lysawinterhawk on Collarspace


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	SgtFirth



	Some updates done 2/1/16 ? Apparently I should preface my profile with this... I am NOT here for financial domination. I have no issue with those who sell or offer such, but I am not of there number. When I originally joined, my ultimate hope from being on this site is to find somebody for a 24/7 D/s or M/s situation. I don't know that this is?entirely the case anymore, though I won't reject if should I find the perfect match. No matter what though, I do want a true Relationship, something deep and lasting.?I have no expectation of this happening overnight- and I wouldn?t trust it if it did. I have some experience, though I?m still learning. When it comes to the mental and emotional side of D/s I fell entirely confidant. I see myself as a natural dominant (yes I know, most people say this), when I look back at my vanilla relationships over the years there is a definite trend with me being the dominant partner. It?s is the kink/play side where I feel my skills are the most lacking, I?m not a complete novice mind, I am just aware that there is a Lot to learn (best to admit that rather than pretend & then fail at something- that would kinda break all parts of SCC or RACK). I'm a combination of nature lover and computer/gamer geek. I'm entirely happy in my garden, taking a hike (more leisurely nature-stroll w/ camera in hand) around the local waterfalls, or simply watching wildlife out my windows. But I'm equally happy pouring myself into a computer game and smashing my opponents (great for stressful days) or immersing myself in my favorite book. And I must admit, I have the guilty pleasure each year of watching Tons of those really horrible Christmas movies (pagan and I Still love Christmas). ? A little on what I want? I want a special creature. Somebody who could never be called a ?mere? anything. I want somebody who could first be friend and only after that be lover, beloved and sub. I want to be able to talk about our days, curl up and watch TV, or cook dinner together- Heck I should be able to take care of them when they are sick- all w/o ever placing any question on the D/s side of our relationship. (If you must view this from that side- I take care of my car so why in the World would't I take care of my sub?) ? It is worth mentioning, since it will change the expected dynamic- I am married, closed poly (we don?t date w/o the other knowing specifics AND approving). We?ve been together for nearly 12 years now (married almost 8). My wife is trans (MtF in case Wife did't give that away). This is important since at the Very least, anybody who is mine would need to be able to be friends with her (and live-in would need to love her too). ? If you do write me, please, for the love of whatever god you like, be able to converse. There are few things more attractive to me than an intelligent and engaged partner. Any one-liner messages are likely to be taken as flattery (you did take the time to message, right?) but they won?t get a reply. Ask me anything you want to know, talk to me about your day at work. I don't care just engage in a discussion.

5/7/2017 10:00:59 PM

I'll be moving up to the Seattle area in the next couple months. Since I rather Need a connection, that gives a bit of time to get to know each other

10/16/2016 10:25:20 PM

Found out what it takes to turn me into a Bitch-Domme: Other "doms"; not the real ones mind, Those people I rather enjoy chatting with. But the posers who have No idea what it actually means to be a Dominant, let alone what it takes to be one.

Is it bad that I find these creatures more pathetic than any submissive begging a stranger (me) for something? (I would like to specify, I don't consider it 'pathetic' in the least for a sub to ask their Dom for anything, but begging a stranger..,. a little bit)

7/2/2016 7:49:53 PM

Apparently, I need to add something to my profile... A step beyond what Thumper's mama told him- If you don't have anything useful to say, don't say anything at all- or at least, not to me.

Don't agree with something I wrote?
I don't care

Don't like the way I look?
I don't care

I am not going to change my thoughts or appearance based on a random message from somebody who means nothing to me.

Great way to bring out my bitch side, but... probably not going to bother expressing it to you (so no gratification to SAMs).

Basically, If you don't like Anything about me, anything at all... Click that little "Hide" button, and move on with your life.

