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| Things change and we must adapt... looking for a play friend.....
Like all who begin here I will fill out more as time goes on. This is my world of discovery and I desire someone that will join me on this journey. Yes join me as my equal with an open mind. Outrageous one would say but not once you get to know me and I you. Communication, respect, trust... all a two way street. Yes it is about the physical, the emotional, the seen and unseen. To form a bond together, to explore together in safety always... can we do this. Don't judge me. I will not judge you. Let us find that common ground and build from there, just like any other relationship. Yes we will disagree but that to is ok. I can respect that, can you? We long to fill that empty spot within us, I am no different. I long to share who I am without judgement and be accepted, to have the special someone reach her hand into my chest, take my heart and keep it safe, just as I reach in to yours and keep it safe as well. Have I said to much? Have I touched you with my words? Do you feel the same as I? Do you seek the same things? It is only a beginning. Time left here is short. Let us live, and dream. I have started my list but one should talk about and never assume. There are always areas for growth if one is willing ant that also is a two was street. A give and take as it should be. Always feel free to write me if you want to know more. Ask anything and I will reply honestly.
Tell me what you see in my profile picture. It will tell me a lot about you and reveal something about me at the same time. What detail in the picture do you see?
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Well I found a play partner that can play, loves to play, can play during the weekday during the day and she's bi.... what a find. We would love to find a bi-female play partner to spice things up even more.... We would meet for lunch first and only lunch to get acquainted... life is good..... |
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Want to follow me and my dark lustful thought? My blog is on tumblr. Life is fun and to short.... a picture is worth a thousand words... http://mydarklustfulthoughts.tumblr.com/
Capture the mind and the body will follow. It's all about pleasure and it can come in so many different ways and is different for everyone. The trick is finding someone close to yours and then sharing and exploring them but being open to try new things together. |
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Real Doms vs. Women Abusers
There seems to be some widespread misconceptions or confusion about the true nature of the relationship between a Dominant and a submissive. I am writing this article so novice subs have a way of discerning the abusive posers from the legitimate Doms so they can hopefully avoid any scary experiences or injury, especially when first experimenting in BDSM.
Based on several disturbing emails I have received from various women on , there seems to be many, many men online who call themselves “Doms” but really they only want to physically/emotionally abuse women and then sexually use them in name of “Domination”. This is NOT the true nature of a Dom/sub relationship AT ALL.
There is a huge difference between being domineering (controlling/bullying) and being dominant (self-confident). In fact, controlling/manipulating/bullying personalities are the opposite of self-confident personalities. A dominant personality should make you feel at ease with their calm leadership, knowledge and their interest in your needs whereas a bullying/manipulating personality will likely make you feel slightly uncomfortable with their pressure about meeting their needs. Dominants are NOT angry women haters but controlling bullies are! So, listen and trust to the little voice inside your head.
Immense trust is the foundation of a D/s relationship. A Dom/sub relationship requires much more trust than any vanilla sexual relationship because a woman is putting her physical/mental safety in the hands of a man. Hence the emotional intimacy of a D/s relationship is also much more deep and intense as well. A real Dom cherishes and loves his sub for “Her Gift” of submission. Through great faith and trust in a Dom, a submissive gives over full control over her body and mind to a Dom… A real Dom does not seize or coerce that submission. It is a decision of free will that a sub chooses who she will hand over control for a period of time (play session or evening). After that time period is over, you both revert to roles of equals.
The role of a Dom is like a sexual coach who can take you to a place you can not reach by yourself by pushing you beyond your limits safely. A true Dom takes the time to build that trust & rapport with a sub by understanding her sexual interests, past experiences, fears/concerns, kinks/fetishes and limits. There are actual fetish checklists available online that some Doms use to make a written record for themselves of a sub’s likes/dislikes, interests, limits and future curiousities as a starting point for training, like a personal trainer would make notes of your physical fitness benchmarks and goals. Before any play session starts, a good Dom with establish a unique “safe word” to ensure a sub’s safety during a session. Then he takes great care to ensure her physical and emotional safety during a session while still pushing her limits and attempting to blow her mind. And afterwards, he shows her a great deal of appreciation and affection for her immense trust and for her gift of submission through sensual “aftercare” to soothe her body and mind (For example: cleaning her body with a warm toilet, a soothing bubble bath, washing her hair or a warm oil massage).
- HINT #1: If a Dom demands you to call him Sir or Master at a first meeting, he may be a poser (or very formal/rigid)! The first meeting should be a meeting of equals who are trying to determine if there is a common foundation of interest, fit and chemistry to pursue a potential D/s relationship. ONLY after a sub has chosen to give her self to a Dom must she refer to him as Sir or Master. First meetings are ALWAYS in a public location and no play or sex is involved. It is purely an initial meeting to assess mutual compatability.
- HINT #2: If a Dom does NOT discuss your past experience, limits, concerns or safe words, he is likely a poser. One of the most important aspects of being a Dom is ensuring a sub’s safety during a session. If he is not discussing your limits, he is not concerned with your safety!
- HINT #3: If a Dom demands you do sexual acts which is either dangerous to your heath (i.e. unprotected sex) or against your will (i.e. rape/assault), he is likely a poser. All BDSM play is safe, sane and consensual with pre-defined limits.
- Hint #4: If a Dom says there are a set rules that you must ALWAYS obey (i.e. at work, etc.), he is likely a poser. The role of submissive is most-often a temporary state a woman chooses to take on for a play session or an evening or set time period. After that period is over, you revert to roles of equals. However, there are many women who develop deep emotional connections and great emotional satisfaction from serving their Doms over a long period of time together who ask their Doms to be “owned” who then become permanent submissives or “slaves”. This often may coincide with a real world marriage. The Dom must decide if he wants to take on the 24/7 burden of responsibility for a slave and become her permanent Dom or “Master”. A Master can then enforce a wide set of behaviourial and situational rules she must follow in public and private outlined in a negotiated “slave contract” (For example: She must be naked in the house always, cannot wear panties in public, must greet him every evening naked on her knees wearing a collar, must greet him at night in the doggie position with her head down and ass up, must perform oral sex on his friends while they watch football games, etc). Slaves will often wear discrete jewellery in public to denote their role as slaves such slave anklet or slave bracelet. There are also online slave registrations whereby the ownership of the slave to a Master is registered online and a unique slave registration number and slave registration certificate is provided. Slaves are often tatooed with their registration number or branded with their Master’s symbol discretely to denoted their permanent ownership.
An experienced Dom will also have references of the subs he has trained in the past. Ask for the contact information of a few of his former subs. References are an important way of determining if there is a good fit for you with this Dom based on the kind of sessions he has conducted with his former subs and how he made his subs feel about their experience. Validation of a Dom by other subs is critical ensuring your own safety.
You now have a few ways to discern the difference between a real Dom and the fake women abusers. I hope this helps. |
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Where are you? I know you are out there looking as I am looking. Feel the longing that is within me. The desire to be accepted for who we are. Not changed. Just as a limb is grafted into it's host, the change that happens is a natural thing as they grow together. |
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| Age: 30 |
| BEREKUM,
Colorado |
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