will react the same in every type of situation. Any kind of scene has a certain risk factor and has to be approached carefully and with a watchful eye. The more intense the scene the harder the drop. A lot of times this emotional roller coaster is actually caused by a number of chemicals the body produces naturally so it needs to be handled delicately. While a sub’s past can affect sub drop it’s also very important to understand that MOST subs experience this on some level and as a dom, you need to be ready to give your sub the support they need.

You also need to understand that there is no time frame for sub and Dom drop. These drops can happen immediately after the scene and be taken care of through normal aftercare. But some drops may occur hours or days later which is why it’s important that you make yourself reasonably available for your play partners. Yes, we all have jobs and school and lives but as a Dom, you are making a certain level of commitment to your play partner by involving yourself in any situation that may involve Dom/sub drop.

Please also keep in mind that Dom drop is a thing that exists and needs to be addressed. A lot of times people don’t consider the effect that scenes have on Doms. Dom drop is not as common as sub drop but it does happen and when it does there needs to be an open line of communication between partners. Dom’s may need aftercare just as much as a sub, especially if the Dom is having problems outside their own lives or if the scene is particularly intense.

I have really only seen Dom drop happen in two scenarios (though it can occur in any situation and that is 100% fine!). The most common one I see is Dom’s who participate in non-con scenes that are particularly violent or real feeling. I’m sorry, but putting yourself in the mindset of someone who is trying to force someone else to have sex is not an easy thing to walk away from without being affected. It is perfectly fine to have that moment of doubt or fear (especially if you happen to be enjoying it a lot) but when this occurs you need to sit down with your sub and tell them what happened and if you want to make changes to similar scenes in the future than that needs to be hashed out as well. Communication is the biggest part of working past any sort of kinky roadblock!

The second situation I’ve seen Dom drop happen in is in the case of people who have very, very controlling personalities and come out of a scene and back into the real world where they have very little control. This is something I see in some beginner Doms, though I have certainly seen it happen in more experienced Dom’s as well.

The bottom line is that Sub drop and Dom drop can occur at any time, any place, any scene so you need to be prepared to handle that, no matter what your role is and be a supportive partner for those you play with. Being part of the BDSM community means taking on a lot of responsibility and handling it gracefully

11/25/2017 11:28:25 PM

There are 6 different types of collars in D/s M/s lifestyle. BD&SM.  

The First collar is a consideration collar 

While not used universally, a collar of consideration is a popular choice for new relationships. You may see it primarily in Master/slave relationships, but not always. The definition is quite literal. When you wear this collar, it means you’re under consideration to be your partner’s slave or submissive. Think of it as a stepping stone collar. You can move up to a permanent collar if you both decide the relationship works or you can remove it if the relationship isn’t what you want.

Second Training Collar

In some kinky relationships, the next step after a collar of consideration is a training collar. Other kinksters might start with a training collar and ignore the collar of consideration. These collars are typically worn by slaves while they’re being trained. It’s a symbol of where they are in the process of their D/s relationship. Once training is complete or your Dominant feels like you’re properly trained, you may “level up” to a new type of collar.

Third is a protection collar

To most people in BDSM, collars symbolize ownership and protection of some sort. Many kinksters will see a collared submissive and assume they “belong” to someone. A protection collar affords the wearer the ability to be left alone by most other single Dominants without as much responsibility as someone in a training collar or collar of consideration. Don’t make light of this collar, though. While it’s worn, it signifies that a Dominant takes some kind of responsibility for the submissive wearing it. At the same time, that submissive represents the Dom providing protection.

Fouth is a Play collar

A play collar may be the most relaxed kind of collar of the bunch. This is the one you wear to a kinky scene. John Brownstone and I don’t follow any particular hierarchy of collars but we do believe in the play collar. When he puts it around my neck – at the BDSM club or at home – my body and mind prepare itself for the kinky fuckery to come. It’s useful (thanks to the D rings on it) and also a symbol of our power exchange.