2/18/2016 9:55:07 PM

Lucky Sluts.... I suppose I should preface this by saying I don't consider "slut" to be a derogatory term for either men or women. More so, I see sluts as somebody who is in touch with their sexuality, and is entirely willing to indulge their desires. I am entirely aware of my desires, and goodness knows I have my fair share. However, when it comes to indulging in these desires I run into a problem. I am demisexual. Until recently I'd never heard this term, and had to look it up the first time I came across it. The first entry I found was from demisexuality.org "Demisexuality is a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond."reading this was a light bulb moment for me. I'd never understood people fantasizing about celebrities, it was just foreign to me. Likewise the concept of having sex with somebody you hate because of the passion there making it spectacular. The idea has always been repugnant to me. After seeing this term I gained a better understanding of everybody else, mostly by seeing that I Am different. Which brings me back to sluts. I crave touch and passion. Romantic love making and primal fuckings both male Mt knees weak. I adore every side and angle of bondage, a sub kneeling before me makes my heart flutter, and the mere idea of them begging for my attentions makes me wet. But that's the Thought of such. For the reality to exist in any way, I need a true partner. All levels of play require that I not only Trust the person, but have an emotional connecting to them. And that rather limits my exploits. I would love to be able to hook up worth somebody. See that they are attractive, learn we have similar desires, and head out for some fun. But do I? Nope. Instead I spend time talking online, then meet, and date... and after several dates (seriously like 4-5+), if there is something there Then I can move towards the carnal pleasures. A Beautiful sub (boy or girl) could be naked and kneeling in front of me- begging for me to touch them.... and I'll wrap them up in a robe, sit them on the couch, and chat about anything and nothing so I can get to know them. There are days where I really do envy sluts.

2/10/2016 3:45:53 PM

Well That was entertaining.

I was just accused of pretending to be female & then blocked.
Kinda amusing, since my profile states my wife is MtF trans (and were married before she transitioned - thus, our marriage was grandfathered in by the government). Let alone that whole same-sex marriage thing that went National last year.

Apparently a girl who's saying she is a lesbian doesn't believe that a) girls can marry girls or b) bi/pan girls (that would be me) may be married to another girl.

8/7/2014 9:55:36 PM

I finally got to throw my first flogger. Turning her skin into a lovely shade of pink. The air crackling with energy. Amazing. What a wonderful gift for my birthday.

7/12/2014 2:02:15 PM

I want romance. I want a girl who turns to me like a flower turns to the sun. I want to love her in the good times and hold her in the bad. I want to push her to break her walls down and be the best that she can. Not the best for Me, or the 'best slave' but the best version of herself.

2/23/2014 8:36:04 PM

Irene Adler: I would have you, right here, on this desk, until you begged for mercy twice.

Sherlock Holmes: ...I've never begged for mercy in my life.

Irene Adler: Twice.

I Adore this episode.

12/31/2013 8:56:12 PM

My most basic rules for my sub (where ever she is).....

1) Needs will always be met. Nothing can ever change this.

Needs include: Food, Water, Safe place to sleep. Medications.

2) Creature Comforts may be considered a given as long as behavior is generally good.

Creature Comforts include: Choice on your Needs- Food preference. Sleeping in the bed/with a pillow. Etc.

3) Wants must be earned. From the small to the large. Good behavior or special/extra things are required for things that are wants.

Wants are easy, anything from your favorite cookies to a new car.

11/23/2013 11:01:15 PM

I want somebody who's heart jumps when she reads my profile.

I want the only thought in her mind to be 'Yes! Please yes".

I want her to anxiously wait my reply- checking her inbox often 'just in case' CM didn't email her this time.

I do not want to try and erase everything that she is, thus what I am should call out to her.

11/21/2013 10:23:58 PM

I think I may have been watching Spartacus too much since I've started contemplating the title of Domina over alternate options.

9/6/2013 9:10:14 PM

The Gamers : Hands of Fate ftw!!! Yes, I know, my geek is showing.

9/2/2013 12:47:15 AM

I realize how much I want this, not when seeing the beauty it has to offer. But when I see the stress and drama and I still go to sleep longing.

9/1/2013 12:08:20 AM

The heart of a Dominant must be open. Not to the world (Nobody can handle that), but to their sub.

To ask one to trust You in all things they must Know Your heart. Know with every fiber of their being that You will Never harm them. That all Your decisions have their best interest in mind. How else can they put aside their dislike of something, their fears, and follow You?

When a Dominant decides they must hide themselves they are losing all that a D/s relationship is about.

We must trust in our submissives as we ask them to trust in Us.

8/7/2013 2:37:08 PM

Celebrating my 30th birthday today. Rather proud of all that was accomplished in the past decade, job, marriage, house, car... All things as they are suppose to be. Hopefully it won't take another decade to find the submissive who matches me. :)

5/8/2013 11:04:52 PM

Ladies, if something on my profile caught your eye please do shoot me a message. I don't find our presumptive or " insubordinate" or anything silly like that. Like my profile says, I appreciate a girl with a personality, so saying "hi" can be a great start.

