Collarspace.com

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Friends:
USAKingKongRoguekittyboi

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Here but and trying to get more active

Note I am more than willing to talk to anyone and everyone, even if all I am looking for is friends - I am listed as a switch due to how I am and because of what I have discovered with the help of those around me - I am at most times a hard person to get a long with because I do not put up with drama or crap in my life.



I have discovered that I am a little and with little things here and there staring me in the face, and how I react to things, it became clear such as the fact that I sleep snuggled up to a stuffed animal, and I like to hide away with my coloring books.



I am not fully active, but am attempting to reply to messages as I can. I am giving fair warning, my messages may be slow or non- existent, due to RL issues. That includes, work, family and whatever else pops up.



I will not accept friend requests without having a conversation with that person - This is how I am, like it or not, I will not change for someone other than myself.



I am 30, almost 31 years old, and in an open and poly relationship with my genderfluid fiancee we have been together for almost 2 years come April 1st, and engaged for almost a year come May. I also have 2 boyfriends. All relationships are non sexual. I am only seeking conversations and friends.



According to the 3 years spent at the guiding hand of My former Sir, he and his sub and one of his former subs (of which I have known one of them close to 10 years) have ined me that I am indeed of a switch like nature. I will not bow down to every man or woman who feels they are a dominant. The only Dominant man I have ever shown any submissive tendicies to is to the man I refer to as my Daddy of which I do not have such a person at the moment though I do have a mentor.



I am still not into learning anything (never online, and very rarely in person) until I can get everything in order in my life and mind.



I personally come from a vanilla and christian household, and as such, my interests have been hidden from my family, though they are usually clear here. I will not put much about what I personally believe in on here, though I am willing to discuss it should anyone feel the desire to ask about it. I am open to most questions, though I do, as always, reserve the right to decline answering questions.



I originally joined CM, because one of my closest friends is on here, and to see what it was about and as such, I decided that I would see if I could find new friends on here. I am only seeking friends at the moment, and that is not going to change because my platter is full at the moment.



Oh, before anyone asks, I am a Panromantic woman who is a Gray-Ace as well as Polyamorous and Sapiosexual. If you want to know what that means, then by all means feel free to message me.



If one were to ask my friends who are part of the life about me, they would probably say that it would depend on who I was around and on my trust level with that person.

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5/10/2015 1:29:57 AM
Growth and changes - both things that are healthy and need to happen. I have grown and changed in the 4 years I have been friends with a close Dom. In that time he taught me how to be true to myself and allowed me to express the fact that I am a baby girl, I desire to be cherished and sheltered and all that sappy stuff, but at the same time I am a fierce bitch and a brat that won't take crap from anyone. He understood and respected that and he learned how to defuse my moods if necessary.
Now my boyfriend also respects that but him and I are still learning what makes eachother tick. he has not yet seen my bitchy side or even my bratty side, but he told me once that no matter what side I show him, as long as there is honesty, trust, respect and consent, he will love me, and that made me melt.
Him and I do both love and like other people and while we may consider taking other partners at a later time, right now, he and I are just for us.
I have grown, and changed - some for the better, and some for the worst, but it's all part of me.

4/14/2015 12:30:50 AM
In everything i do there is a choice - As of now my choices have all left me wondering what the fuck did I do to deserve this? That is my own fault I guess, I try so hard to please everyone else around me by trying to be something I am not, someone I am not... And in the end I lose myself. What does it take to realize that you are losing yourself to all the drama and other stuff in your life? Well for me, it took realizing the fact that my brother is starting a family of his own, and I... well I can't seem to hold onto a man to save my life.
No, wait, that isn't entirely true, as I do have a man who wants to be with me, but due to issues in both our lives, we can't be together yet. I also have a Dom that is trying to convince me to come see him (and has for 4 years now), but due to my work schedule and having no time off left until after June, I can't go see him, and explore anything. I do have some people in my life, in my state that could help me, if I could let go long enough.
I suppose what I need to do, is take charge of my life, oh wait, I tried that, and failed. But I guess I have to keep trying.
One day at a time is my motto right now, but that one day hurts when I can't even achieve a simple goal to lose a bit of weight that I gained from my underactive thyroid (not that it affects me adversely, besides my moods)

4/12/2014 1:44:33 AM

What's on my mind? That's a tricky question... Not one I am sure I should answer as my mind is a web - but will if people want to message me and ask personally, but ask nicely, I don't do demands.

My mind is constantly going over speed, but even then I begin wondering what is it I am truly seeking - Yes I have doubts about my Daddy, but what relationship doesn't have them when there is distance involved?

I am very much a switch - I spend so much time in my life 'being in control' that it's my default. I want someone who will 'baby me' but not treat me like a doormat, because that will flip the switch right away, and I will fight them full force - My best friend who is a sub to my daddy, has seen me in my two head spaces, and she knows some things will set me off more than others. If I am firmly in my 'cuddle me' and 'baby me' head space - then I am much like a child, and will more than likely start crying. But if I am barely in that head space, insulting me makes the Alpha female come out in full force.

I am a complex female, I know this, my friends know this, everyone in my life knows this - but this is me, I am me, and I will never change for anyone - because if you can't take me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.


3/24/2014 7:18:53 PM

Well things have finally begun to turn around for me. I have finally found a full time job, and it's one that will pay rather well. I have not yet started it, but I should here soon. In addition to that, I have begun living out in my apartment again (due to the cold bitter winter I was unable to do so). I think that's it for that part of my personal life.