Fifth is a Day collar

kinksters who want to collar or be collared, the day collar is extremely useful. It’s often a piece of jewelry that can pass in the vanilla world. You and your partner know it’s a collar and what meaning it holds, but no one else does. You don’t have to deal with awkward questions but also don’t have to give up an important symbol of your kinky relationship. Some submissives have multiple styles so they’re always collared but have a look for every occasion. While I don’t have an official day collar, I do have a locking necklace that I never take off and is pretty enough to get plenty of compliments

Sixth is a permanent collar

 permanent collar, for some D/s relationships, symbolizes your status as a permanent D/s couple and is as binding as a wedding band. For some people, a permanent collar is a piece of jewelry that can be taken off but isn’t. For others, their collar has a locking mechanism and their Dominant has the key. This type of collar typically doesn’t come off for any reason. If it’s taken off, it can mean the relationship is over or you’re taking a break from the D/s side of things.

Not everyone places a lot of importance or symbolism on collars. But many people do. It’s important to discuss how you feel about collars with your partner. If one of you considers it as serious as marriage and the other whips it off after every fight, you’re likely going to experience a big disconnect between you that may be hard to resolve. Part of that discussion is having an understanding of what different kinds of collars mean to you.

9/11/2017 1:42:06 PM

submissives/slaves in sub-space &Feral states

How does a Dominant teach a sub not to fear their aggressive side? How do you keep control?


This is a really tricky and slippery slope and every Dominant has their own take on it, however, I will say very few Dominants will venture into this realm PURPOSELY especially with an alpha male sub.  It’s not only emotionally taxing it can be very dangerous as well. Most Doms will tap into this realm accidentally. Sadists may seek this realm purposely.


I’m not going to talk about the nature of a slave as I want to discuss the aggressive side. In this discussion, I’ll use slave/sub interchangeably. This is not a topic I discuss in my books as it’s not something I ever want a newbie to try and do. Not to mention, there may be legal risks involved as well since you’re actually playing in the psychological realm when you go feral and in many ways the individual disconnects with their conscious self. Anyway, forgive me if I bounce around a bit, this is one of those topics that is so convoluted, I only discuss with experienced Dominants and only those that actually experience it or are Sadistic and purposely seek this realm. As always, it’s easier for me to address the issue as if you’re the one embarking on this journey. Please note I am not talking about mere aggression and someone being hardcore; I am talking about the feral side of a slave…the beast within or as a slave I know calls it, “his monster.” (Please note, I am not speaking of roleplay in which someone pretends to be a cat or an animal.) This is a state of being that is very scary to the slave/submissive as it means they’re out of control.  I’m going to concentrate on alpha sub males at this point however the same can be true of alpha female submissives; and though they’re rare, they’re out there. I know one who reminds me of Zena and going up against her in aggressive mode is intimidating…in feral mode, let’s just say you want her tied to something since she’s lethal.  Also, not all slaves/subs will ever reach this state, and your quiet ones don’t venture here. It’s the alpha slaves which are more prone—or rather more likely to stumble here. Or a Dominant male who’s being submissive to another male or Dominant woman. However, beta subs/slaves can also achieve this state.


Anyone can crash into a feral state whether from impact play or emotional play/stressors.


Feral states can happen to anyone (slave or Dom—male or female) if the play reaches a point where the person taps into their primal identity.  A great book on feral states is Extreme Space by FRR Mallory. It’s a bit hard to find, but if you do, get two copies.  (Though Extreme Space focuses more on subspace than Domspace it has great tips on what to do when things go really bad in a scene.)


A Feral state is when someone has crossed over from their submissive state. Their conscious logical mind isn’t functioning and they are in their primal state. Normally feral states are reached when you’re doing heavy impact play however it can happen on command and when you’re engaging in psychological or edge play.  Examples: of these are Interrogation scenes, kidnappings, edge play, breath play and anything that’s very edgy.


