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Masculine1

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I live by my passions and am always looking to broaden my horizons. Hopefully someday, the chaos of what is will unite with the chaos of what was and bring a happy sentimentalilty to my life in the form of a woman that can forever appreciate the man that I have become, upon meeting me, and visualize the man that I will be later on in life. BEFORE SENDING ME A FRIEND REQUEST, PLEASE NOTE THAT I USUALLY WILL ONLY ACCEPT REQUESTS FROM PEOPLE I HAVE MET OR AM PLANNING ON MEETING IN REAL LIFE. UNLESS YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY FASCINATING (AND IN THAT CASE, IT IS UP TO MY SOLE DISCRETION TO LABEL YOU THAT WAY, NOT YOURS). That being said…. KINK: I’m coming back to the kink community after a 3 year hiatus for personal reasons. Unless I know you, and we are close enough, I probably won’t go into details about what transpired, so don’t bother asking. That chapter of my life is in the past and I am moving forward, as it is the most healthy manner in which I can proceed.
I look at my kink not as a thing that I “do”. It embodies me with every turn of the road. I live it and breathe it, no matter what I am doing throughout the day. Not just because I have a penis and we are known to think about sex at least 6 times an hour. My kink has very little at all to do with sex. PAIN: I am a sadist by natural design. I love the energy transmission that occurs when pain is delivered from my hand to another’s body and being. It’s like the tale of the red string, but it is wrapped around the both of us and transmits concisely to where we need it to in that space and time. I go into scenes with my passions, but can hold them back when necessary, as sometimes my energy becomes too much for some and they can become overwhelmed by the exchange. I am fond of creative pain, in that most of the tools I implement I have either modified or made from genuinely innocent items. I like that that shoehorn can leave a welt…but how would it feel dipped in plasti-dip and given tails? See? LOVE: I don’t know if I am looking for love. I know I am looking for understanding. I know I want a primary play partner and lover in one person. Communication and trust is key in my world. I want someone to goto events and parties with. I miss that connection. I’ve done the open relationship thing. I don’t like it. I feel like it is the equivalent of a “get-out-of-emotional-responsibility-free” card, and that’s not how I work anymore. Not to say that I haven’t played that card in the past. But, again…new chapter, new life, new choices. You Scored as Dominant Oxford Dictionary: Dominance: power and influence over others (sexually) Dominant
89%
Sadist
86%
Experimental
82%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
61%
Switch
43%
Bondage
29%
Submissive
11%
Masochist
7%
Vanilla
7% If you know me, message me or send me a friend request. If you want to know me, message me.
8/1/2013 11:15:21 PM

I am back...after 5 years and many learning experiences...unfortunately my life has turned full circle and I seek someone that can be true to me. Someone that can bring me love and affection, for I have gone without over the past year, due to lack of communication and drive to succeed in our relationship.

 

I am single once again. And not very pleased about it.

4/2/2008 3:35:09 PM
Contrary to popular belief, love is not easy. Loving yourself, sometimes impossible.

You take the good with the bad, and hope that the prior outweighs the latter. Sometimes it does, and sometimes, you are left wondering where you went wrong...was it that last left at Albuquerque?

I look out windows today to see the sun, shining bright. I would like to go out there and visit the sun, ask it how its day has been, but my body and mind want to be indoors, sheltered from view.

But, this isnt the Rob we all know and love, is it, you may ask? Where is the glee and heartfelt warmth that rings constant in his every word? Where is the compassionate plight of the Sadist by Design? Where did Rob go?

I am still here, just a little off today, and have been for about a week now. Addiction is an interesting thing. And, don't get your hopes up, I'm not cool enough to be addicted to anything like heroine or cocaine...no, not them, but just as strong, stronger in my opinion...

The torment of me right now is "Do I really want to quit?"
Parts of me that hold a spiritual channel that tells me that I should for spiritual reasons.

The other holds a romantic channel that wants to secure my beloved with the knowledge that I will be around as long as possible to be at her side, and her at mine to serve me.

Then, there is the addictive side, and the rebel within. He doesnt want to. He likes it. Rather enjoys it actually. Likes the accoutrements that go along with it.

Sure it's an addiction, but honestly ladies and gents, when have I ever done anything that I was supposed to?

Well, wether I do or don't, I am still me. Regardless of the popular concensus.

Rob (SBD)
3/25/2008 10:37:37 PM
The world is in disorder. Not my world, just the world in general.

Have you ever walked out the door on a sunny day, with the birds chirping, the sunbeams flitting off of your face, and think to yourself, aloud or in the quiet of your mind "How did everything get so freakin complicated?"

