A collar can mean many things to many different people within the Gorean and BDSM communities. It is referred to as the steel or leather which in encircles the girls throat. But what does it truly mean?

By definition the word collar is defined in
Webster's New World Dictionary, page 118
collar - noun -
1.the part of a garment that encircles the neck
2. a band of leather, etc. for an animal's neck.

While a collar has a purpose and place it only serves as an external reminder of the things that are within my heart and who and what i am. It also serves as a reminder of who i belong to. The collar does not create these things or make them happen. The reality of what and who i am is far deeper and greater then the strap of leather or band of silver around my neck. The material in which it is made is only as strong as the bond made between the Master and the slave . A collar has come to mean very little to many online. But its significance is none the less important within the community in which Real Men are served by women.

Online there are many different types of collars represented as well. There are Tavern and Inn collars, a Slavers collar, House collars, Training Hall collars, Restricted girls with either white or red silk collars, plus a variety of others that i may not know of. The fact remains that a collar has come to mean so little to so many people. But what it does represent is the outward binding of the Master/slave relationship. It represents what lies between them, for those to see around them. While i am online at this time with a leather collar it does not mean any less to me then if i was not wearing the leather collar. To me i could be without it and still be collared

To some a collar is just nothing more then a game or a fantasy that is exciting. To yet others it becomes a fairy tale dream. After the collar is, snapped and locked they realize it is not what they thought it was. Its not a game. In the end many collars end up gone, because they realize that they are unable to fulfill there commitment seriously.

It is a symbol much like a wedding band in the commitment i have made to serve a Master and for him to teach and to train me. It is also a symbol of his ownership of my heart my mind my body my soul and me. They all are his. By my taking the collar i am saying that i belong to him fully and will trust in His decisions in my life. By Master giving me a collar says that he is giving His teaching, discipline and taking the great responsibility in me being his.

How do i know when it is right to beg for a Masters steel or collar. There is a burning need within my belly and heart. The happiness when he walks in and orders me to his feet. The commands and observations i wait for each and everyday. The will and ability to serve him to my fullest potential from my heart, body, mind, and soul. It is a long and emotional journey of self discovery when i decide to beg a Masters collar. Because i must look within. Knowing myself and how i feel about life is an integral part of being a slave. Self-confidence and the ability to feel from within is another.

But many other factors play into the role of what I represents to myself and my potential Master. A girl should know her belly. The burning desire and feeling it creates within my body, mind, and soul. That i desire to serve the man in which i wish to beg a collar from as well as each Master that i will come in contact with. For to wear the steel of a Master is a joyful and wondrous thing. i belong to him by the action of having begged his collar and he having agreed to take me as his slave. From that point on I am at his mercy. Each and every time i serve becomes a representation of his Mastery over me. Each action and word i speak reflects upon him.

A slave should remember that a slave serves from within, from there heart, there belly, there mind, there soul, there feelings and emotions. To pretend in serving the one I am are enslaved to is only cheating myself as well as my Master. The wonderful traits of honesty, trust, integrity, intelligence, the burn and the simple fact of being pleasing are the recipe for what a girl should choose herself to be. A slave should also always remember a kajira has two choices. The first of these choices is to beg the collar of the Master who makes you burn. The Second is to the let the collar go. But also remember that all choices and decisions in between these times are those of the Master. This is what makes the difference between a *kajira* and a slave.

While i know my relationship with Master does not depend on the collar it still gives a sense of security and a belonging. i laugh at the dogs i have had in the past when there collars were removed they would try to put there heads back in the collar, now i know how they feel LOL. When i remove it generally just for a shower i feel naked and can’t wait to get it back on my neck.

It is absurd that a man should rule others, who cannot rule himself ~ Latin Proverb

"we are Masters because we have the power to create and to rule our own lives."