 

As for the people I know, I have met someone who is proving to be a very good friend, and I met them from this site. Not only do I have them in my life now, I have my other friends from my real life and other sites.

 

I believe that is all that is new in my life, besides the common desire to have a place of residence closer to my job and of course to get a new tattoo and more piercings.

 


2/24/2014 9:13:47 PM

Well, What can I say today? Perhaps I should start with, I am tired of 'Doms' that feel just because I am listed as a switch, and do not have myself listed as being owned, that I am obligated to do whatever they try to order me to do - well news flash for all those 'Doms' that try that: I am my own person, I will not bow to just anyone, My Daddy has earned my trust in the past 3-4 years him and I have been talking and discussing things. Also, I do not take subs or slaves for my own, as I am still learning my way in life with Daddy and his subs.

 In regards to my Daddy, I am his Babygirl, his little one. I may not have a collar, but I have found that one does not need such a device to know when she belongs to another. He is the only Dom I will submit to. Yes Daddy has given me tests, and I usually pass them, sometimes I don't which isn't necessarily good for me, as Daddy has found ways to punish me.

 As for me being a switch - Yes Daddy has given me permission to use that term, as I only submit to him and everyone else can kiss my ass, and just back off. Daddy knows all about what I choose to do online, as I keep no secrets from him. He is my beloved Daddy, and he protects me when I need it, but he has also helped me grow into the Babygirl I am today, even if I am only that person with him.

 So, I guess that's all I have to say today - and I don't write this for anyone else but myself, as this is an outlet for me.


8/16/2013 8:04:17 PM

Every one has their preferences, I think everyone realizes this.

For example, the Sir I have been speaking to for the past 3 years, prefers to be referred to as Sir, Daddy, or Master depending on the situation. I call him Sir when I speak about him most days, but on days when I am feeling very... baby girl-ish (hence the nickname he gave me of Little One, or Babygirl, which depends on the moods) I will refer to him as Daddy, and he of course is okay with that.  Then you have the other two subs that are with Daddy as well, and they have their names that I know them by, and then there is me - I myself, have my real name, which I don't give out online, and Daddy only uses it when he's mad/upset with me, which is very rare. Otherwise I prefer to be called by online names, which I am willing to give out to anyone. As for the names that Daddy, and his other subs call me, I will not respond kindly to being called them by anyone else, because as I see it, Daddy, and his subs, have had time to earn my trust (through talking and honest communication, plus I text them every day - no that does not mean I will give my number out to just any dom who demands it... Daddy didn't get it until Kitty, Daddy's second sub, could vouch for him and i've known Kitty for 8-9 years now online and via phone).

Also, Daddy knows my quirks and issues cause most of them stem from me being raised as an only child like he was. His wife and his second sub (Henceforth referred to as Princess and Kitty respectivly as I learned what they were referred as outside of their real names) both have siblings, so It was Daddy who understood my need and quirky desire to... stake a claim on what is mine as mine, and If I don't like the people i'm sharing with, I won't share.

I guess this is more of my mind set and what my thoughts are on different things, and even though I have not met Daddy nor formed an official agreement with him about anything, it just feels right to call him Daddy, and to this date, he is the ONLY man who has every made me desire to submit, any other man who tries to pull the same stuff Daddy has, makes me just even more grateful for the females I love and for my potential girlfriend that will be moving to my location in a few years (and yes I know her in person)


7/23/2013 4:19:26 PM

So, my job issue is a bit iffy at the moment, but I am glad to say that my temp service found me another assignment for now.

I met one of my best friends, a submissive, through an online site years ago and through her I met her Sir, and as such:

I have been talking with with a Sir for quite some years now and I met him through one of his other submissive's and I would consider him one of my best friends now, and so after a few more paychecks I plan on flying down to where him and his subs live, and meeting them all in person for the first time.

This will be exciting for me, and so I hope nothing will stop it, because I want to see if I really do fit into their family as his babygirl, and third submissive and see if being a part of their family is what I truly desire.?

Time will tell and I will keep things updated hopefully, this journal will keep my journey, illuminated for others to see as well.


6/16/2013 8:33:18 PM

Disappointing those that you respect is never a good thing, but as long as you keep on respecting them and they continue to respect you, then it is fine in my opinion. 

While I am listed as a switch in my profile, I do have friends in the lifestyle that would describe me as such, but that is neither here nor there. Well one of my closest friends is a sub, and I have known her for 6-7 years now, and she has been friends with her Dom since they were children, and due to my interest in the lifestyle, she introduced me to her Dom.

Mind you, all introductions were done via the phone, and I have never met these people in person, but they have still earned my deepest respect, and he is the only one I have felt the desire to submit to, but then again, that is also neither here nor there.

The Dom, who from here on out will be referred as Sir, not by his request, but by my own decision, due to him and I having earned each other's respect.

Well, Sir and I have been talking for the past 2 years and he has mentioned to me before in other conversations that we had about my skin tone, that he would prefer me to wear sunscreen if I would be in the sun for longer than 2 hours. Well, I forgot to wear sunscreen today when I went on a 4-5 hour motorcycle ride with my father (the man who raised me) and I ended up toasted (just this side of pink and not totally burnt)

Well Sir's response to the sun-burnt picture i texted him was "Dammit girl what did you do?" and when I explained what I did he replied with "Bad girl" and it made me pout because he was disappointed in me because I forgot what we had discussed before, but he gets over his disappointment with me rather quickly, because him and I talk every day at least once.


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shiela
 
 Age: 25
 London, United Kingdom