Confessional: toy is an anal slut. Next to nothing gets toy as soaking wet as Sir’s big hard cock forcing its way into toy’s tight hole, stretching and filling, pressing the back of toy’s g-spot until it is a cummy, gushy, soppy wet mess. It wasn’t always that way though. 

Toy had done anal in years past, but at the time it met Sir, toy’s hole had been virtually resealed for 6 years plus after a long hiatus from bdsm. Toy wasn’t necessarily against it, ya know, toy always wanted to be a perfect fucktoy, but toy had quite a bit of trepidation when Sir and toy first discussed ass play. 

Believe it or not in this day and age, Sir refused to send toy a standard dick pic before our first session. (Yeah, he’s old) When we played for the first time, Sir put a blindfold on it before unzipping his pants,  pushing toy towards anxiety that it was about to feel a tiny little worm creeping around its nether region, because why else wouldn’t He let toy see? Instead, toy felt a monster forced between its lips and soon felt its mouth filled with heavenly, thick hard cock. Toy was happily surprised (Sir calls toy a size queen, but toy keeps telling Him its a princess) but immediately started worrying about its poor little puckered asshole. We had discussed extensively beforehand that anal was on the table but that was when toy was expecting something small and manageable; there was no way His large appendage was going to fit in toy’s unused ass. Luckily, Sir is a wise man that knew His cock head breaking toy’s ass would send it running for the hills, so He used toy’s cunt and mouth instead and sent it home with homework: anal training.

Toy started with a tiny little jeweled 2 inch anal plug (totally guessing on the actual size, toy knows nothing about measurement, but it is super small, swear), and at the time it felt like absolute hell pushing into its ass, using copious amounts of baby oil to suffer through the gradual opening of toy’s anal ring. Sir would have toy humiliatingly record itself push the plug in and out 10 times a night until it was ready for a more normal 4- 5 in (no idea, really)anal plug. Toy can still remember how badly it burned the first time put the bigger plug in and almost gave up then and there. But Sir really does have a great cock, and toy really really wanted to experience it again, so toy persevered. The things a slut does for a good fuck. 

The next session, a week or 2 later, toy knew it was going to have its first experience with His cock in its sore, practiced asshole. Sir laid toy over the playhouse desk, pressed His head against its scared hole after generously lubing it, turned on the camera and said “do You want me to fuck Your ass?” After a weak little “yes Sir” reply, Sir began the fairly difficult task of stuffing Himself into toy. It took so long that toy started to relax, even giggling a little as Sir kept pushing into toy with little results. Until he found the perfect spot and pushed the head of His big cock past toy’s anal ring...the sharp, searing pain caused toy to lose its breath momentarily, before uttering our protests and groans. Sir was gentle (ah those new, virginal days) but kept pushing into toy. With every inch toy took it could feel its body stretching, popping, reluctantly letting Sir in. Seeing the pleasure on Sir’s face made taking the pain worth it, but toy was secretly relieved when He pulled out. Until He pushed back in. This time the searing pain was gone but the burning soreness that replaced it was intense and longer lasting. Sir finally gave toy its first load in its ass. Toy marveled all the way home as it felt the cum dripping out, it’s head reeling with the intensity of the pleasure it felt from taking so much pain to please its Sir.

Toy continued its anal homework, only with the bigger plug from then on, and ordered its first rubber “everyday” anal plug, with a jiggle ball in it.Toy didn’t realize that every day would eventually mean every day. At first Sir would require toy to wear Jiggle for a few hours at a time, but soon toy was wearing it a lot, throughout work, at the grocery store and to bed. Jiggle has come to be toy’s secret collar, a constant reminder that Sir owns toy and controls its holes every moment, regardless of our proximity to one another. Truly when toy has forgotten it, it feels empty and unfulfilled, both physically and mentally.

After a few sessions of getting used to painal from Sir’s cock, even beginning to crave and orgasm from it, Sir started “suggesting” that toy try to take His cock without lube. At first, toy genuinely thought He was joking. “Sure, no problem let’s do it,” was toy’s sarcastic reply. But by this time, toy was already addicted to pleasing Him however it could, so it knew it would fold easily if He asked for it. But He didn’t. Instead, Sir talked to toy about it until He convinced it that it would love the pain of no-lube anal, until finally toy was asking Him to fuck it dry! With just a mixture of my spit on His cock and His spit on toy’s hole, Sir pushed Himself into toy and groaned in pleasure at the sound of toy’s screams. It was a repeat of that very first anal session, searing pain and burning sensation but as He pushed into toy further and further toy could already feel itself falling in love with the sensation.  Feeling the folds of His shaft rubbing inside, the backwards pushing of its g-spot, it’s nerves tingling on end, suddenly toy was begging to let it cum rather than begging to take it out. Toy believes that was the very moment toy really became an anal slut.

