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Hi! I'm a middle aged woman who is still looking. Sometimes I'm not sure if I'll ever find what I'm looking for. I'm not sure it's out there. But at least I know what I want, so I'll know if I find it. I'm 5'5" and a bit dumpy. I love my body, and I'm clean and disease free. I'm looking for someone somewhere from 5'7" to whatever in height and average to dumpy like me in weight (extremes at either end aren't my preferred type). I love brown eyes and brown or black hair, but I'm not actually all that picky on eye color, hair color, skin color. I've learned over time that even when you aren't initially attracted to someone, a mental and intellectual connection can lead to physical desire.
I've spent a lot of time trying to make do with what's on offer, and it's time for me to actually look for what I want. Is it so wrong to want someone's actions to match their words?
Example:
- If you want something in particular, and say so over and over, don't say no when it's offered, every time it is offered, and then gripe you never get it.
- If there's something you don't like, speak up, don't stew in silence.
- Your words should match your actions. If you say it, mean it.
I'm looking for someone who knows how to love himself as well as someone else. Preferably a switch, but I'll take a good look at submissives or doms, especially if they're flexible. I have days that I'm distinctly one or the other, but it can vary throughout the day. I come across as domineering even in sub mode sometimes, because life doesn't stop because you're feeling submissive, and even then I don't want to be a doormat.
I want someone to talk to, be intimate with on an intellectual level. Someone who can play with words, appreciate sarcasm and innuendo, and is vocal about his needs. I like to read. Actually, I LOVE to read. I spend way too much time reading. I like the internet. Random research is something I find myself doing far too often. I'm a font of disconnected random facts and information on a wide variety of subjects. Trivia contests are fun. Word play, puns, board games, sudoku, 2048, single-player RPG games, The Sims, Banished, tabletop rpgs on rare occasions, cooking, baking, etc. are all things I am interested in. I want people around me who can teach me things, or at least let me watch you do or say something cool.
Someone who knows how to take a gentle handful of hair and tighten your fist until there is a slow burn that tingles for hours instead of a sharp jerk or yanking. I'll do the same for you, if that's something you're into.
Someone who knows how to push to the point of pain, but not over. I don't generally like to give pain, but I might push myself for the right person.
Slow, hard bites that feel intense instead of sharp distracting nips. I'm into intensity, not actual pain, with a few exceptions and situational caveats.
Passionate kisses, and I don't just mean on the mouth. The entire body is an erogenous zone if done right.
Someone who can say what they want, and if I acquiesce, go after it. I gave you my permission, so what are you waiting for?
Hard and fast, rough and slow, lazy and sensual, I want a physical being in touch with himself. Restraint without physical ropes, domination without barking orders, aggression without abuse, submission without loss of personality. I want someone who knows how to touch himself and likes it. Who wants to touch and be touched. Who wants to savour me like I'd savour him. Who plays with words, and makes at least enough noise to tell me when he likes something. Who'll push me against a wall.
Someone clean and disease free. No poxes, no forgetting to bathe.
Someone who likes grownups. I object to looking like a prepubescent girl, so I'm not going bald for anyone. I think it's creepy, which is probably nowhere in the minds of people who like it, but my gut reaction can't be denied.
I've spent the last 24 years in unfulfilling situations, letting partners talk a big game and never follow through. I've been hurt by neglect and abuse, and it's only recently after 6 years my libido is actually awake from the last time. I believe in forever, but I don't necessarily think I'll find it. I'm looking for someone honest who wants more than a bedroom friend.
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