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At this point in time I am looking for a mentor and someone who can teach me. As much as I would like to read their minds I can't, so I need someone who can communicate clearly. One of the reasons I am drawn to the lifestyle is it gives a good mix of reward and punishment so I don't have to guess whether I'm making someone happy or not. I enjoy the instant feedback
There's such a wide variety of things I could do for someone I don't even know where to start. Eventually I would like to get on a very personal level with someone real life. My deepest urge is to do something for someone to please them, whether her or in real life. I really want to find someone to help me learn, and to learn what they like in particular. I feel the most worthwhile when I'm serving, and making someone happy.
I'm less into painful punishments than embarrassing ones that will help me reflect on things. I am not a masochist but would be willing to accept some physical punishment to please my One. Over time I seek that strong bond that so many subs have with the one they devote themselves to another, maybe even resulting in a deep love.
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Well, I'm trying to reach out to various people on Collarme. So far all I've gotten is a few variations of the same reply. From "No thank you I'm looking for someone closer to my own age" from a nice Domme older than myself, to "You don't respect any women. You should never ever post me." Course I cleaned up the spelling a bit on the last one.
Still, I don't know what I'm doing wrong. |
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Well, I've come back after more than a year of being away. I'm starting to work on my journal and considering the best way to introduce myself to the Lifestyle comunity to find a serious dominant. I left last time after the Incident, where a male slave contacted me as a female dominant, asked me to drive across state and "Prove myself to her by fucking her male slave." After demuring for several weeks because something didn't feel right to me and I had a fall cold lasting about 10 days, the next message I got was, "There never was a domme. I was the slave and I'm tired of waiting for you."
This reminds me of World of Warcraft where a male (I can only assume it was male on the other end) took a female elf character and offered to have sex with many people. A very suggestive name capped it all off. When they were done, they said, "Haha, you just had sex with a boy!" Little did they know I was only partly hetro, with a little bi. Joke's on them. :p
The point I want to make is I'm here as a sub, but i'm not dumb. |
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