During feral states, the slave may not be coherent, may become violent, may talk in a foreign language if they know any—even one they barely use—or don’t know. (The brain is funny that way.) The individual will be pumped on adrenaline and endorphins –yes, it’s like they were drunk and doing speed at the same time so their strength will seem like it suddenly multiplied by ten. Their facial expressions will change, their breathing changes and they may even become very predatory. They may react violently or become very still and quiet like a lion waiting to pounce as soon as you turn your back on him or release him if you had him/her tied up. And you’ll know when they’ve hit feral state because the hairs at the back of your neck will stand up.  


Never release someone who’s in a feral state from their restraints! You’d be putting your safety and theirs on the line. I’d only recommend release—as a last resort—if the individual was causing injury to themselves while being tied down. Ie: pulling against the restraints so much he’s cutting himself or breaking bones. Yep, that can happen. They’re feral. Think of a wolf caught in a trap and gnawing his own paw off. Try to calm them down prior to release.


Never try to fight them unless you know you can subdue them! Pitting your strength against theirs is like adding gasoline to the fire. What you want to do is take control physically in such a way you tap into their submissive core. For instance, grabbing them by the throat and squeezing. Talking to them and refocusing them. Get them to look down at their toe because “it’s green”. Yes, I know that sounds silly but believe me, it works. It’s like short-circuiting the brain. Sooth them. Talk softly to help calm them, to help ground them, and make them fully conscious and alert to you and themselves.


I knew one Dominant woman who’s slave got loose from his restraints during a feral state and stated he was going to kill her. She used the green toe example.  She kept saying it over and over, asking him, “Why is your toe green. Look at it. It’s green.” until he finally looked and it confused him and it made him stop for a moment—the short-circuit effect.  She then redirected him into playing with his rope which helped him to calm down since it was a strong fetish for him. You don’t want a feral sub binding you.


Another Dominant purposely called out the beast in her slave. He was reaching subspace and she put her arm before him and told him to bite. He immediately went feral on her; biting her arm almost to the point of breaking the skin. She then took control of him, making him submit once more using breath play to push him higher into subspace and then releasing his beast once more. She repeated this pattern several times until he stopped and started on command and you could see his mind struggling to keep up. This was a very emotionally intense scene. And when she finally brought a stop to it, the slave actually knelt before her and cried begging for forgiveness for hurting her when he saw the damage he’d done to her arm and thanking her for taking away his fears.  (The slave had been afraid he’d injure her because of his background and figured she wouldn’t be able to control him if he became aggressive—something he often did when playing with other—men and women.) He was also known for turning the tables on Dominant women and controlling the scene. She proved she could stand toe to toe with him and still retain control. She wore long sleeves for over a week. And though he wasn’t “tamed” by any definition of the word as he’s still wild and causes trouble (laughs—he has quite a reputation here), you can see the submission in him and admiration he has for her when they’re together. 


From an emotional/psychological level after the encounter the sub can feel:



*terrified (coming face to face with your primal self)

*may retreat – run away and then return (or not)

*become very emotional and cry inconsolably

*become withdrawn and introspective.

*have extreme trust in himself and especially the Dominant


*feel a sense of wholeness


From a Dominant perspective:




*aggression (drawing out the feral part of a person can be very erotic and invigorating)

*pain (yep, you can get hurt)

*fear (it’s scary tapping into the beast within—especially if you didn’t mean to—and if you’re a Sadist and you have a masochist you’ve got major synergy going on and one feeds the other so this can be very scary because the Dominant is tapping into their own beast and things can get very dangerous. And yes, some individuals have gotten seriously hurt—thus risk awareness is essential.)


