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| I am here in CS hoping to find my life partner. The man that I seek is tall (at least 5'8" but preferably taller,) is pleasent to the eye, is in decent shape, has formal education, is smart, caring, good hearted, and is ready for a serious relationship. He is warm and affectionate, comfortable taking care of the domestic tasks and loves to cook.
Please keep reading only if you match the d.e.s.c.r.i.p.t.i.o.n above and if you would be willing and able to relocate to the Monterey Bay Area in the near future.
My man:
- knows that he will be happiest in a Female Lead Relationship;
- understands that I am at the center of our relationship;
- makes sacrifices to make me happy;
- subordinates his preferences to mine;
- understands that my guidance is a privilege; and
- accepts my leadership happily and obediently.
The man I seek is motivated to do his best, first and foremost to make me happy. Also, he makes good decisions because he undestants that there will be consequences. If his behavior deviates from my wishes, or if his performance does not meet my expectations, I will have to motivate and guide him.
I am looking for a man that wants to embark into a long term relationship and wants a life partner with whom to establish a family. Therefore, my partner should place a premium on physical closeness and should be willing to relocate to Monterey after we successfully communicate for a few months (~4 to 6 months) and when we both feel we are a good match for one another.
If you move here, you can expect to find a woman that will allow a loving relationship to develop and that will actively promote an environment that is conducive to openness and trust. As we get to know each other, we both should work in building trust between us because our relationship will not work without it.
You must trust me completely, unquestionably, so much so that you can open up to me and not only accept, but embrace, your vulnerability. Similarly, I need to trust you completely, trust your sincerity and your loyalty so that I can successfully embrace my role as the leader and protector of us. The result of our mutual trust will be the most fulfilling relationship; one with a sense of deep intimacy.
I will value your thoughts and feeling and will always consider your perspective and your wellbeing. I will protect you and show you that I love and value you through my words and actions. I will ask your opinion before making important decisions. I will give you my warm affection and will ensure that you have guidance and a sense of security. Similarly, I expect for you to show me your love through words and actions as well, e.g. your willingness to make sacrifices for me; your loving, thoughtful, and considerate actions; your respectful attitud; and your obedient demeanor.
I want a man who, although masculine and with a income-earning job, can relate and behave as if he were a "good wife" from the 1950's. Please don't misconstrue my refence. I am not interested in crossdressing or feminization. I am referring to the sense of duty regarding household responsibilities, and the respectful attitude towards the head of the household (HoH,) consistent with a clear understanding of being in a supportive role. It will be my duty to help you understand your boundaries and keep you in your place.
Consistently with my responsibilities as the HoH, I would be in charge of our financial life. If our relationship grows, and the time comes when we choose to become a family, by then you would know me well enough to know that I am a responsible, serious, reliable and prudent person. If that time comes, you will know that I wouldn't use my power in ways contrary to your wellbeing or your interests. Therefore, if that time ever comes, your money will become our money and I would manage it for us. Understanding and accepting my leadership includes your complete trust in every way, including money.
Obviously, I would ensure that you have access to sufficient money for the household expenses and other needs. Additionally, you would receive a small allowance from me in a consistent bases. Whenever you need or want more money, the only thing you would have to do is ask. Provided that all is well, I would be generous because that is my nature.
Regarding sexuality, if our relationship materializes, I would expect for you to surrender your orgasm authonomy and allow me to keep control. I would decide the frequency of your releases. I am a warm and loving person so you can expect a lot of affection. Still, I might choose to increasing or reducing your access to pleasure as I see fit, to facilitate the proper functioning of our relationship. Sexual denial will be very frecuente and the use of a chastity device, normal.
To help my partner with his behavior I will likely start by communicating verbally.
Occasionally, this verbal approach may not be sufficient. If I see that you need additional help to change your behavior, I will take you over my knee and spank you. To deal with defiance or misbehavior, or more serious offenses, I would have to give you a disciplinary spanking session. With the help of spanking implements I will bring you to tears while speaking to you throughout the process. At the end of the session, I will give you a warm hug to help you calm down, feel reassured and loved. After all, discipline is done out of love and desire for a good relationship.
Whenever I discipline you physically, not only should you take it, but you should thank me at the end of the session. I expect you to kiss my hand lovingly and tell me "thank you ma'am." This will help you remain appreciative of the time and energy that I am investing in helping you modify your behavior. Besides signaling submission, the soft kiss in my hand will reinforce our connection and promote a loving-bond.
I know that the desires that I have expressed and the way I intend to manage my romantic life deviate from the norm. I know that, for many, what I want is wrong. Nevertheless, the relationship dynamic I describe above is what feels right to me and the type that will bring me the most joy.
Contact me if my intentions and expectations match what you want. DO NOT contact me if you want an online relationship or only want superficial fun.
Thanks for reading :-*
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Caged Bird
A free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wing
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.
But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn bright lawn
and he names the sky his own
But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
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It seems relevant to discuss my long journey into the "lifestyle."
Earlier in life I didn't have enough experience and I had no clue of my D/s proclivities which I discovered in time. However, for many years I could not accept (not even to myself) that I had interests that deviated from the mainstream.
There were little experiences here and there that gave me clues, but I dismissed them. My life was fine being "normal" and there was a force, more subconscious at that time, that repressed the D/s feelings. Possibly due to socialization, I had an image of myself as a decent, "normal" , loving, well behaved woman; therefore, certain behavior was just not acceptable. In fact, it was unthinkable.
Then, about 13 years ago, my boyfriend at the time sulprised me one night by bring a S~ for me to wear and use on him. After I put it on, he dropped to his knees, and submissively placed his mouth around "it" while looking up at me as he slided his mouth forward. OMG. I was EXTREMLY shocked about the way I felt. I couldn't believe the degree of empowerment and arrousal I felt! A wave of heat invaded me, I had never felt anything like that before!
Still, I justified my feelings as the pleasurable excitement, the thril one gets when experiencing something new, specially something naughty and taboo. I just could not self-identify as the type of woman that "did that," that couldn't be me!
From then on, I started noticing that I had a strong instinctual reaction and significant excitement when exposed to D/s, for example while watching movies that dealt with submission and control such as "The Piano Teacher" and "Secretary."
Years were passing by. Remember, I was ok with my " normal" life. Still, the latent desire prompted me to read on D/s related subjects and eventually I came across the concept of FLR.
The pieces came together; I did a lot of introspection and it all finally made sense. FLR align well with my essence and my prefences!
When that became clear, I attempted to implement some aspects of D/s and of a FLR with the partner I had at that time. He, unfortunately, turned out to be was wrong man for me. He was to "normal" and macho, so he wouldn't even consider some of my request. Gradually the relationship end. That was a very painful process because I loved him. Still, I wanted to live my life fully and following my true desires.
And that is how I got to be here I am today. I now accept, to myself, that I have an interest in D/s, and want to live an alternative lifestyle in the form of a FLR. Nevertheless, I want to remain in "the closet" and keep this private between my partner and I, behaving vanilla in the company of others.
It has been a long journey, but now I am ready! Are you? |
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