How do people that profess to be a part of the BDSM community, Leather lifestyle, etc. justify being judgmental of other's lifestyles and interests?  I have been around the spanking bench a time or two and I don't get it. 

People need to get over the "my kink is better than your kink" and the "your kink is not ok" crap.  I really thought that mess went out with the new millennium.

If you want others to accept you for whom and what you are then you have to be willing to accept others for whom and what they are.  It shouldn't matter what you like to play with, what you want stuffed in you or where you prefer to put your genitalia as long as it's consensual. 

I hope this gets through to some of the more judgmental readers but somehow I doubt it will.  Bigotry, in all of its forms, is about ignorance and intolerance.  Yes, bigotry.  What else would you call it?

I haven’t written anything in a while so I thought I would talk a moment about My favorite subject.  ME! 

It’s been a strange year so far.  I’ve been keeping busy with HPEP, NLA, HBBWA, MAsT, etc.., as well as My other extracurricular activities.

 My new job is very challenging.  I have been there since March.  As of July 12^th I will have a new title and pay rate.  I guess that’s not too bad for someone that felt like I didn’t know what the hell I was doing just a little over two months ago.  “Fake it ‘til you make it” works well in the vanilla world too folks.  LOL  Oh, the new title?  Revenue Analyst.

At least I can say I’m excited about what I do for a living again.  I had gone way past that in My last job and began to dread going to work every day because I was sooooo board with it.  There’s nothing boring about work now.

I was elected Chairman of the Board for HPEP June 21^st.  Thank you My friends that have welcomed me to the position and congratulated Me.  I hope I can live up to your expectations and those of my other pears.

I have been “test driving” potential slaves lately.  It’s been a bit tiring actually.  I haven’t been able to find the right fit with My family.  I have spent time with subs that fit Me well enough but there always seems to be something to keep them from belonging with My poly household.  I have to admit I’m becoming a bit discouraged.  I keep pluggin’ away at it though.  Fortunately none of those failed attempts have completely washed away My determination.  I’ll let you know when success is achieved.

I will be presenting My girl leather this month.  she has earned it.  After a little over five years as My slave and she still hasn’t slit My throat while I sleep.  That’s worth something.  J   Actually, she has learned a lot and, like all slaves, she gets reminded of her place from time to time but she has earned a lifetime place in My home and family.

I am proud of cat and want to show her so.

Well that’s enough for now.  I know I don’t blog or journal much but I will endeavor to come back and update when there’s something worth telling.

     I got My flog order in from S.M.Hertz.  I don't know if that's really her name or not, I've never asked because of the anonymous nature of our lifestyle, but she makes the most fantastic flogs.  The prices are very reasonable.  I got a, custom made to order, supersize thudder in less than 24 hours.  I had her match the braid and colors on the handle from the first flog I ever bought, which I still use frequently.  The new one is moose hide, 70, 36 inch falls and a double grip handle.  I even went ahead and picked up a matched set of light weight, Elk skin floggers for florentine work. They are perfectly matched in weight and ballance.

     I had the opportunity to play a couple of subs at the HPEP play party last night and they hated (loved) the super thudder.  LOL

     I reccomend S.M. Hertz to anyone that is looking for quality, custom flogs.  Check out www.smhertz.com.  I rarely (never) advertise for anyone but I am soooo pleased and impressed with how quickly she was able to put together exactly what I wanted.  This lady rocks and so do her flogs.

Recently I have had my eyes opened to something that has been controversial in the BDSM community for some time.  The battle between SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) -vs. - RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink).  I, like many in the community, believed SSC was the only correct way of looking at a scene but how can we reconcile SSC with edge play?  After all, Safe is basically defined as "free from danger" and none of us can say that edge play falls into that category.  AS a good friend in the lifestyle points out often, "Safe is up to interpretation. Sane is up to interpretation. The only thing that is not up to interpretation is Consent."  So after re-evaluation of the terms I will have to consider RACK as a better guideline for me than SSC. 

Unsolicited Advice

After having read many of the profiles and journals of Collarme.com members, I have a bit of advice for everyone. 
Don't come here looking for the perfect Dom/Domme/Master/Misteress or sub/slave.  Perfection is unatainable.  Safety and security are only matters of perception and are not real.  Everyone has flaws and scars that need repairing and everyone brings baggage into new relationships.  There are so many in here that hope to find exactly what they advertise for but the truth is that your fantasy Dom or sub is just that.   A fantasy.  If you have 10 particular traits you are looking for in someone you will be lucky to find 5 of them in any one particular person.  It's just the way life truly is.  My father used to say "expect nothing and ye shall not be disapointed".  I used to think it was just another stupid Irish proverb but as I gain wisdom I have found that expectations ruin the ride. 
The best advice I can give you is from the teacher in the PBS cartoon THE MAGIC SCHOOL BUS (I used to watch it with My kids) "Get messy and take chances".  It really is the only way to learn anything about yourself and others.

What a weekend.  Fun, kink and debauchery.  I did a violet wand demo for HPEP, played another Dom's girl and sent her into space, had a close call with community leadership role and spent the rest of the weekend having my most base urges and desires taken care of by those I love and who love me. 
Isn't it amazing how, when your vanilla life isn't going as planned, your kink life gets better and wetter!!!!  LOL