*a sense of peace and wholeness.  (or as I love to say, “it quiets the voices”.) The trick to surviving feral/primal drop-ins is to remain calm. If the Dominant panics, things can get really ugly.  Assert control either physically or mentally. Though remember mentally the person in primal/feral states is not there so re-directing/re-focusing is imperative and essential. I would never recommend a novice Dominant (male or female) purposely tap into a sub’s feral state. That’s just stupidity! I also wouldn’t recommend someone just starting into a relationship attempt to engage that level with another. There’s no real trust established and no real control/dominance in place to ensure control of the beast. This will lead to injury and/or a sense of betrayal by the submissive.


Yes, the scene can be hot and erotic as hell; however, there are dues to pay afterward both physically and emotionally for both Dom/sub. The last thing you want to happen is that the slave feels guilt or shame for injuring you or you injuring him to keep yourself safe, or having him injure himself because he was trying to break out of his restraints.


I wouldn’t recommend this type of play with someone who’s got blatant PTSD issues. You’re just asking for hospitalization at that point. Nor anyone who is not able to give conscious –intellectual—consent


As for Aftercare, this is one of those times that taking care of the Dominant may actually be the Aftercare the submissive needs especially if he’s feeling guilty. Then again, the sub may simply “crash” and the Dom is left to pick up the pieces and clean themselves off.


What I mean by “crash” is that the sub hits subspace so hard and the endorphins kick in so fast that he may actually pass out or not have motor skills for a while.  Emotionally the sub may not be able to do anything but “hold onto” the Dominant while crying or withdrawing into himself.


These are just a few points that I think are the most important to know; however, there are many others. For those that have reached this level of interaction and/or witnessed it, please feel free to share your opinions and experiences.


Ok, I think I hit all the highlights at this point

9/11/2017 6:59:27 AM
Sub-space understanding

It should be mentioned that the responsibility of a Dom or Top cannot be understated. You must be very confident in your abilities to take charge of a situation by yourself, if you are not positive that you can take care of a person that has put their complete trust in you to be responsible for their safety and well-being while they are helpless, do not proceed. These discussions give due regard to your responsibilities as a Dom or Top.


Start out lite. The natural anxiety that the submissive will start out will gradually dissipate the more aroused they become. As the Top your approach should be calm and confident; this will help greatly to ease the submissive through this process. If this is the first time for the submissive they will either be very attuned to your mental disposition -trying to read you and pick up on your signals – or focusing heavily on their own experience. You will need to know, either through prior knowledge or an apt reading of the submissive, whether to keep them in their present space or move them elsewhere.

Your first priority is easing the submissive through the initial anxiety. Think of this as your introductory paragraph to an epic journey that someone has commissioned you to write for them. Your first paragraph sets the tone for the rest of the piece. If you start off weak, you will spend the rest of your effort recovering the audience’s confidence. Not the place you want to be with a human’s emotional state in your hands. Take it seriously, be smart about it, and go slow until you have a solid feel for their disposition. The first phase is not only to prepare the submissive mentally but also physically. Depending on the areas of the body you intend to focus on in the session, you should begin warming up the skin and muscles of that region. Never strike cold skin or muscles.

You should have a moderate grasp of the submissive’s characteristics as you transition to the next phase. If the first phase is an introductory paragraph your following phases should be like movements in a symphony. As every music lover has their own particular taste, so do submissives and Doms in the rhythm, tempo, and vigor that resonates with them.

To be more specific with your second phase, you should continue to build the submissive’s trust and confidence in your decision-making process, that you will be disciplined in your actions, and not get carried away in the session. The key in this initial process is to get the submissive to let go of their concerns so that they are not still attempting to reinforce their decision to trust you with this power but that they are satisfied with their decision to embark on this epic journey that you have just detailed to them in the first phase.

Typically, once you are confident in your grasp of a submissive’s disposition towards the activities, you should begin to transition between warming them up mentally and physically to refining your understanding of their thresholds, gradually moving towards the latter. It should be noted that there are differences between threshold and limits:

Thresholds are temporary peaks of tolerance for the submissive that is overcome through the process and the will of each person in the session, such as starting with three spanks and letting those settle in before moving on, rather than starting off with 20 spankings.

