I decided to write this after some experiences, deep thinking, and planning. While I am interested in the bdsm lifestyle and d/s relationships, I cannot actively follow or delve into them 24/7. I cannot be somebody’s live in slave, I cannot divulge into sexual acts or fantasies very often. Sometimes I just want to sit down or lie back and thinks, read, or do something that will inspire or grab my attention if only for a few seconds. While I am more than willing to serve somebody I cannot be in that mental mindset for a long period of time, I cannot ask for permission every time I do something, and I cannot be treated as nothing but a slave, because sometimes I just want to relax, talk, have fun, be friends, etc. I have found that the only interest I have in the bdsm community and lifestyle is only short term or to play around. Most of the relationships I have been in immediately either plan to do something sexual or plan for me to move in when I can. I understand that these are often goals, but most of the time it’s planned on the first day we talk. I’m not one to go fast in a relationship, I just want to take it slow, get comfortable, take in interest in your likes as you take an interest in mine, talk, and be friends. Sometimes I wonder if I am even in the right place to begin with. I will still be involved in the acts and lifestyle, just not to the extent that most people are looking for.