I do that from time to time. But then, I try and remind myself of the many reasons of why I am here and why I keep going on the path that I tread.

I won't go into those reasons, for the people that need to know already do, and the ones that don't, well, they can ask if they do so oblige.

My mind is in a constant state of progression. These thoughts are just as random as the next, and yet, to the unsolicited reader, they are as fluid as raindrops on a winter morning. I begin, and I end each day with a simple thought. More so than I can say for the rest of the world, but I don't intend to speak out for you all at once. That's simply not my job or intention in this life.

My flesh is eager to crawl away, with thoughts of anguish and the ebb and flow of emotion that surrounds me and distorts the views of life as we all know it to be. My thoughts begin and end, though. Still, to this very day.

There is no rhyme or reason for these words, if only for the fact of explaining that I am who I am, and if that isn't enough for some, it is for the others it matters to most.


My thoughts begin and end. Simple enough, isn't it? For I am a simple man. Easy to please, but not to forget. I am still, though, a simple man. I have a need and a want. Those can be satisfied or destroyed as easily as yours can be.

I am a simple man.

And yet, my thoughts begin and end...
3/18/2008 8:46:10 PM
As I sit here, stoic with the thoughts that my dear is off to dinner, I wonder how many of you have truly found that special someone that fits you like a glove...

I am certainly hoping that there are many of you out there that have, because I must say, it is bliss in the most extravagant form possible. I have traversed time and space, I have flown the seas of my own thoughts, I have made passion out of pain, and never before have I felt the way that I do. Truly in bliss, and only one person to thank for that.

The time I have spent on collarme.com has been great, I must admit. There have been good meetings, people have been generous in their opinions and the meetings that didnt go oh so well, well...they were what they were...

Mistakes have been made (well, not on my part, I'm supposed to be perfect, right?...hehehe), but we have all learned from them. I certainly have. I have grown as a person, as a dominant man in such a confusing world, and still do, as time passes me every day.

My journeys have brought me joy, pain, sorrow, and finally, where I am now and will be for QUITE SOME TIME, bliss. Pure unadulterated bliss.

Every day is a new adventure in the pleasures I hope you all have to come...

And with that, I bid you good days...
2/9/2008 6:12:44 PM
A SADIST'S PLIGHT:

Time now to reflect.......

I have become agitated. I know why and that reason is simple. I am a sadist with nobody to beat.

This surrounds me on a daily basis.
Don't get me wrong, I am also a dominant male, by many different definitions of the term. But the sadist in me wants to play, and I am forcefully having to hold him at bay in order to wait for the right person to come along....

Unfortunately, there aren't a lot of those people in the world...they look upon us in disguising ways, make us out to be monsters, and run casually away in fear for their own flesh....

It isn't your felsh that we crave, my little pretties...It is the consistency for which we control that flesh, mold it, abuse it, and treat it as our own personal plaything.

I am reminded of the days of old, cast down from generations upon generations of abuse, when public floggings were the thing to see on a Sunday morning...mmmmm, ahhhh, the memories....

We are a deeper people than you all give us credit for. Your suffereing is our delight, and with that, comes heaven on earth. For the both of us, not just selfishly my own...

I cannot get enough of your flesh, and do not attempt in any way to subside that need...It is a part of me, and with that part, I believe you crave it as well. And, I am usually never wrong. Usually.

Albeit, I have broken an individual or two, made them cry in fear of their very own existence, but isn't it that fear for which you submit, to better understand what binds you to another human being, and your need to serve as an outlet for that binding?

I am caught in a world of mishapen understandings on the entity known as the sadist. You scoundrel, they say. You evil being. You're only intention is to hurt. To cause pain.

But that isn't entirely true, my little dears...now is it?

My intention is to set you free from your flesh, to help you understand that this skin you reside in on a daily basis is but a mere shadow of the self you hide from in public view. You are just as aroused by the feeling of the whip straightening out your back as I am the feeling behind causing the reaction to your skin. Whip turns to skin turns to welt turns to scar turns to reminder of your own humanity....Mmmmmm, delightful in it's simplicity....

Purely delightful....and yet, this happens not to secure my needs, so I will stop writing.
1/29/2008 5:49:22 PM
Many people have asked me to, so I think I will oblige you all with another entry....

Why is it that we in the BDSM community must be tormented and subjected to GI Joe codenames and capitalized and non-capitalized terms and definitions. Isn't it hard enough relating to one another without the incessant need to use the upper case "D" or the lower case "s"...?

I mean, come the fuck on, people. It does not make you any more dominant when you spell it Dominant, and it doesn't make you any more submissive when you spell is "submissive".