Soft limits are pre-discussed objections of a submissive (such as anal play) that might be overcome during the session if the submissive so agrees. Soft limits can help as guidelines as you map the submissive’s persona. As a Dom, do not attempt to overcome soft limits until you are very familiar with the submissive’s disposition. It may be best to wait, a few sessions before attempting to overcome, submissive of limits.

Hard limits are non-negotiable restrictions on what may transpire during the session. These hard limits can be for several reasons—moral, hygienic, and even health limitations (such as age play, body fluids or a health condition where the submissive should not be upside down) that any Dom, veteran or beginner must know, respect, and honor.

After properly walking the submissive through the mental and physical warming-up phase and having the opportunity to take them through a few of their thresholds, you have probably been at it for approximately 30-45 minutes—3-4 endo-cycles. For a first time, depending on the person and the intensity of the session, this is a healthy place to wrap the session up. It is true you might be able to go longer, some people can and some will, but you will both be better off stopping at a safe place and having a positive experience from which to return and play again.

For the submissive, subspace can occur at the highest levels and most intense pleasure peaks. Some distinguish between a physiological subspace and a psychological subspace; what we are talking about here is the physiological subspace, which is triggered by physical stimulation. When this state occurs, the submissive may be having a slight out-of-body experience (in a good way) with sensations of warmth, calmness, bliss, and weightlessness. Kind of like you are getting a full body massage in a floating hot tub, looking up at the Milky Way. It is a different head space altogether, and it becomes a challenge to hold up your own body. The submissive may have difficulty focusing on anything, have poor eye contact and find it hard to form full sentences. How long the subspace lasts will obviously vary between individuals. One of us has experienced this, and when it happened, we were later told that we were in this space for about 15 minutes before rolling ourselves in a blanket burrito and falling asleep. During this time, our partner was very gentle, got us a glass of water, and stroked our hair, which was very appreciated.


If this is something you want to explore with your partner, just remember to take it slow, make sure everyone’s health concerns are addressed, ensure good communication practices, and don’t forget to keep comforting music, objects, or other pampering items around for the aftercare. Check out other forums and converse with Tops and bottoms so you can get a better idea of how you might like your own experience to go.

9/8/2017 9:42:45 AM
Here are step by step instructions how to make a girl squirt: 
You can start by performing oral on her inner thighs, clitoris and labia especially, to start getting her relaxed and wet. You must continually suck and lick the clitoris throughout the duration of the whole oral act, because of oral increases power, pleasure and increases chances of female ejaculating orgasm. 
With the hand you write with, take two fingers closest to your thumb (pointer and middle finger) and make them wet with her pussy juice or with your mouth. The most important thing is to make sure your nails are trimmed and not sharp because you could hurt her. 

Slide those two fingers in, with the fingerprint part of the fingers facing up (nails down), slide them in firmly but slowly, as far as they will go without using too much pressure. If she is really tight you may need to start with one, and if there is a lot of wetness but resistance, you may need to tease and taste her pussy some more. Once you get those fingers in, tease her inner walls slowly with the pads of your fingers, and get her even juicier. When you think that she is ready to have the orgasm of her life, you may begin: 
Now you will maneuver your fingers to find her g-spot. Yes, it exists, and yes, every woman has one. Slide your fingers in about 2 inches, UP, and then BACK towards the front of the pussy (like you’re going up behind her clitty). Her g-spot is actually a patch of her inner walls which is on the FRONT INNER WALL of her pussy, above the hole itself. So, in, up, and back towards the entrance. You should feel, on that wall, a very rough patch of skin rougher than the rest of her smooth inner pussy. You’ve found it. Congratulations. 