In 6 months, Sir has trained toy’s ass beautifully, from taking a measly little plug to now taking whole dildos, a heavy metal gate knob and an even heavier trailer hitch in its ass. Not at the same time of course. The heavy knobs Sir has introduced help keep toy’s anal ring tight and its muscles strong so that when Sir fucks it, He can still give toy the anal pain it now needs while feeling the tight pleasure He craves. So this blog is to embarrassingly proclaim to the World Wide Web that this toy is a needy, no-lubed cock craving, destroyed-hole desiring, cum-dripping, anal whore. And it really hopes this confessional will earn it an orgasm and a load of cum in its ass tomorrow  

Denial and Toy’s Addiction

If the orgasms Sir gives His toy are a drug (and yessiree they are) then this month of orgasm denial is turning into a hell of a withdrawal. Toy is one week down, yay!, and 3 weeks away from its next release. In this first week, toy has dealt with a constantly throbbing aching cunt, unable to even touch some of the time on Sir’s orders, rocking back and forth on every surface it can find, finding pathetic solace in anything that provides even a modicum if relief, like rolled up towels, bed frames and tight jean inseams. But the farther toy falls into denial despair, the needier it becomes, both physically and mentally. 

Usually, toy is able to suppress needy feelings, letting things be and telling itself it’s an independent “cool” sub (“I’m not like a regular sub, I’m a cool sub”). Toys don’t meddle, toys don’t adequately express their feelings, toys are easy peasy lemon squeezy. Evidently, orgasms are toy’s secret weapon to that mindset. Once toy’s ability to cum was extinguished, it became a needy mess, desperate for Sir’s attention and touch. So when toy showed up to the playhouse last night and Sir’s hand slipped under its dress and into its aching cunt, toy almost melted away in an instant. It took toy a second to remember that it wasn’t allowed to cum but luckily Sir had other plans in mind.

Sir took His toy to His office and put on its collar, then pointed under the desk. Cue the cheesy bdsm cliche. Seriously, this was like a baby fantasy for toy when it first discovered D/s, servicing a Dom while He worked. Now, seasoned and experienced and let’s not forget needy as fuck, toy was not thrilled with being shoved under the desk while Sir looked at paper work. Sir can read toy’s mind it seems though, because the next thing it knew, toy was bent over and Sir was shoving His cock inside its cunt. It was electric, angel-singing euphoria, “virginal” desperation depleted into eye-rolling relief. He pulled on toy’s chain collar so that it’s airway was cut short, just enough to float away in hyxiated without blacking out, still feeling Sir’s gift within. Sir held his cock deep inside of toy as it’s cunt throbbed around it, calling for a decent hard fuck, but instead Sir pulled out and sat down in His office chair, cock standing and waiting for toy’s mouth. Sir bent over His paperwork as toy bent over His cock to suck and worship. Instead of being bitter though, toy took His distraction as a challenge, deepthroating, gagging, sucking to regain His precious attention. Whenever He glanced down at me, toy felt relief; when He looked away, toy felt motivation. 

Finally (ok it was like 5 min at the most, but toy is impatient), the sweet moment came when Sir put His pen down and picked His toy up, letting it ride His cock happily before bending it over the desk, pulling out its anal plug, shoving that in its mouth right before shoving His big hard cock deep into toy’s ass. Sir usually goes slow, letting it stretch before sinking all the way in, but Sir was not playing around this time. Toy tried to concentrate on not drooling on Sir’s work and taking the searing pain but soon toy had to concentrate on not orgasming instead. Sir was merciful and pulled out every time He felt toy’s body convulse, taking the time to beat the ever loving fuck out of toy’s ass cheeks in between thrusts. At one point Sir used a ruined orgasm break to put binder clips on toy’s cunt lips. Shamefully, toy was only able to take 2 clips on its outer lips, when Sir attached one to its inner lip the slippage and severe pinch made toy cry out for mercy. Masochist fail. Now toy has something else to practice because it will be damned if it is done in by a damn binder clip. 

