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DAEVNBUSSARS DAVENBUSSARS DAEVNBUSSARS DAEVNBUSSARS |
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I LOVE THE DAVE N BUSTER'S HERE IN DOWNTOWN CHI. Welp, I know what I'm doing today. |
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I LOVE presenting myself on stage, for the pleasure of strange men. The hunger in their eyes arouses me. It's like casting a spell. I know what they need, I know what they desire the most. So, in a way, I submit when I am on stage. Maybe this is why I have continued to dance, through all of the drama and bullshit. Because, just for minutes at a time, I get to be my true self.
There. I said it. |
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Hurray, I get to go to work today! |
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Ok, I'm done fucking with my profile.
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I have finally reached the point of being able to coherently and clearly express my reasons for wanting to serve and live out my days as a submissive woman. I've never been more sure about anything in my life. |
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I'm sorry if I come across as harsh or rude within parts of my profile information. These are areas that are either ignored or overlooked, so I feel that I need to reassert the importance of these ideas. Listening to someone's thoughts, say, over the phone is completely different from reading typed information. Emotions and attitudes are not as easily or efficiently expressed in comparison to phone conversation or a face to face encounter. In short, I am not a rude, tactless person, but I get fed up with certain things, just like everyone else. |
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Am I seriously in Chicago with no place to stay?
Yup!
Lol. |
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And so, I once again feel the need to venture to Chicago, this weekend. I need a fucking break lol.
TIME FOR FUUUNNNNN. |
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylT16QB6Uig
This is how I keep in shape. |
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Going to bed, now. Goodnight, CM. |
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I feel like I'm being a pest. So, maybe I should just stop trying and go into hiding.
No, fuck that self pity bullshit. If you don't wanna talk to me, just tell me so that I can stop wasting time and resources. There we go. C:< |
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OH MY GOD.
LOOPALIKE REPONDED TO MY MESSAGE ON FACEBOOK. OH MY GAAAAAAAAAAAWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.
I'M A FRENCH HOUSE GROUPIE WHORE AND I DON'T CAARRREEE! lol jk. But you know, I do admire French House/Disco House artists. |
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=R83Bt0tFhOA
www.youtube.com/watch?v=FL-R3z-vNMM
and my favorite...
www.youtube.com/watch?v=vCvsUTVeKpM |
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If you're going to message me with something insulting and or negative, I will be negative and insulting right back. If you have something that you want to insult or pick on, its better just not to even click on the send message button. Hell, put it in your journal lol.
I don't message anyone out of the blue and target their beliefs, choices, or any element of their lifestyle and look at it with disgust. I don't expect the same.
However, if you are nice to me, I will be nothing cordial or nice to you.
Just a thought. |
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I'm not looking for anything new.
Just wanted to put that waaaaayyyyyy out there. lol |
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHcMqOQt4NY |
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I'm sorry, but I don't think I would be a good Domme. I just can't really get comfortable with the idea of...humiliating and abusing a man. It's just not...me. It's like sending a kitten after a wolf.
"Yeah kitten, you...scratch that wolf with those...itty bitty claws! (cue 'awww') Oh, and mew at him; that will get him to submit!
Awww, look, the kitten is falling asleep! D'awww."
That doesn't mean that I don't have respect for Dommes; I do, and I am also rather intimidated by them.
"DEAR JESUS THAT LION IS TEARING THAT WOLF APART! OH GAWWWDD, THE CARNAGE..."
Ehhh. |
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rHG-JO8gIGk&feature=player_embedded
This is an awesome demonstration of a great Pokemon battle. |
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Oh yes. "Pretty Persuasion" is going at the top of my Favorite Movies of All Times list.
Right next to "Hard Candy", "Lolita", "The Professional", and "Secretary"...
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If this talent scout thing works out, I am removing my pictures. C: |
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The message board "elites"... Lol, "we'll completely define your personality by your age and by what you post on the internet!". |
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Today, I have learned:
Flakes on CM can be like wolves in sheep's clothing. I really am talking to strictly one man, from now on. If shit hits the fan, I'll be back on again.
The CM message boards = one of those movies that you anticipate will be awesome, but its full of a bunch of shitty actors and contains an overused plot
Lol |
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No one at work told me that moonshine creeps.
It's like liquid dro. -_- |
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Some of you are ridiculously attractive. RIDICULOUSLY.
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REAL rape victims:
Women who have suffered endless nights of agonizing pain, after being sexually assaulted against their will, whether by force or knowledge of their lives/a loved one's life being in danger. These women saw every bead of sweat on the face of their rapist. Or, these women were drugged by an individual and had no idea that the one beer would render them unconscious.
Savannah Dietrich:
A young, dumb, drunk, attention-whoring bitch who drank waaay too much beer (while knowing that it was illegal at 17), passed the fuck out, and got fucked by a couple of idiots.
Lol any questions? |
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Sick, horrible humor.
lol
www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJzq-QNV690 lc=3N76Rn0F7lpO_MYx6E5v4kbD9WIuvl-0BqGuIs6RinE&feature=inbox |
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Ok, ok, I'll try to put this as nicely as I can. Although, it has been previously stated in an earlier entry to mine...
I am not interested in being owned by a Dom over the age of 43.
Thank you.
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Alright, I will not give up on collarme!
So, I'm here to stay.
From now on, however, things will be moving at a much slower pace.
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Well, I'm leaving collarme soon. For good. I've already removed my pics.
Most of the so-called "Dominants" on this site are psychotic/violent/creepy/misogynists/narcissists/flakes/all of the above.