In thinking about what to write for this essay I happened to stumble on the above quotes and thought they said it all. Ok I am done now with the essay .....not *just thought I would give you a giggle*

When asked what is the difference of a submissive and a slave... in general a submissive maintains a certain distance from her Master and retains some freedoms and a slave gives her all as well as her freedoms to her Master. A submissive accepts submission a slave accepts obedience. To be a slave you must understand and accept that your value as a slave is based upon your service to your Master and that your pleasure is derived from this service. A slave is required to be open, honest, and accessible to her Master at all times. Honest communication is the cornerstone of a successful Master/slave relationship. Each and every question asked by your Master must be answered fully. For the relationship to last you must accept that you are His property to be trained and used as He determines. You are expected to obey, serve and please your Master. Your success or failure is measured by how well you accomplish this. Both your behavior and attitude measure success. You are owned body, mind, soul and spirit and as such each area is subject to examination and change to better serve and please your Master. Trust of her Master is a big part of a slave being able to completely give all areas of herself to her Master. Trust means: He has the knowledge and skills needed to train her He will keep her safe. He will accept ownership of her and He will structure her service in a way that she feels useful and needed. Once trust has been established a Master can mold His slave to serve, obey and please Him. i believe that a person is a slave due to the inner desire to please from a very young age and that it just has to be brought out in a person to see it fullness. For me the definition of a 24/7 slave does not mean naked and kneeling at all times. In a 24/7 you do your best to serve your Master and portray a positive self-image of yourself to reflect well on you Master. Just remembering the little things through out the day to make sure your Master is happy and comfortable and all His needs have been met is service to Him.

Within the relationship of a Master and submissive the submissive has more say in her limits. Has a few more rights as to how the relationship will go. Within the realms of a Master/sub there is more playtime then there is a real deep meaning full service as a slave. A submissive can be that way to her Master in the bedroom but out in public there is an air of respect but not always a obedience toward her Master. The submissive maintains a amount of control of herself and her well being. There is also may a submissive that does not live with a Master but attends function in which a Master performs a session on her.

In this life there are two kinds of people there is a Master/Dom and a slave/sub. It is the Master/Dom who does the training and decides how the training will be done and what will be learned. The slave/sub is the trainee. A slave accepts any and all that her Master desires her to be in training. A sub may sit with the Dom and let her wants and needs be met during training. With a slave in training a Master can see where the needs are needed and can focus his attention on those needs.

As I am a slave, I am desiring to be trained as such. When a slave knows who she is inside she wants to make herself be the best and make her Master proud and make others desire her for her skills as a good slave. Her true faith and trust lies in that Masters hands to train her to her best abilities. Sometimes that means having to push her and some of the limits she might have. A gentle push in the areas of her limits will help her to see that she can do the things she did not feel that she was able to do when she first came to her Master.

When a slave does wrong or refuses to do something her Master has asked her to can be either the cause of a lack of trust or faith in that Master. Fear can make a slave act out and not be able to focus on her duties as she should. I think that every slave should be punished if she continues to do something she was told to and does not listen. There is such a thing as three strikes and your out philosophy. Where a girl is given three chances with something and if she breaks that rule three times she receives punishment no if about it.

For myself as a slave, the treat of being punished is scary to me. To be yelled at only causes me to draw back into myself and to not want to do the things I am told for fear of doing it wrong and being yelled at again. To be told that if I do anything wrong I will be cropped for it and not have any guide lines in place before that cropping places fears in me. I don’t think a slave who is trained by fear is really in service to her Master because she wants to but for out of fear she does what she has to so as to not be punished or yelled at.

I need a Master who can be firm, yet gentle, who will teach and not yell, who will punish not beat me, who can see where I need the growth as a slave not put me down as a poor slave, one who can use a slave properly as a slave should be. In other words I am not a door matt to be walked on harshly but a floor rug to be used and comforted and taken care of as I learn my Masters ways and desires for me to be for him. I am a slave, I am human, and I have feelings as well.