By making a beckoning motion with your two fingers (a come hither, bending fingers motion), you should be able to pull the fingerprint/pad part of the tips of your two fingers against that spot. Try it. Pull back against it with your two fingers and press a little. Tease it, stimulate it with your fingers. Make her feel good. She should be squirming and breathing very heavily by now. 
As you start to rhythmically tap/press/pull your fingertips against the g-spot, she should start getting wetter. If you’re doing it right, and she’s comfortable with it, you’ll start to hear squelching, sponge-like sounds. The g-spot is like a sponge, it contains a lot of liquid, and feels rough. Keep pressing your fingers against it, over and over, rhythmically, with the same kind of rhythm as if you were sliding your cock in and out of her pussy. 

As she starts to get wetter and enjoy it more, start doing it harder. The more she thrashes from side to side, the harder you do it. Eventually, you can replace the tapping/poking of the g-spot with an outright speed-sliding of those two fingers in and out of her hole. Do it faster and faster, maintain the rhythm, but increase the f***e. Even when you’re slamming them straight in and out of her hole, try and maintain an upward, outward f***e with the fingertips, so you’re still pressing up against that g-spot even as you’re slamming her with your fingers with reckless abandon. 

Through all of this, she should be squelching, squirming and OBVIOUSLY loving it. If she’s not, you should stop. If she says it hurts (especially if she says it more than once, you might want to stop or at LEAST slowdown or not do it so hard. Make sure she’s always wet, not dry for any period of time. 

Now here’s the crucial part. When she gets close to ejaculation, she will say that she needs to pee. SHE DOES NOT NEED TO PEE. It’s just a temporary sensation that will pass, but you have to make sure she knows about it beforehand, and you have to make sure she does not stop you, and you do not desist in your slamming. Hold her legs apart with the other hand, if you have to. You can even use your head or knees or whatever to hold her legs open, but make sure she stays relatively still (or she might get hurt on your fingers) and that you KEEP GOING. In fact, when she needs to pee, that’s when you should start doing it harder, cause orgasm is around the corner. 
10-50 seconds after the pee sensation begins, she will start to cum. When she does, DON’T STOP. Just do it harder and harder and harder, pressuring the g-spot upwards all the while. Now she should start to ejaculate. She’ll scream, and her pussy will start shooting clear (transparent), odorless liquid all over the place. There could be a lot of it, it might soak you completely and soak the sheets and everything around her, so make sure you’re prepared. 

I guarantee you, if she’s never had one before, the squirting orgasm will be the best orgasm of her life. In my experience, 97% of women are capable of having them, and in certain circumstances, I think it’s more like 99.9%. If you want her to ejaculate in great volumes, have her drink lots of water before you do it, and stay well hydrated. Once she’s finished squirting, SHE CAN SQUIRT AGAIN. Especially if you didn’t do it too hard, and still got her to cum, you can usually start all over, and between one and ten minutes later, she’ll be squirting again. Usually, you have to do it harder each time. My record is seven. The girl that squirted seven times in 45 minutes passed out for 6 hours afterward (it’s physically exhausting and dehydrating) so be careful if you try more than 2 at once. 

Most girls pass out after a couple of them. This can make a girl fall in love and at the very least want to fuck your brains out, so use it wisely rather than to your advantage. Don’t take advantage of people using this. If you do it wrong, or if she’s on her period, she might bleed. That’s usually okay, but just make sure you don’t hurt her, and you stop if she’s screaming with pain, rather than pleasure. 

You should always have a safe word with your partner, and you should always make sure she knows what you intend to do and that she’s fine with it. Enjoy this, and I hope it works out for you; I hope it works out for her, even more so. If it does well, just wait and see. I’m not jealous of women because of g-spot orgasms! There’s NO male equivalent it’s just absolute ecstasy, nothing less. Remember there are at least fifty ways to make a woman cum (actually lots more) and at least five different types of orgasms so don’t limit yourselves to this whether it works or not!

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