As Sir put toy down on its knees to suck Him to His orgasm, His words further motivated toy to take the pain “Do you see how hurting You makes me rock hard.” Gah, 😍😍😍😍. Toy took more of His harsh hits to the ass before Sir put its face between His hands, using its mouth like any other hole, fucking it without regard of toy’s gag, sticking it as far down its throat as toy can currently handle to cum. Not moving from His comfortable spot in the back of toy’s throat, toy had to swallow fast to guzzle down His thick load, as Sir taunted toy’s inability to taste anything more than a few drops on its tongue at the end. 

This was a quickie session, a mere using of a toy for Him to relieve stress. Toy is still worried about neediness: what is too much, what is not enough; but as always, toy has learned lessons from Sir’s guidance. When the pen drops, when His eyes move to His toy, there is an absolute simple joy within it. He holds the key to toy’s pleasure, and right now, for this month of denial, but really for the entirety of this relationship, the pleasure is completely in His. 

Sir is under the impression that toy does not have the memory of a flea (oh but it does), and has asked to write about a session from at least a month ago. Luckily toy loved this session and has used it for many a masturbation. Ok, it loves every session, whateves.

Sir asked me to come by the playhouse for JUST a spanking. This silly slut took Him seriously and did not come “ready” for anything more than some serious bruising and delirium. Then toy walked in and noticed a lone wooden sawhorse in the middle of the playhouse. Sir quickly locked toy into its play collar and walked it over to the horse, commanding it to straddle and lean over and stay still. Without a word, Sir tied toy’s hands and feet tightly to each end and licking it’s collar to a hook He had attached to the side. Even though toy trusts Sir, it is not used to being tied up completely, and a sense of internal panic commenced. Toy knew it was in for something intense. 

Sir began by pulling down toys pants, which was expected. Then He struck toy’s cheeks with hard firm spanks, evoking toy’s cries and whimpers, which was expected. What toy was not expecting was His hard cock pushing against its cunt lips. Quick PSA: it seems like girls are forever 100% drippy wet when you scroll through tumblr feeds and pornhub, but reality doesn’t always play out so perfectly. Toy was excited to be at the playhouse, exhilarated to be at the hands of Sir, but toy wasn’t expecting to be fucked, thus it’s cunt was not properly wet. 😳 Ugh that’s humiliating to admit to the World Wide Web. Anyways, Sir forced himself into toy regardless of its, eek, dryness, causing toy to cry out and earn more hard hits. Toy’s cunt did start to flood as Sir fucked and beat on His toy while it tried fruitlessly to wiggle and strain against its ties. His favorite game to play was getting toy so close to orgasm, then pulling out and listening to toy’s cries of frustration.

 He walked to the front of the horse and lifted toy’s head by its hair, shoving His cock into toy’s unsuspecting mouth. Toy tried its best to take all of Sir’s thick big cock down its throat, but the surprise and restrained angle caused toy to struggle and choke. This resulted in the hardest spanks of the night, sending toy into a dizzying spell of subspace. Sir continued fucking and denying toy’s orgasms, even pushing a Red Bull can into its cunt at one point. Then suddenly He was at its side, stroking His cock before spilling a ton of his milk all over the side of toy’s face, letting it fall into toy’s hair and drip into toy’s eye and down its arm and hand. Toy is a complete cum slut and was horrified to feel His warm seed without having any physical freedom to taste, catch, and worship the pouring of His. While Sir moved back to enter toy once again, toy focused its restrained gaze on the cum slowly dripping off of toy’s hand onto the floor. He finally said those perfect words, “cum toy,” and the limb restraints, wasted cum, big cock strokes all swirled around inside toy as it spasmed its relief into orgasmic bliss. Sir came back to toy’s mouth as toy floated in its orgasm high. This time, toy was docile and receptive to Sir’s cock deep down its throat, as far as He could get it. He held it’s cum coated face between His hands while He used its mouth hole to stroke Himself to His own orgasmic cum. Toy swallowed this load desperately, first because it didn’t want to miss another drop but also because Sir had taken all of the choice away anyways. 