As well as all of that, have you lost the ability to deduce that you are submissive, that you really feel the need to spell the word "we" with 2, count them 2 w's....Wwe is exactly as it is. Incorrect spelling on your part.

I don't know about the rest of the dominant men or women out there, but it really and truly does not impress me when I see a letter from a sub that uses these terms.

As far as GI Joe codenames, let me tell you a little story. An experience that I will never forget, in fact.

I once had a job working for Washington NARAL (National Abortion Rights Action League). When the CEO of the company came by to check up on the Washington district office, she asked me what my name was. I held out my hand to shake hers and simply stated "Robert".

She gave me an odd, cock-eyed expression, looked at me deeply, and said in a firm tone "Only dogs have one name, son. What is your name?"

After that, I smiled and gave her my full name. This is an example of what I am talking about.
When you introduce yourself as Foxfire or Master BlackAngel, I am going to do a few things:

1) Laugh whole-heartedly in your face as you put your hand out to shake mine.

2) Not shake your hand.

3) Probably tell you to put away your cloak, walking stick and flogger and go back to drama school where you rightfully belong.

If you cannot tell me your name, then you are not worthy of mine. If you lack that type of integrity and self respect, please, for the love of all that is holy to you, quit while you're ahead. How can I respect someone that cannot even take themselves seriously enough to use their own name when speaking to me.

My handle on collarme is merely that. A handle. A name that I don't have to do a lot of memory searching to recover. I use it quite profusely on many different accounts throughout the worldwide web. I do not introduce myself as Masculine1. I do not go by it in daily life. Why, you ask?

Because it's not my fucking name.

You wanna know about me, you ask.

If not, fuck off.

I'm just that simple.
12/29/2007 6:32:02 PM
Well, as it comes to pass, I have let the girl go. I will not go into descript reasons, but I will say this:

Get to know the people you are getting involved in. If things move too fast for you, get out. If things seem wrong because they are moving too fast, get out.

This is not up for discussion.
12/17/2007 8:30:11 PM

A story.

They walk into the foyer, she is behind him, and he proudly strides to the coatcheck. The people in the club ar just as they always are every month. Just there. There is nothing extraordinary about them. But, the couple happens to grab their attentions, as they walk in. Eyes roll and heads turn, fingers point and whispers fill the room in a haze of jealous antics.

"I've heard she'll hold her breath if he asks her to, even if it means passing out." a lady squeals to her cohort, as they stand holding their martini glass and screwdriver. The lady's eyes roll in opposition as they watch the man and woman enter and cross the room to the bar.

The man takes a seat at a bastool as the woman orders his drink for him. She watches fervently as the bartender mixes the concoction. One mixture out of tune and she would have to ask to mix the drink herself. She has done it so many times before, she could (and has) do it blindfold.

She brings him his drink. She whispers in his ear, her hands neatly at her side. He motions with nod and she orders her glass of red sangria, half full as per his orders.

He sits at the bar and turns to her. He whispers in her ear and gently nudges her off to the dancefloor, his hand leading her at the small of her waist.

She goes, alone, the dance floor, in plain view of her Master, for it is only him that she dances for. Nobody else could do for her. Not ever.

He watches her mve to the beats the DJplay through the loud PA system. She gyrates slowly, moving as if making love to him. Her eyes barely leave his. An overzealous man steps in front of her and starts to dance, hoping to grab her attentions. He doesn't know. How could he? Her eyes never leave her Master. She could burn a hole through this stranger with her gaze. She sees no one but her Master.

The night goes on. They leave the club and frequent a few more until the end of the night. The same jeers and whispers. The same backwards glances, the same people...just a different body. The night ends with them at their home. The smell of roses lingers in the air.

She lays in the clawfoot bathtub, bubbles surrounding her, as he takes the loufa sponge and scrubs her back. He sits on the edge of the tub, his button-up shirt rolled back at the sleeves.

"Why do they whisper about us, Master?", she says in a quiet, demure voice. It is the voice she has given to her Master. It is his, as is everything she is.

He combs his fingers through her beautiful black hair, looking at her with gentle loving kindness and pride, "They don't know. They cannot know. Not what it's like to be bound in the way that we are. To know, purely know that this is completion. They just don't know."

He soaps her hair, and rinses it with a pitcher specially bought only for her hair. As his hands gently wring her hair of the excess water, she looks up at him, smiles that smile that has taken him to complete peace and tranquility every day, and says "I understand, Master. They are confused. They are lost. I am not lost. But they are. Thank you for helping me to understand, Master." She smiles again, and faces forward for him to wash her still.

"Of course." He says.