4/6/2013 5:50:11 PM

I'm starting to realize how much certain terms instantly make me lose interest. Self-degradation.... I take pride in my property. Be it my watch, my car, my house or my sub. Anybody who spends their profile taking about how pathetic/horrible/etc they are is not one who is likely to walk with pride once my collar is on their neck. Slut/whore/no limits.... I'll pass thank you all the same. One who would give themselves entirely to Me is neither slut or whore for such. A slut gives themselves to all, I do not want that risk to my health- physical or mental. A whore charges for their services- I want the emotional connection, not a professional. Ah and no limits.... I can understand trusting One Person enough to have no limits with them... Not because there is not things you would not do, but because they know you well enough to know where and when to push you, and you have the trust built up so that you can trust them fully. But to offer this up to strangers. Again, I'll pass.

11/17/2012 8:22:31 PM

Lately I have been having images of rope work dancing in my head. I don't want to rush my search for my girl, but I don't know that I'd find a random rope-bottom enough to satisfy my urges.

I suppose I could take my gf up on the offer to use one of her girls to try out some of my knotting techniques. It wouldn't be the same though. There are limitations with them (imposed on my side, not theirs) that I wouldn't have with a girl of my own.

Also there is the risk that comes their crushes on me (yes they both have one, this is well known). The older slave I think it wouldn't be as much of an issue with, but she isn't entirely comfortable w/ anybody but her Master & Mistress playing with her (and she is still working on finding the balance w/ her Mistress). I have aided in the after care of the younger slave, and she is More than willing to let me practice on her. But she is still finding her place with her Master & Mistress. And I really don't want to cause any "grass is greener" issues. Because while she is yummy I would Not put up with some of her day-to-day games as well as her Mistress/Master do.

So I have a conundrum- Do I look for a rope-bottom to play with (but not get all I want), do I work on one of her girls (and get closer to what I want, but with risks), or do I continue to wait for My girl. *sigh*

8/15/2012 10:35:17 AM

I believe I have?figured?out what I want. A Unicorn? Pffft. No. They are far to common for me.? Apparently what I want is what happens when the offspring of a zombie-unicorn and a virgin-pegasus?mates with the offspring of a?mummified-dragon & an already-pregnant-merman... Yeah, I'm screwed. Last night I spent some time in a self-contemplation?mode. Some time trying to figure out the answer to a question I have been asked a lot recently- Why I want a sub/slave, and the rest trying to understand me better. I've answered before that I love the idea of helping shaping somebody, fixing them, molding them to be the best Them that they can be... And this is true, but it never felt like a complete answer. The part that I?figured?out last night is far more selfish. I have very high, exacting standards. While I do not hold all others to these, they still cause me grief in dealing w/ nearly everybody. The idea of somebody who gets their satisfaction in making me happy and thus would do everything in their power to meet My standards... ?To have somebody who reflects my?disappointment, and cares enough to try and do better the next time. Somebody who doesn't automatically spout the "little white lies" they think I want to hear, "I'm fine.", "Yes dear, I will tonight.", "Absolutely, I've done it already.", "I'll be there in an hour.". Somebody who would think of me before planning or doing anything that effects me...It's intoxicating and worth any?expenditure?on my part to have.? As to me... I really don't know yet there. Even looking at what other people see me as doesn't help much since it differs greatly depending on who is seeing me. No matter how I think about it no part of my mind is able to accept the idea of submitting to somebody. No matter how well outlined my limits would be I can't wrap my mind around the idea of not having it be my choice... on everything. I cannot picture myself being able to accept somebody else's word as final. It just doesn't work with me at all. Its not something I see as wrong, just wrong for me. I've been told by a Dom that I respect that I have submissive qualities, and am a learned Dom, rather than a natural. The latter I accept fully- I am what is needed, and no pack of wolves can survive w/o an Alpha, nor can any collections of humans. If there is none who steps up to the position it must be filled for order to exist, so I am there. The former, I still struggle with a bit. Not that I disagree on having the qualities at all, more that I am not sure they are what make a submissive... or maybe they do, but that I lack one quality to throw me into being a true submissive? The quality I refer to here is?receiving?gratification in others pleasure. Both in and out of the bedroom I find this true. I want people around me to be happy- it makes me happier. If they are not then I want to do what I can to make them so, or at least make them feel better. In the bedroom I find little more appealing then making the other person want Me, by bringing them pleasure, by teasing, whatever. If they want Me then I am quite content. Part of all of this (in and out) is control- I like knowing that I can shape/mold part of somebodies life- if only their moment of enjoyment. The other part, I don't know... And I'm still not sure how much it matters. Whatever I am, I'm me. I won't harm anybody for any reason. So I suppose I shall continue my rarest-of-rare creature hunts & see if I can find one to be mine.?