After both loads were over, Sir had to take a phone call. He walked into another room while leaving toy alone soaked, stuck, and used. Toy watched the cum continue to drip off its hand for cold minutes that felt like an eternity. The panic was gone but the vulnerability was strong, and suddenly toy was aroused again. Vulnerability is a powerful aphrodisiac for fucktoys. When Sir finally came back to toy and began the process of releasing it, toy felt its usual sense of contentment mixed with a little bit of sadness that the session was over. Sir’s total restraint of toy, Sir’s powerful control over every aspect of the session and toy’s body, that is the stuff a fucktoy’s dreams are made of. Not bad for “just a spanking.”

Toy’s got issues. (Cue Julia Michaels, but don’t because Ug yuck) Since meeting Sir back in October, toy has been able to focus so much of its depression and anxiety into its training, effectively turning down the volume on its evil spawn brain. However, due to a long 10 day stretch between sessions and an issue-triggering argument with a good friend, toy could feel itself spiraling down into its old familiar self-loathing, anxiety returning with a vengeance ringing in between toys ears. Until toy pulled up to the playhouse Monday evening.

Toy’s mind, racing mere minutes before, melted into its most primal state of longing as soon as Sir smiled His perfectly kind and perfectly sadistic smile. Each step up the stairs into Sir’s lair toy was met with the giddy happiness that toy only feels when it’s about to be used. Sure enough, as soon as toy stripped out of its vanilla wear, Sir had His hand on toy’s throat, backing it up to His chosen spot of the evening, a dirty flat piece of cardboard. Eyes locked, 2 quick slaps across the face, and toy’s mind was finally silenced into peace. Sir put toy on its hands and knees, pulled toy’s tit out of its red bra and let his trusty rubber band go over and over to mark toy’s nipple with bloody welts. Sir’s strong hands met toy’s broad ass with heavy strokes, toy could only make it through 2 before it cried out in pain and interchangeable ecstasy.

Most of the time Sir takes His time playing with toy; but this night Sir yanked down its shorts, pulled toy’s plug out of its ass, reached around to stuff it into toy’s ready mouth, and forced His thick cock into toy’s ass without pause. Sir didn’t stop pushing into the hole He owns even while toy cried out in muffled protests. When Sir takes toy’s holes so quickly it feels like He can’t wait to be inside, the eagerness matches toy’s and drives it crazy with fulfillment. Sir didn’t miss a beat as he fucked toy’s ass deeper and deeper, using the rubber bands to mark symmetrical “t”s on its ass while reminding toy that it was not allowed to cum. Sir submerged His cock in toy’s ass by reaching his hands to toy’s face, pushing the formerly-anal-now-mouth plug deeper into toy’s choking throat. Sir only stopped long enough to cram His cock into toy’s mouth and re-lube with toy’s drool. The deeper Sir fucked toy’s ass, the more He stretched His claimed hole, the harder it was for toy not to cum. Even when toy would get too close, Sir would make toy ruin it without removing Himself, causing toy to go into fits of frustration. Finally, probably because He realized toy was about to actually explode, Sir pulled out, yanked toy around until we were face to face and finally said the sacred words “Cum for Me.” No stimulation except for Sir’s words and the clenching of toy’s cunt, toy gasped and grasped until it finally released everything, physical and mental, pain and pleasure, frustration and infatuation, everything to Sir in a long, gratifying orgasm. His body over mine, His face near mine, His words floating over me, that’s all it took for toy’s mind to finally focus on its joy while its hand clenched Sir’s shirt (and possibly His beard..eek sorry Sir).

Sir used His toy to finish, cumming deep in toy’s ass and then plugging it in with a surprise new plug: the gatekeeper. The heavy round plug is literally a knob for a gate, but now it’s toy’s weighted training tool. Sir made toy stay on all 4s as He let His piss run all over its electrified body, feeling both warmth from his nectar and cold from the exposed air drying it onto toy’s skin and clothes. Sir was kind enough to allow toy to gratefully lick the last drops off the tip of His cock.

When the evening ended, toy hopped in the car as a drooly, gushy, cum-filled, gatekeeper-plugged, piss-stained mess. But it’s mind. It’s mind was clear, happy, calm, pure. Time with Sir is better than Xanax, because toy is able to release itself from its incessant internal monologue, give itself completely to Him, and fulfill its purpose. Even when sub drop hit a few hours later, toy was able to harbor the feelings of ecstasy within itself to combat the incoming realities. There are at tons of positive reasons to get involved in D/s; for me, this time, it was as simple as putting the sounds of anxiety on mute.

*I'll post more experiences here but if you really wanna know what makes me tick, follow my tumblr: sluttylittlecupcake