Or maybe my standards are too high? Maybe I'm just too unwilling to be a mindless, grovelling slave to some sociopathic, potential serial murderer/animal torturer or an old creepy fat dude with an inferiority complex and tons of cash? Maybe I'm not fundamentally fucked-up ENOUGH to want to be dehumanized and spoken down to every single day for God knows how long?
Or maybe I'm just too...
sane?
...
O.o
...
Ok, ok, I won't go that far, but geez...
I guess the only being that I'm worshiping will be God, from here on.
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Also, it's time that I start making some fucking friends.
Any takers?
I like long walks on the beach, sex, cartoons, sex, OFWGKTADGAF, French House/Disco House, sex, dancing, hooping, sex, sex, sEX, SEX, SEX, SEEEXXXXXX, SEDXKJNFHLGRTFRSTGJISDBFGJLFNBKLGCHBGWTONNAVA
Perhaps I should try to get my mind out of the gutter before I start looking for new friends. -_- |
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How is it that I end up talking to someone who is even goofier than me?
OHHHH, FATE.
<3
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Alright, I'll admit it. I am shallow.
If you do not fit my physical desired physical standards, I won't even consider you. However, I don't see it as a a negative trait. I'm still a nice person to everyone I meet. I like to make friends. But sexual/physical is a whole other ball game. If you're fucking me, if you're DOMINATING me, I have to be able to look at your face, your body and cum from the sight of you. Obese/fat, old, wrinkled, homely, and creepy just won't do that for me. I'm sorry. You can't force attraction. And no, money does not make you God's gift to women. At least not to me. I'm not having sex with your money, I'm having sex with you lol.
If you're all talk and no Dom, I will sense it immediately. If you act like a Dominant, if you're just a puffed-up imitator, I will know and I will tear you apart. I know how to talk from the bottom, and if I feel that I can easily manipulate you, I will. Not only that, but I'll find your weaknesses. I will pick you a part, piece by piece. You will nearly become my bitch. Until I tire of you, and throw you away.
However, for you Alpha males, you born pack leaders, I will fall to my knees and honor you. |
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I took like two pictures while I was at work last night with some of the girls, and they came out great! I'm so stoked, maybe this means that I'm actually somewhat photogenic! YAAAAYYYYY.
I'm not posting them on here though. D:< |
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Craving.
A large, tall, muscular man. One who dwarfs me in size. I am small and soft, I want him to be big and hard. I will fall at his feet and worship him with every fiber of my being. I will bark, beg, and pant for his cock. I will share with him my innermost slut, puppygirl, plaything, lover, and companion.
I will be his submissive.
It will be the ultimate gift.
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Ok So...
Collar Me is looking like a waste of time for trying to find a Dom. I've been having better luck in the "real world", lol. So, I will log on sparingly.
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Alright , I might have forgotten to say this in earlier entries, but...
My age limit for a Dominant is 45. I don't care to pursue anything with anyone older than 45 years of age. Please keep in mind that I am 19. White hair, wrinkled skin, and liver spots are not attractive to me. I don't want a grandfather as a Dominant. Thank you.
My ideal age lies within the 28-37 range.
Anything below 26 is too young.
There we go. It's off my chest. |
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I am a puppy. A playful, frisky, romping puppy.
Woof. :3 |
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Shit. J-Biebs looked really adorable in his new "Boyfriend" video.
I'm not even a Bieber fan.
But you know, he was cute. |
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JUST TO LET YOU GUYS KNOW.
I like reading profile information. Not just tidbits about your vanilla interests and descriptions of your demented fantasies (ones that we probably share), but paragraphs. Yes, I said it.
Paragraphs.
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Also, I feel extremely Afro-tastic today.
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Looks like I'm on my way to getting a "normal job". Oh God.
I'm putting away my 7 inch stilettos for a while...
Sigh.
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I've decided to start up my electro shuffle practice. Again lol. I plan on attending EDC this year, along with other music fests in Chicago. I'll give it a week before I make a video of my progress. Yaaaay, dancing! |
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Ok, I feel as though I need to make this clear:
I am not interested in getting tortured and beaten within an inch of my life.
I am not interested in extreme sadists.
I am not interested in online "Dominants". Sorry, I am looking for a long-lasting commitment. It's fine to talk online for a bit, but I would eventually want to meet you face to face. If that cannot happen, I'm not interested.
I am not looking to be part of a poly household.
I don't want to have sex with another woman. The idea of licking another woman's vagina kind of sickens me. I worship cock, not pussy. C:
I am disgusted with the idea of being a "Southern-style slave". I am not a "n*gger slut".
I'm a little picky with physical appearances. I take care of my body, so I expect you to take care of yours. I don't see myself serving an overweight Dominant. I'm not asking for Bradd Pitt or anything, just take care of your health. |
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I apologize if i'm coming off as curt, today. I can't seem to express my thoughts. |
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I've noticed that some of these so-called "Dominants" on this site crave something more than absolute devotion and worship. They crave an abusee. A girl whom they can objectify and torture. These "men" enjoy dehumanization and are the most extreme misogynists. Past torments they have endured as children or young adults turns into a need to hurt and cause emotional and physical pain. A safe word becomes non-existent. Yes, some slaves are extreme masochists with very few limits. But the human psyche and body can only endure so much pain, before our spirit is permanently broken. Our minds protect ourselves from painful realizations and overwhelming truths. Sometimes, even the most masochistic man/woman cannot realize that they are victims of the darkness existing within the depths of their Doms. Their relationships result in physical deformities and mental trauma.
Just be careful, fellow submissives. Be careful. |
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TOMORROW, ON APRIL 22, 2012, I WILL HAVE BEEN ALIVE FOR 19 YEARS. YES.
Although, I fear my mortality. Sigh.
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