12/15/2007 5:58:38 PM
I have found a beautiful woman that is the closest I have come, in all my searches, to being the ONE. Only time will tell, but I have good feelings about this.
12/4/2007 5:50:05 PM
So, I finally get to move into my new place on Friday! Yay.

All in all, it's been a pretty uneventful week. Seems to be dragging on and on, and I cannot seem to figure out why. It must be one of those things that happens.

Started a new painting a night or two ago.

Have a nude model for my next project. That won't start for another week or so.

Still seeking my muse, conspirator, partner in crime as it were...whatever we will be...

eh.
12/2/2007 5:27:27 PM
Hmmm, after that last journal entry, let's attend an evening of Lighten it up....

so, I get to move in a week, hopefully, as long as the apartment is ready...My car is finally mine, and I get 1200 dollars for owning it! Yay me.

As far as everything else goes, I have a company x-mas party to goto in salem on the 15th and no one to go with...lol..

At any rate, I am working on a new painting tonight...a peice of a trio I'm doing...turning out surprisingly how it should, even though I don't know how I'm doing it...must be that natural artist instinct.

On that note, I need a muse. Someone to inspire me, someone to motivate me creatively, sexually, intellectually. More than a muse as it were...

and the question begs to be asked.....where are you?
11/30/2007 3:43:29 PM
Let me reiterate what I AM and AM NOT looking for, so anyone interested will be apt to pledge some time to this....

I AM looking for:
submissives that are actually submissives, and don't just use the term because their last boyfriend tied them up with socks or novelty cuffs and fucked them from behind.

Please have an actual desire to learn, as well. I am an excellent teacher and take pride in a well-taught sub.
\
No baggage, please! I am not your "baby's daddy", your pocketbook or your psychological counselor. Please HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER! Don't look at me as completion of your life. If your life is not yet complete, because you feel the need to have accompaniment all the time, look elsewhere.

Don't ask me to chat and all you say is "Hello". I am a busy person and if I actually take the time to chat with you, either via this site or yahoo (my IM of choice), I actually want some stimulating conversation. I understand some of you are new to this technilogical era, but COME ON NOW! Talk if you say you want to talk. If not, put a ball gag in your mouth and call it a night.

I've also found that a lot of you subs out there have a tendency to fib about how you look physically. If you don't have a picture to show me that is 1) actually YOU, 2) Not just a head shot, because I will be working out more than just your head if we ever do connect in the REAL WORLD.

I cannot stress enough, on this fact....Do make sure that if you are communicating with me with the intended desire to meet me, that you take into account this fact: I am not your baby's daddy, nor do I want to be. I will not marry you, so look elsewhere if that's what you seek. I am a dominant man looking for my submissive. We may end up together forever, down the road, but do not expect me to create offspring with you. It's just not something I seek at this time.

With that said, please continue....
11/28/2007 2:50:19 PM
Ahhh, my move is imminent....And yet, I haven't packed a single item...perhaps tonight, but perhaps not. I am entertaining old friends (or should I say "Friend") tonight. So, If I don't I wont and I will get to it tomorrow...heheheh...I'm really not this much of a procrastinator....but I'll think about that some other time...lol
11/21/2007 4:37:23 PM
I sit at a computer that isn't mine and type away...she still hasn't shown her face, but that's ok. She will in time. Whomever she is, that is...

I'm patient. At least I believe myself to be that way...

A bottle of Reisling and organic wheat crackers with garlic and vegetable seasoning on them...yum! That is what I have waiting at home for me...

I refer to myself now as "tragically single", but not really that tragic. I enjoy the quality of my life, just looking for something/someone worthy to fill the gaps...to be my muse, as it were...

again, I ask...where are you and who are you?

11/7/2007 5:52:56 PM
And here I sit. a minute and 41 seconds to go before I should be going home...empty house...good wine, and fajitas....

where are you? who are you?

At any rate, I will eat, and relax.

another day, another life...another memory of searches...
10/27/2007 11:23:48 PM
It is the end of a day yet again...
Sweet memories of the one that could have been and the ones that should have been, bu especially of the ones that could very well be, particularly strike my mind at this point in time...

Tomorow is the fetish Ball at Diablo's...

Hope to see some of you there...
10/14/2007 8:56:38 AM
I long for the days of old
When the real truth be told
My mind is a blank
This poem is rank
So I'll stop before I get too old...
LOL!

Sorry, just had to do a little creative flatulence. On another note, Fetish Ball is coming up Oct. 28th, and I have yet to find any prospective dates to said event...*sigh*...Well, perhaps the collarme.com fairygodfather will drop me an email with someone that is worthy of my indulgent company...

R
Goddess2You
 
 Age: 28
 Manchester, United Kingdom