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A guy walks into a bar and notices a very large jar on the counter and sees it's filled to the brim with $10 bills... The man guesses there must be thousands of dollars in it! He approaches the bartender and asks, "What's up with the jar?"
"Well... you pay ten dollars... and IF you pass three tests... you get all the money!!!"
The man certainly isn't going to pass this up! "What are the three tests?"
"Pay FIRST..." says the bartender... "Those are the rules."
So the man give him the $10 and the bartender drops it into the jar...
"OK," the bartender says, "here's what you need to do...
FIRST: You have to drink that ENTIRE GALLON of pepper tequila... the WHOLE thing, all at ONCE... and you CAN'T make a face while doing it...
SECOND: There's a pit bull chained-up out back with a sore tooth... You have to REMOVE the tooth with your BARE HANDS...
THIRD: There's a lesbian woman on her deathbed upstairs who has NEVER reached orgasm during intercourse... You've gotta MAKE THINGS RIGHT for her."
The man is stunned... "I KNOW I paid my 10 bucks. but I'm not an IDIOT! I WON'T DO IT!!! You have to be NUTS to drink a gallon of pepper tequila, and then do those OTHER THINGS!!!"
"Your call," says the bartender, "but your MONEY stays where it is..."
The man has a few drinks... then a few more... Finally...he asks, "WHERRRRE'S ZAAAAT TEQUIIIIIILA?!?!?!"
He grabs the gallon with both hands and downs it with a big slurp... Tears are streaming down both cheeks, but he doesn't make a face...
Next... he staggers out back where the pit bull is chained-up... The people inside the bar hear a HUGE, NOISY SCUFFLE going on outside.. They hear the pit bull barking... the guy screaming... the pit bull yelping ... and then .... SILENCE ...
Just when they think the man SURELY must be dead, he staggers back into the bar ... with his shirt ripped... and large, bloody scratches all over his body...
"NOW........" he says...
"WHERES THE WOMAN WITH THE SORE TOOTH?!?!?!" |
